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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    19

    Question What Documents May I Present and What to Expect in Family Court

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York

    I have tried to organize this as best as I can so you can understand my questions.

    Court/Legal Background:
    In January 2008 the NYS Supreme Court granted me (mom) sole custody of our developmentally disabled daughter, who is now 16.
    This was after other legal proceedings (assault charges) where my daughter's father had admitted to domestic violence and paid a fine. I had an Order of Protection against him that expired in 2010.
    At the same time as custody, the judge also issued an order for supervised visitation 2 hrs on alternate Saturdays, and noted my friend as the designated person to supervise. She lives about halfway between our homes, dad lives in Philadelphia PA. There were other specifications, like he could not drink prior to the visits, or disparage me and vice-verse.

    Visitation History:
    Dad made 12 visits with our daughter from January 19 to November 8, 2008. He did not try to see her again (so show, no call) until December 12, 2009. My friend and he spoke, but did not make plans as he said he was extremely ill, it hurt to hold the phone and hung up. (He has told me since he is on morphine for back pain)

    I allowed him to come to my home to see our daughter on July 1, 2010 after a court date for him to modify child support (19 months after he had last seen her).
    Since then he has shown up unannounced 2 or 3 times a year at my home to visit her. He stays for 30-60 minutes. I stay with them while he is here, because our daughter, who is on the autism spectrum has stranger and social anxiety - and he is virtually a stranger to her, one that hurt her mother years ago (she witnessed the abuse). I tried to promote his involvement in her life, which is why I allowed him to my home to see her and urged him to be consistent so he could have a relationship with her.

    This past year he came at Christmas, at Easter and most recently on Sept 11. In December 2013 he accused me of "ruining her (our daughter) life" and on September 11, 2014 he said that I "stole money from him in child support" and went on about that till I asked him to leave my home. (He never voluntarily gave me child support, but is on disability for the last two years and they send me $200 a month.)

    As much as I wanted to avoid conflict with him (so allowed him to see her here) - he is often verbally abusive to me when he comes (in front of our daughter) and I fear he could become physically violent since he did beat and choke me in 2007. I try to explain to him he can come to my home to visit her if he is civil. Otherwise he needs to call the designated supervisor of visitation and make arrangements to see our daughter. He has told me he will never agree to supervised visits again.

    Current Situation
    He has now filed summonses against me for:
    1. lower child support (not a worry, as I have made do with nothing before, even though I am unemployed right now) and
    2. modification of visitation - claiming "I never let him take his daughter out and do not cooperate with scheduling visits." He claims "the order was changed in 2011, but there is no indication in the court records" (because it was not). He also states that "supervisor ordered in the final order can no longer supervise the visits and he (dad) feels he does not require supervised visits."

    I do not want to keep him from seeing his daughter, but he is not a stable person (alcohol and drugs) and I want to keep the visits supervised for my daughter's safety and her psychic comfort. (The ONE time I let him take her supposedly 1/2 mile away to his friend's home without me in 2011, I found them across the bridge in New Jersey, my daughter locked in a hot car and him buying 1/2 gallon of rum in the liquor store. I do have a witness to that event. I took her home with me immediately.)

    My Questions

    1. I kept a log and notes of the visitations from Jan 19, 2008 through Sept 25, 2011. Is this submittable in court?
    2. The woman who is named as the supervisor can still do visitation, and has always been willing to do so. Can I submit a notarized statement to that effect to the court?
    3. I have a lot of documentation about my daughter's condition, should I bring copies of that to court?
    4. A "referee" is assigned to the case - what does that mean?
    5. And lastly, as I am representing myself currently, what can I expect in court and how can I best prepare?

    Thank you so very much for your guidance.

    A concerned mom in NYC

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: What Documents May I Present and What to Expect in Family Court

    What you need to do is retain a lawyer to represent you. You appear to be headed into contested child custody proceedings, but you don't know the basics about the rules of evidence and hearsay, or the presentation of witness testimony -- if your ex- is represented, you should anticipate that you will be steamrolled.

    The various people who can become involved in a family court case are described here.
    Quote Quoting Court Attorney Referee / JHO
    Some cases such as custody, visitation and orders of protection are conducted by a referee who may hear and decide the case, and issue temporary and final orders.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: What Documents May I Present and What to Expect in Family Court

    If you are completely unable to hire an attorney, then your first step is to file a response to his suit, refuting his allegations.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    19

    Default Re: What Documents May I Present and What to Expect in Family Court

    Thank you - that is very helpful advice. I will go to family court and I am sure the clerks will help me to respond to the suit.
    I have also asked the (court appointed) supervisor of visitation (a friend of mine) to send a letter to the court saying that my daughter's father has not attempted visitation through her since Nov. 2008.
    I cannot afford an attorney as I lost my job in May. Unless the court appoints one, I will be representing myself. That is why I was asking what was admissible. I guess I'll prepare as best as I can. Thanks again.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: What Documents May I Present and What to Expect in Family Court

    There's no simple way to tell you what will be admissible. The manner in which a document is used in court, and what you attempt to prove with the document, can affect whether or not it is excluded as hearsay or admissible under an exception or exclusion to the hearsay rule. The best evidence rule, basically a preference that original documents be submitted in court when available, can come into play if you are trying to submit a copy of a document. Documents that fall under a hearsay exception or exclusion may nonetheless be excluded based upon a court's finding that they're not relevant, are cumulative, or are unduly prejudicial or not sufficiently probative..... And even when there's no other impediment to admission, you need to lay a proper foundation for the admission of documents such that they can be deemed sufficiently authentic and reliable to be used in court.

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