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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
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    2

    Exclamation Assault Charge After a Struggle Over Keys While Intoxicated

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: My question involves criminal law for the state of: Virginia

    My boyfriend and I got into an argument the other week during which he was trying to drive drunk....we had both been drinking that night so it was not the most calm of situations because we both had it in our head what we wanted to happen. A neighbor heard us and saw me trying to stop him from driving by trying to stand in front of his car which eventually led to me grabbing onto his hood when he moved forward....she then called the cops because she wasn't sure what was going on. My bf got out of the car to get me away from the front so he could leave and I was able to turn the car off and get the keys out of the ignition. I ran inside hoping that he would realize that this was not a good idea and he tried to pull the keys from me. During the struggle for the keys I was completely unaware of what happened, but he got the keys and left and I was bleeding from my head and my mouth. The cops then showed up and saw me bleeding and hysterical and obviously made assumptions as to what happened. At the time I kept telling them that I really didn't think I got injured because he hit me, but I wasn't sure exactly what happened. I was terrified at the time as I had a previous boyfriend who was abusive toward the end of our relationship and that's all that I was thinking about-during the combination of being drunk and scared apparently I had said that I wanted to move forward with charges...I don't really know what it means to press charges after all because I thought that was something I had control of the whole time and could drop when I wanted if I decided I no longer wanted to move forward with it. In the heat of the situation I didn't know what happened nor did I know what exactly I was doing as far as the police were concerned.

    After a few hours all the paperwork I was provided with was an emergency protective order for 72 hours, so I didn't think that anything else was happening outside of that....in my mind when you pressed charges I would have had to actually go down to the police station and file information. I took some time off from work...spent a few days with my family and cleared my head after that incident...I realized in the days after that he absolutely did not hit me or assault me, but that the small cuts on my head and inside my lip were from hitting a doorknob and the edge of the railing while I was trying to keep the keys from him. After some time and a lot of apologies I decided that I would forgive him and I would stay with him. That it was bad decision making on both parts (mainly him) and that we could both learn from it and move forward. I received a call almost a month after the situation from a victim and witness program point of contact and she informed me that there was a warrant out for my boyfriend's arrest...this came as a complete shock to me as neither of us knew that was going on. I didn't realize that's what the police were moving forward with that night and absolutely did not want this to be happening. He also lives out of state, so the police did not go to seek him out regarding this warrant.

    We both have ZERO criminal record outside of a DUI he got years ago when he was 21 and we have a relationship completely free from any kind of domestic violence situations. I have spoken to the detective assigned to my case and an unrelated police officer regarding the steps that we need to take. I have been told that my boyfriend will likely need to turn himself in and a warrant cannot just be pulled. I explained the story to the detective and he said he would talk to a few people and see what he could do, but he couldn't make any promises as to what would happen. Both my boyfriend and I are completely willing to be cooperative with whatever we need to do (i.e. turning himself in), but we are both completely in the dark and scared about this. I don't want him to be charged with assault as he did not assault me.....yes, the decisions he made were poor and there's no excuse for me getting hurt (which he didn't know I was hurt when he left), but he does not deserve to have an assault charge on his record. We know it was a horrible, very wrong situation that blew up into much more than it should have and we regret how things played out.

    If anyone could provide any insight or help I would much appreciate it. I read that possibly taking anger management classes could show that he's willing to alleviate the situation on his own and that turning himself in would obviously make it clear he is willing to cooperate. We haven't talked to a lawyer yet, but understand that is a very good possibility we will need to get some legal representation for this. I know that I would have the opportunity to speak with the prosecutor, but they also have the right to move forward and ignore anything I currently have to say.

    I know that there are people that believe he assaulted me; however this is 100% not the case in this situation...he is not a violent person and reacted poorly when he got scared that the neighbors were going to call the cops and he could get a DUI (again I know he chose to get in behind the wheel).

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: Need Advice/Guidance Regarding a mistaken Assault Charge

    What do you want to hear? This is not going to go away and he is going to prosecuted. He needs a lawyer ASAP. He needs to stay away from you.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Need Advice/Guidance Regarding a mistaken Assault Charge

    And apparantly anger management isn't so much his issue as is his apparant ALCOHOL problem. But don't kid yourself into that alcohol CAUSES domestic violence; plently of people get staggering drunk, often, and never assault their partner. Similarly, plently of people batter the crap out of them while stone cold sober. Instead, both alcohol use and domestic violence are METHODS, coping mechanisms, that people choose to use to deal with various issues, and those choices tend to cause additional problems (including various types of criminal charges) of their own. Domestic violence is a strategy that is a criminal one. Chronic alcoholism on the other hand is a disease; one that can be treated. Unless you two as a couple plan to have a life of this sort of thing, he needs to be getting himself some professional help for his alcoholism, and you should be getting some counseling for yourself to get some insight as to why you're willing to accept and excuse this behavior from him (because the state doesn't find it acceptable and can try and sentence him accordingly in the interest of protecting ALL of society, not just you).

