My question involves child support in the State of: Missouri
Now, before I get into this, I want to apologize if it turns out a bit lengthy, but I feel I need to paint a complete picture in order for people to understand the situation for what it really is.
I'll start by saying, that I was a teenage father, a statistic. My son was born the summer between my junior and senior year. When I graduated, I turned down a full ride scholarship to the University of Missouri, Columbia (MU) so that I could stay close to my son, work to pay the child support that started when I turned 18, and attend a local community college full time. My child support payments where always paid, not one missed. Living on my own, I needed more income in order to pay my living expenses, but the increase in work was taking its toll on my school work. I decided to get a full time, seemingly good job and drop out of school. Since I was making more money, I would pay the mother additional support on the side, twice a month, when I was picking him up for weekends (the modification couldnt be ordered to up the support for another two years). I did this, because me being as young and dumb as I was, we didnt have (and still dont, yet) a custody agreement or visitation schedule, nor had any of my rights been established, she was keeping him from being able to come over since I was clearly making more money.
After a year or two of this, my employer had a mass lay off and I was on the block. I lost my job, started receiving unemployment, and the child support was still being paid on time, with the additional side money going her way. Roughly 6 months later, she was able to apply for modification of support, and my support amount was raised to $422 a month. By the time they started taking the correct garnishment from my unemployment, I was informed that I was about 2300 bucks behind, so they adjusted my support payment to 525 a month. Now, I realize now that I goofed here by allowing them to change the garnishment themselves and not taking action myself to make sure the right support was paid, but lets continue. The 525 a month payment now went on for the next year and a half, when the unemployment ran out. This was early 2012. At this same time, the mother of my child was going through a nasty divorce with her husband and father of her two younger kids. She had moved into a run down apartment with the three kids (oldest being mine) and had been living solely on my child support, government aid, and money from a part time job she was working (during which time we watched my son and baby sit her other two). Finally, she confided that she was not going to make it financially, because my unemployment had ended and she had no order on the father of the other for child support. So, we let my son, her, and her two other children move in, on the agreement that the child support order stop during my sons months spent in my home.
For 21 months, me and my family support and provided for not only my son, but her and her two other kids. We charged nothing for rent and utilities, toiletries, groceries, even going as far as buying ALL of her kids school supplies, christmas presents, etc, all the while spending about 500 a month to accommodate her and her other kids (taking care of my son was my obligation so i didnt track that). She was unemployed this entire time as she got laid off the month after she moved in. I started school full time and had taken all the grants and loans I could to survive and pay for all of this. We suggested she get support from her ex husband for the other two at one point cause it was making it so we could barely keep a dollar in the bank, but she said "i cant".
In March, she moved her and the kids out and into the house of the man who just fathered her newest child. This baby was born in august of last year, and lived her till she moved out as well, but his father did buy his diapers and formula, so the cost for them didnt change much. So, last month I receive an order for the child support again, for a modification, but that the mother filed for back support for 27 months. It totalled 13,922.70. The mother agreed this was absurd and promised it would be cleared, so me and her submitted proof that my son, and her and the other kids, lived with me (but on her side, she only submitted it saying my son lived with me). Anyways, the credited my debt for 21 months of support and it dropped the balance down to 5060.70. I requested an administrative review for the remaining balance, to show that we went above and beyond that amount when supporting her and her other kids. She also said she was going to sign an affidavit for complete receipt for the remaining balance.
Now, yesterday, my savings account which was holding my student loan money for this coming semester was just emptied out, more than what was in it and is now overdrawn. I contacted a lawyer, he said to get her to fill out the affidavit. Today, she says she changed her mind because she says needs that money. I called the state, and they said I had to request yet another hearing to get my funds replaced, even though I havent even heard back about the one I filled two weeks ago.
I dont know what to do. With my accounts overdrawn, I can even afford to get food or diapers for my 7 month old, not to mention pay my living expenses and tuition that will be due in a month, and school is the only way for ANY of my family, including my son this revolves around, to have a decent quality of life in the future, let alone my source of payments for support. I went above and beyond to help her, and now it seems I have to go to court to prove we saved her x dollars a month that covers the remaining balance, but Im not even sure that is something that can be done. My modification order has started getting paid and will be paid, but the amount they want to add to it to catch up the arrears is double my monthly income (4 times the new order amount).
I know there is a lot I have forgotten, but I am just freaking out at the way she has used us. Any advice would be appreciated....
(my lawyer hasnt called back about what can be done in regards to them freezing my account, guess the guy doesnt work all day fridays)