Taking Custody Back from Grandparents

[Dogmatique]

Ok I get that I need an attorney. I had one, I don't have one anymore, and I'm not getting another one unless someone here is offering their services pro bono. So can you please meet me where I'm at? I assure you, I have a full time job and a child to raise, and if I could afford to have an attorney do all the thinking for me so that I could focus on my job and family, I would. Believe me. The stress is enormous and I realize how difficult this will be.

Anyway, would it not be true that we still retain that presumption because the order in which we voluntarily agreed to give custody to the grandparents has expressly stated that the parent child relationship is to be established and maintained? If that's not true, then I realize the burden of proof is on us to show that there has been a material change in circumstances. Actually, that would be the case either way. If we have corrected the issues that caused the removal (and have documented proof) and we and the grandparents are on an equal playing field as far as fitness, would it be taken into consideration that the grandparents do NOT respect the court order and go out of their way to interfere with the parent child relationship that the court ordered to be maintained?

Yes, I know, I need a lawyer. Feel free to contribute to my gofundme account if you feel that strongly. Otherwise, just help me out and answer my questions so I can do the best I can.

There's a basic premise here that I don't think you're grasping.

You're not standing equal to the grandparents - no matter what was agreed "off the record", you are not equal. I'm not nearly as convinced as you appear to be that you've got enough to switch physical custody and you withholding one of the children probably hasn't helped either.

Photos of bruises prove nothing - except that someone had a camera and took a photo. Phone recordings - well, you better hope your judge is in the mood to consider them (as opposed to being more angry that you may be sabotaging the only consistency these children have had). Much - if not all - of what you're alleging amounts to very little and again you've got to remember that you are NOT standing equal before the court.

Nobody here can walk you hand by hand through what may or may not happen. No matter what is said here, it could turn out to be 100% different on the day of court.

Demanding that people help you is not working well for you, either.

[monkeysinmybed]

There's a basic premise here that I don't think you're grasping.

You're not standing equal to the grandparents - no matter what was agreed "off the record", you are not equal. I'm not nearly as convinced as you appear to be that you've got enough to switch physical custody and you withholding one of the children probably hasn't helped either.

Photos of bruises prove nothing - except that someone had a camera and took a photo. Phone recordings - well, you better hope your judge is in the mood to consider them (as opposed to being more angry that you may be sabotaging the only consistency these children have had). Much - if not all - of what you're alleging amounts to very little and again you've got to remember that you are NOT standing equal before the court.

Nobody here can walk you hand by hand through what may or may not happen. No matter what is said here, it could turn out to be 100% different on the day of court.

Demanding that people help you is not working well for you, either.

Sabotaging their consistency? They lived with me for their entire lives up until CPS placed them with their grandparents. When they lived with me they were enrolled in school, my son had his multiple therapies several times a week, he played soccer, and my two girls went to Montessori school. All of their needs were met. I had zero support system because my husband was gone to rehab dealing with his addiction issues. I went from being primarily a stay at home mom who worked part time on the side, to a single parent and only breadwinner, with no help. The stress of the situation caused me to need a change in my depression medication. The doctor's reaction to my request for that change was so negative that I overreacted and said the wrong things, leading him to send me to a hospital, where as is Texas policy, they called CPS to do a welfare check. At no time were my kids harmed, left unattended, threatened with harm, abused or neglected. I realize that most people who have dealings with CPS will say that they didn't do anything wrong. I certainly made a mistake and I admit it. I should never, ever EVER have asked for mental health help at a low-income, inner city clinic where people are only numbers and the doctors are too overworked to really "hear" their patients. I would have been better off -- and my kids too- suffering in silence. We have private insurance now and if God forbid I ever have to go on Medicaid again I assure you I will not be getting medication or therapy through any state agency, ever again. Obviously we know my husband made mistakes and had a serious issue to deal with, which he did. My point is that my children's lives were not improved or enriched in any way by being sent to a foster home and then their grandparents. The grandparents get almost $2000 a month in benefits, but my son was nearly kicked out of public school because they refused to pay the very modest, affordable out of state tuition that they AGREED to pay when they accepted custody. At no point did they come to my husband and I who didn't find out til after the fact. We would gladly have paid it for them if lack of money was the issue. They just....didn't care. My son has Asperger's but they refuse to take him to therapies that could benefit him. These are the same people who were abusive to me my entire life (funnily enough, the therapy I've gotten since the kids were removed is what helped me to realize this) and then when I tried to talk to them about being raped and molested IN THEIR HOME, said, "you just misinterpreted what happened."
They aren't in this for the kids. It's all a game to my mother, and my father is too scared of her to do anything different. Believe me or don't.
I did in fact set up a gofundme months ago. But I was afraid to share it because people who knew my parents would see it and back then I was still trying to work things out amicably.
I haven't updated it in a while but if it's allowed I'll post my website here. www.ashash108.wix.com/angulo6

I won't keep asking for help here. I wish with all my heart that things were different. My husband works 6 days a week and makes decent money as an electrician but not enough for us to afford an attorney. Our current (former?) attorney advised us to withhold our daughter, and then didn't come to court that next morning. :/ If anyone knows of a GOOD lawyer in the Hampton Roads VA area that takes smaller payments, I'm all ears.

Truly, I'm not here to be demanding or rude. I just wanted some guidance. But thanks anyway.

[Dogmatique]

I'm not actually doubting your word. We've seen child services overstep in every part of the country - tragically yours is not the only case where this may have happened.

You gotta sell, do whatever it takes, to get an attorney on board. Is there a local law school? Most have programs where students help you, and it's all overseen by a professor. Law library? Anything? Have you (and I know this is a pain in the derriere) tried using different search terms in Google?

Like... "Legal Help with CPS" or something? <--- not very subtle hint

[geek]

Regent University has a clinic for low income clients.

http://www.regent.edu/acad/schlaw/academics/clinic.cfm

You can also try the Legal Aid society of Eastern VA. http://sites.lawhelp.org/Program/1647/

The income guidelines are usually pretty strict.

If they can't help you, ask them for a referral.

Again, good luck.