    In the meantime, he's facing a criminal charge that could have ramifications for many aspects of his future. He needs to both retain a criminal defense attorney or ask the court to appoint one if he qualifies, and he needs to OBEY the court's order to stay away from you, unless he wants to add ADDITIONAL charges to those he's already facing. USE that time apart to educate yourself about both alcoholism and the dynamics of domestic violence. You're in it so deep right now that you can't see the forest for the trees. At the other end of the criminal charges, regardless of what happens to him in court, if you "take him back" with the same blinders on, you can really only expect more of the same over time. It's not simple coincidence that BOTH of his problems with the law revolve around alcohol. If you love him, LEARN that he's GOT a problem; learn as much as you can ABOUT the problem, so that if you choose to do so, you can be an active and cognitive part of approaching a SOLUTION to the problem with him. Alcohol issues don't just disappear on their own; they take time, lots of work, and lots of support. You want to help him? The first step is educating yourself, and the second step is holding him accountable. Until you BOTH understand that he's GOT a problem, you can't be part of helping him FIX it.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Need Advice/Guidance Regarding a mistaken Assault Charge

    I'm pretty sure she is is asking questions regarding her bf's ridiculous reasons for having to seek legal representation, not for people to give their opinions on her relationship or to diagnose her bf with alcoholism.

    Yea unfortunately your bf is going to have to turn himself in and to get a lawyer. What you have to say about the situation now is pretty irrelevant as crazy as that sounds. After he turns himself in I'm sure the court will say for him to stay away from you. Stupid. Just tell your bf NOT to plead guilty for ANYTHING. Domestic Violence is like the mother of all charges these days and it could potentially ruin his life. Get a lawyer and get all charges dropped. Hope you two the best of luck.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Need Advice/Guidance Regarding a mistaken Assault Charge

    Her BF needs legal representation because

    During the struggle for the keys I was completely unaware of what happened, but he got the keys and left and I was bleeding from my head and my mouth.
    That's gonna result in a domestic violence charge in all 50 states. And apparantly the prosecutor has no intention of dropping anything, since the prosecution is the party who had to go to the judge to GET the warrant in the first place.

    .he is not a violent person and reacted poorly when he got scared that the neighbors were going to call the cops and he could get a DUI
    Yes. He reacted poorly. WITH VIOLENCE. You didn't get injured by magic. He needs an attorney. ASAP.

    I have spoken to the detective assigned to my case and an unrelated police officer regarding the steps that we need to take. I have been told that my boyfriend will likely need to turn himself in and a warrant cannot just be pulled. I explained the story to the detective and he said he would talk to a few people and see what he could do
    The police are of no use at this point. It's out of their hands at this stage. It's the prosecutor's ball game now. Police are not attorneys and neither he nor you shouldn't be taking legal advice from them. He needs an ACTUAL attorney.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Need Advice/Guidance Regarding a mistaken Assault Charge

    I do appreciate all the advice and for what it's worth he 100% did not strike me during the situation-his hands were pulling at the keys and nothing was ever directed to do bodily harm to me. I understand you have made up your own opinion that he reacted with violence, but I was bent over at the waist-with the keys close to my torso-which is how my head/face were the level of the railing and the doorknob when I was moving around trying to keep the keys away from him, in the dark, nonetheless. I also realize that I'm going to have to face the stigma of a battered woman who is staying with her abusive boyfriend, but that's not the case.

    I know that the police aren't going to be the final advice that we receive regarding this....we're just trying to educate ourselves and do our homework before moving forward. I know he is willing to cooperate 100% and knows that turning himself in as well as getting are lawyer are things he's going to likely have to do.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    52

    Default Re: Need Advice/Guidance Regarding a mistaken Assault Charge

    but he got the keys and left
    Did he drive away INTOXICATED?

    I would like to suggest you and your bf talk to a lawyer. This case will much likely end up on court,
    • your testimony,
    • the neighbor's 911 call,
    • the neighbor's testimony,
    • the officers' testimony
    • and your bf's testimony (if he testifies)

    will be all used to prosecute. Assuming the car was your bf's car, it may be his defense that he was trying to recover his own property from you as you have no right take his property by force even if he is drunk but again you need to talk to a lawyer.

    Here are some guidelines to follow when searching for the right attorney in the domestic violence case:

    http://www.ejfi.org/DV/dv-20.htm#selecting

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