My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Virginia
My wife and I have been married since 2008. We have a daughter since 10/2010.
Here is the background
I has always been the financial provider. From 2008 to the end of 2011, I work a typical full time job (8AM - 6PM) making about 70K a year. Since 2012, I quit my job to start my own business which allow me to work from home most of the time (and to have more time to spend with my daughter since I love her so much and she will only be young once). My business is a success. I made double more now comparing to my full time job.
My wife worked at a short period of time (about 3 months) after we married then decided to pursuit a college degree (at a local community college). However it has been on and off meaning she took one or two semesters and then stopped the next semester or sometime just dropped the classes in the middle of the semester (and get D or F grade). From 10/2010 to 12/2011, she was a stay at home mom while I worked full time. From 2012, she has attended classes again (and it is on/off). As it is right now, she is in the second semester of the first year in her AS degree (because she had to take some ESL classes before allowing to taking AS degree classes).
So since 2012, I work from home most of the time. I will leave the home to buy merchandise for my business about 4-5 times a month (from 8AM to 5PM or 9PM depending on the situation).
When I am at home, I am the primary caregiver meaning I wake her up, give her breakfast, milk, lunch and dinner, take bath. My wife primarily cooks.
*** On 04/18/2014, my wife went out for a friend birthday party and did not get home until 6AM in the morning. The next day, she did the same thing (went out since the evening until 6AM). I found out she met a new guy and had feeling with him. I asked her to move out which she did on 04/20/2014 until now. She now rent a basement 5 minutes from my home. The guy becomes her boyfriend at this moment.
So since then, my daughter lives with me at our marital home. I take care of her as I have done since 2012 plus doing the cooking as well now. My daughter goes to child care from 9:30AM to 5PM. Now when I have to go out to buy merchandise for my business, I make sure it is within the time my daughter at the child care. My wife will visit her about 1-3 times a week shortly. Every time is about 10 to 30 minutes. About one time a week, we go eat out at a restaurant (my daughter favorite restaurant) together for about one hour.
My wife basic line now is I am the one asking her out so I should take care of my daughter (which I love to do but hate seeing my daughter barely seeing her mom). My wife say once we divorce she will take our daughter and get child support from me (but does not want to take any responsibility now)
Here are my questions and concerns.
1. Given the situation, when going to court, will I likely get the primary custody? Can I assume at least I will have 50/50 custody? I love my daughter and we have been together through this difficult time together so I do not want to lose her.
2. Given my daughter's gender, will it be an issue? My wife keeps saying a judge will not let a girl living with her father since it is better for a girl to live with her mother. I have to disagree.
3. Anything I should do now
Some clarifications
- My wife absolutely loves my daughter. However the way she loves her is something like playing with her, buying clothes for her, dressing her. taking pictures of her but NOT taking care of her (eating, bathing, sleeping etc). Unfortunately she is in love now with her new boyfriend and prefers spend time with him to with my daughter.
- In case you wonders why I can work from home, run the business and still be the primary caregiver. My business is unique. It is an online retail website that sells digital goods (via email). So 80-90% orders will be processed automatically. I do not have to spend much time on running the website. I spend more time to buy the merchandise and convert it to digital. That kind of work does not require me to do it at an exact time. So I can arrange and do it any time I prefer (like 6AM in the morning while my daughter is still sleeping or while my daughter at child care)
I appreciate all the help and feedback. I understand it is a long post and I try to give as much information as I can

