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  1. #1

    Default Custodial Parent Refused Non-Custodial Parent's Visitation

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: KY

    Background: Summer visitation between my child's Mother and I is every other week for a total of 4 weeks (unless she wants to allow more which she does not agree to) in the summer and then every other weekend. Weeks run Sunday to Sunday from 5:00 to 5:00 unless we agree on a different time on Sunday, then that time is moved. My child's stepfather texted me Sunday at noon asking to drop my child off at my house instead of our normal meeting place an hour away (we live 2 hours apart) if I would agree to bring my daughter back to their home next Sunday as they were passing through our city on their way home from being out of town. We were out of town and had already made our plans to meet in our normally scheduled placed at 5:00, therefore I told him that we would just stick to meeting there as we had already made plans and they had not given us enough time to change those plans. After he stated he would not be meeting us there at 5:00, it would be 7:00 at the earliest that they could make it there, I agreed to have them drop my daughter off with me at my house. They then argued back and said they would just meet me in our normal spot at 7:00 PM. Once again, I agreed. Not happily, but I agreed.

    The Mother of my child then calls me and states that she will not be bringing my daughter to meet me at all and that I will be missing this last week of my summer vacation because she is angry with me stating that she does not have to agree to send her daughter with anyone when she does not know what she is doing at every moment. She claims I do not answer my phone and sent my 6 year old to my house with a working cell phone the last week she came and I told her my daughter would not be allowed to use it. All calls needed to go through me. She is claiming I never answer my phone, however phone logs will prove otherwise in court as in a 2 month time period I have made 23 outbound calls to her and she has made 21 inbound calls to me. Seems pretty equal to me. The Mother ended that phone call my stating that if I call or text her she will file harassment charges and that she hopes I "crash and die"

    So, with school beginning in 2 weeks, I will not have a makeup week as we will not get in court in time and she thinks that I do not allow her communication with our daughter and that is reason enough to keep her from me, which as I stated before, is a total lie.

    My question is this, this is not the first time this has happened. I have taken her to court three other times before for disregarding our court ordered agreement and all the judge tells her is to not do it again, and this last time she ordered us to counseling and stated we needed to work on communication.

    When will the courts/judge have enough of this behavior and what am I supposed to do as a Father? She does not do drugs, she is not an alcoholic, I cannot prove her unfit, but since she keeps getting away with it she will continue time and time again to take my time. My weeks are crucial to my relationship with my daughter as I only have her four weeks in the summer, one week of christmas and Fall/Spring break if it is my year.

    I know nobody can tell me what a judge would decide, but based on past experience, when is enough enough from a Judge's standpoint?
    I am going to request that my week be made up the week of Christmas so that I have both weeks of Xmas vacation and will have her for Xmas as I already have her fall and spring break this year so if I do not, I will have to wait until next Summer. I am also going to request that we do 28 straight days in the summer since we cannot agree on meeting times, and so that she cannot get angry like this and take any of my weeks away.

    Any advice would be helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    1,877

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Refused Non-Custodial Parents Visitation

    I am confused. In half of your posts you talk about "my child's mother" and in half of your posts you talk about "my child's father". What is going on here?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    244

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Refused Non-Custodial Parents Visitation

    Quote Quoting mmmagique
    View Post
    I am confused. In half of your posts you talk about "my child's mother" and in half of your posts you talk about "my child's father". What is going on here?
    It appears we have a husband and wife who each have a case and are using the same account to post both. I did find one thread where the poster said her husbands case and was actually posting her husbands case, but the rest have been her husband posting or so they want us to believe that both are posting.

    So what is up with confusing us poster?

  4. #4

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Refused Non-Custodial Parents Visitation

    I am Stepmom posting for Husband, may be why I said my Husband in some cases.

    When referring to my child's father, that is a case I am dealing with in regards to my child's biological Fatherr and my Son, not the same as my step daughter and her mother.

    Sorry for any confusion, this post is in regards to my husbands daughter and the situations we are currently dealing with with her Mother

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    1,877

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Refused Non-Custodial Parents Visitation

    Ok, well, he just has to keep taking her back for contempt. It does seem as if the judge is getting tired of it as (s)he ordered counseling this last time instead of just warning her.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Refused Non-Custodial Parents Visitation

    At what point in the process do you fight for a change in custody? It seems these days unless you are unfit, custody rarely gets changed to the Father, however from different things we read online they all state that if a Mother continuously does this, the courts can award a change of custody. Just unsure how far we push it and fight for it. I know not this time, but it will happen again. Always does..

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    244

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Refused Non-Custodial Parents Visitation

    Quote Quoting Wildcat2013
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    At what point in the process do you fight for a change in custody? It seems these days unless you are unfit, custody rarely gets changed to the Father, however from different things we read online they all state that if a Mother continuously does this, the courts can award a change of custody. Just unsure how far we push it and fight for it. I know not this time, but it will happen again. Always does..
    Not exactly true, when custody is established by court order, it's very difficult to change that custody, matters little if your mom or dad without custody. Believe it or not some dads are awarded custody at the start of cases, always harder for a dad to be awarded custody off the bat, but just as hard for a mom who does not have custody to change it.

