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  1. #1

    Default Both Parents Want Grandparents to Have Custody

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Maine ....Yep its me again. I have a question My daughter in law has admitted to being a IV drug user and can not care for my 7 year old granddaughter.... Her dad my son lives with myself and my husband. he is Bi-polar both parents now want us to have custody of grandchild 7 year old girl..Divorce papers are being filed this week. We are not rich by any means and just can not afford a lawyer..We own our own home and can provide for grand daughter..If both parents wish this for us to have custody how does one go about this. and does the judge say ok if this is what both parents wish then grand parents can have custody? I really need some help for this little girl.we are both fit grandparents .I have her best interest at heart. If and when mom gets into rehab and gets clean she wonders will the judge let her have back custody? Judge will not be told mom is hooked on IV oxycontin.. and other opiates.....Dad my son suffers from anxiety besides bipolar and just doesn't feel he is able to go before a judge and get custodial custody... I have no problem with mom getting her life back in order and getting custody back..but she says shes not ready to yet.. At this point there is no court order regarding my granddaughter..She has been living with us for the past 2 months...Mom takes her maybe one day a week but often calls me to come get her as she is drug sick as she has no money for her fix and is having with drawel symptoms.......

    Does the judge need to know why the parents wish us to have custody or can they just sign papers giving us custody???Mom will be loosing her apartment at the end of the month and has no idea were she will even be living... I'm glad she finally told me the truth I have found help for her rehab that would take her in for a 2 month stay but she says not yet shes not ready..so my hands are tied if shes not ready to get clean then nothing I can do......We don't want to have a big court battle and airing all this dirty laundry..just wish to get it done and have granddaughter settled in a stable home...my son loves her very much but he feels its best that we have custody as does daughter in law.....please andy help would be so appreciated......Thank you

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    Default Re: Both Parents Want Grandparents to Have Custody

    Posting HX is a must

    - - - Updated - - -

    Here's an idea, how about the child just stays in your house while mom is getting herself together. Dad is there, the divorce has not happened, so dad has full rights. You don't need custody, it's just what you have wanted from the beginning. Everyone of your previous threads has led up to worming your way to have custody of the child. The child has 2 parents, make your son get off his useless butt and take on his parenting duties. Bi-Polar does not prevent anyone from having custody or raising their children. What's the issue, after all your son will be in your home and have your helpful loving support, will he not?

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Both Parents Want Grandparents to Have Custody

    Under Maine's statutes,
    Quote Quoting 19-A M.R.S.A. Sec. 1653(2)(B)-(C)
    B. The court may award reasonable rights of contact with a minor child to a 3rd person.

    C. The court may award parental rights and responsibilities with respect to the child to a 3rd person, a suitable society or institution for the care and protection of children or the department, upon a finding that awarding parental rights and responsibilities to either or both parents will place the child in jeopardy as defined in Title 22, section 4002, subsection 6.
    Quote Quoting 22 M.R.S.A. Sec. 4002(6)
    6. Jeopardy to health or welfare or jeopardy. "Jeopardy to health or welfare" or "jeopardy" means serious abuse or neglect, as evidenced by:

    A. Serious harm or threat of serious harm;

    B. Deprivation of adequate food, clothing, shelter, supervision or care or education when the child is at least 7 years of age and has not completed grade 6;

    B-1. Deprivation of necessary health care when the deprivation places the child in danger of serious harm;

    C. Abandonment of the child or absence of any person responsible for the child, which creates a threat of serious harm; or

    D. The end of voluntary placement, when the imminent return of the child to his custodian causes a threat of serious harm.[/indent]
    If the parents both stipulate to facts that satisfy the court that a grant of custody to you meets the definition of jeopardy, the court may grant you custody. However, some parents aren't willing to voluntarily go on the record with that sort of claim about their own abilities, even if it's true. It is generally easier to obtain guardianship than custody, although guardianship would be granted through a separate proceeding and is generally less permanent. For a summary of the guardianship process, read this.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Both Parents Want Grandparents to Have Custody

    Thanks Mr. Knowitall Wasn't sure what way to go. The best and what mom and dad feel is best is to let dad have residental custody with shared legal custody. And Mom have visatation... Your right they do NOT want to air their problems in court...


    Gam Mom doesn't want to get of the drugs yet...Have you seen a addict going through with drawal and a 7 year old having to witness that on a weekly basis. I bet NOT! And when and if Mom gets her act together she can lead a normal life and have primary care of the child again.... There are different symptoms that Bi polar people have and the JURY is still out on its maybe Schizo effecetive disorder...OCD.....Sensory disorder smells that aren't there upset him...So no he isn't able to do it on his own... Just got back from filing the paper work for th divorce....

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    244

    Default Re: Both Parents Want Grandparents to Have Custody

    Quote Quoting gardenandcats
    View Post
    Thanks Mr. Knowitall Wasn't sure what way to go. The best and what mom and dad feel is best is to let dad have residental custody with shared legal custody. And Mom have visatation... Your right they do NOT want to air their problems in court...


    Gam Mom doesn't want to get of the drugs yet...Have you seen a addict going through with drawal and a 7 year old having to witness that on a weekly basis. I bet NOT! And when and if Mom gets her act together she can lead a normal life and have primary care of the child again.... There are different symptoms that Bi polar people have and the JURY is still out on its maybe Schizo effecetive disorder...OCD.....Sensory disorder smells that aren't there upset him...So no he isn't able to do it on his own... Just got back from filing the paper work for th divorce....
    Well you bet wrong, I work in substance abuse in a Behavioral Health Hospital and have been working in the Mental Health Field for over 30 years and most of it has been in substance abuse. I'm not going to get into the Bi-Polar or any other issues that he is not even been diagnosed with yet. You still should not be treating him like he is a child and has no responsibilities in this. He fathered that child, he should have input, not you.

    He lives in your home, so as I already asked, why do you need custody as the grandparents? If he is in your home and he has custody, then your right there to assist him, but that is all you should be doing. You should not being overtaking, you should not be filing legal papers on his behalf.

    Your post was asking to have custody as grandparents, yet your reply to Mr. Knowitall is for dad to have primary custody with shared legal custody. If your son is so incapable as you claim because of all his disorders(ones your giving him as they have not yet been diagnosed), why are earth are you saying he will residential custody and shared legal? Who is that shared legal custody with, is it dad and mom or dad and grandparents? Who's making these decisions you or them, and why are you just getting back from filing divorce paperwork, it's not your divorce.

    Either dad is capable of having residential custody and shared legal custody or he is not. Mom can be a drug addict and have full custody of the child to, being an addict does not have to affect her ability to parent. Funny mom is not capable to have any form of physical custody except visitation as an addict, but dad can have residential custody and share legal custody with all these mental disorders.

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