    From this point forward, just please state which case and if your posting your husbands state that it is you the wife posting for him. Many will not even answer you, as your a 3rd party with no legal dog in this fight. Some will and letting us know off the bat who is posting will most likely keep ones who will answer, answering.

    A possible solution that could be added when your husband files contempt, is the order is followed, unless a deviation is done in writing and signed by both parties. This would take care of mom changing the order around, dad agreeing and then mom coming back and wanting something else. It would also come down on her harder, if this stipulation was in there, it done in writing when she decides dad can't have the child at all now.

    Up to the Judge how the make up time will be applied, some feel like time for like time. So dad would not get the make up time at Christmas, he would get it next summer. Others feel that like time would be any other break time, including holidays.

    I would be a wise person if I could answer when a court will do something. By experience outside of unfit very hard to get a court to do much and it takes forever. I know of many relative's cases that have this same exact issue going on. Courts tend to not fix a problem until there is a problem for them to see. Even then they are very slow about it, they want the parties to just work it out themselves.

    The best I can tell you, is if this is a constant issue, dad needs to file each and every time that mom fails to follow the order. Dad needs to attempt each time he files to have something put in the order to cover the issue for future. The more details, the less once can misinterpret the order and the less they can get away with it in court. You will get a feeling by what the court does and when the court has had it and know when/if it is the right time to go for a change in custody, but it takes much. The fact that dad got counseling ordered, is huge, I know of many cases that have dragged on for years of this and the court will not order that counseling.

    How's the counseling going? Do they both attend? If mom does not does dad?

  8. #8

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Refused Non-Custodial Parents Visitation

    Thank you very much for your insight, I will make sure to mark how I am posting next time.

    He had filed a motion of show cause in February as she was declining to sign their court ordered agreement from the time before in court and then filed taxes on our year and stated that since she had not signed the agreement, she had every right to claim their daughter and not allow us to. The judge stated that communication needed to be worked on, so she ordered each of them to attend one counseling session, separate from each other before their final court case which was in May. Both parties completed the one day class, and the judge had asked that they work everything out before they came back into the courtroom in May, and they did. We are receiving the next three years in a row of tax exemptions, one being a make up year from this year. But, you are correct. It seems like every time they go to court, the judge asks them to try mediation first, try to get it worked out, and then sets a follow up court case for anything that cannot be resolved. This time, my Husband is not going to willingly work anything out with her attorney. It is getting out of hand. She firmly believes that since she is "mom", she has a right to take his time away if he is not doing what she asks of him to do. She has stated before that her being Mom is more important than any court signed document by a judge and that she always gets final say in what happens with her daughter.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Refused Non-Custodial Parents Visitation

    Mother of the child received her contempt paperwork and all of the proof that was sent into court and, I am sure, realizes now that she doesn't have a leg to stand on. So, she sends my husband a text last night offering to let him have his daughter this upcoming week. Only problem is that he always schedules his out of town meetings and appointments for weeks she would not be here, so he will be out of town for half of the week. I know many judges like for you to try to resolve contempt issues before you get back in court, but this is the 3rd time in two year we have had to take her to court for violating an agreement. His argument would be that they both agreed on a calendar at the beginning of the summer which is what a judge asked them to do, she didn't ask to switch weeks ahead of time, she just got angry last week and took his time away but now that she realizes he's taking her to court and she could be in trouble, she is trying to make up for it. Will the judge take that into accountability for her part? I would not think so as a summer plan is a summer plan and you can't just take a week away and then once you are served with papers decide to give it back but I was not sure how he should handle the matter. We obviously cannot get her this week and would much rather the courts decide the makeup week so that we know ahead of time when we will have her and we can make arrangements like we always do

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Refused Non-Custodial Parents Visitation

    Quote Quoting Wildcat2013
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    Mother of the child received her contempt paperwork and all of the proof that was sent into court and, I am sure, realizes now that she doesn't have a leg to stand on. So, she sends my husband a text last night offering to let him have his daughter this upcoming week. Only problem is that he always schedules his out of town meetings and appointments for weeks she would not be here, so he will be out of town for half of the week. I know many judges like for you to try to resolve contempt issues before you get back in court, but this is the 3rd time in two year we have had to take her to court for violating an agreement. His argument would be that they both agreed on a calendar at the beginning of the summer which is what a judge asked them to do, she didn't ask to switch weeks ahead of time, she just got angry last week and took his time away but now that she realizes he's taking her to court and she could be in trouble, she is trying to make up for it. Will the judge take that into accountability for her part? I would not think so as a summer plan is a summer plan and you can't just take a week away and then once you are served with papers decide to give it back but I was not sure how he should handle the matter. We obviously cannot get her this week and would much rather the courts decide the makeup week so that we know ahead of time when we will have her and we can make arrangements like we always do
    It may help her a little that she offered this week...but not much since dad cannot utilize it. However, I am a bit surprised that dad isn't taking at least the amount of time that he actually would be home.

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