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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    2

    Default How to Get a Protected Person to Cancel a Restraining Order

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of Virginia:
    Hi folks, I currently have a restraining order against me in VA. The gist is I yelled at my girlfriend on evening, using some choice words, hit a door, & she got scared & called the police. The police came, saw the broken door & off to jail I go.
    A permanent order is in place, my (ex) girlfriend and I have had no communication however, we share a mutual friend who we have been out with since the occurrence. We have not used this friend to communicate to each other but, she has indeed mentioned in conversation that so & so is doing fine. So & so said this, etc. (I assume this is not in violation of the order as we are not passing messages; we just happen to hear info about the other person during the course of conversation). After some reading & soul searching, I realized that even though I never touched my girlfriend, the fact I caused her fear constitutes Domestic Violence & so I began taking a Domestic Violence course. Part of the stipulation of attending this course is they send monthly progress reports to the victim to tell them I am in a course, I am making progress (or not), & keeps them appraised of my address, etc. After hearing I was in this course, my girlfriend began messaging me (note I have not replied to these messages!) basically saying I love you; I didn't want this, I just wanted to scare you; mundane happenings in her life, etc etc.
    Here is my question, can I legally ask my lawyer to contact her lawyer & ask if she is willing to have the protective order dropped? If she is indeed willing to do this, what is the process? I am somewhat hesitant because the order is only for 6 months (4 left) so I certainly don't want to put myself at any risk with the courts thinking I violated the order convincing her to drop it. Also, being that there are only four months left, is it even worth the effort? Could it take longer to go through the courts than to just let the order expire on it's own. Finally, if I make the request & she declines to have the order dropped, can it put me at greater risk.
    Bottom line, I accept accountability for my actions, I want to make reparations, but don't want to jeopardize myself.

    Thanks in advance.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,935

    Default Re: Cancelling Protective Order in Va

    Quote Quoting JeepTJGuy
    View Post
    My question involves restraining orders in the State of Virginia:
    Hi folks, I currently have a restraining order against me in VA. The gist is I yelled at my girlfriend on evening, using some choice words, hit a door, & she got scared & called the police. The police came, saw the broken door & off to jail I go.
    A permanent order is in place, my (ex) girlfriend and I have had no communication however, we share a mutual friend who we have been out with since the occurrence. We have not used this friend to communicate to each other but, she has indeed mentioned in conversation that so & so is doing fine. So & so said this, etc. (I assume this is not in violation of the order as we are not passing messages; we just happen to hear info about the other person during the course of conversation). After some reading & soul searching, I realized that even though I never touched my girlfriend, the fact I caused her fear constitutes Domestic Violence & so I began taking a Domestic Violence course. Part of the stipulation of attending this course is they send monthly progress reports to the victim to tell them I am in a course, I am making progress (or not), & keeps them appraised of my address, etc. After hearing I was in this course, my girlfriend began messaging me (note I have not replied to these messages!) basically saying I love you; I didn't want this, I just wanted to scare you; mundane happenings in her life, etc etc.
    Here is my question, can I legally ask my lawyer to contact her lawyer & ask if she is willing to have the protective order dropped? If she is indeed willing to do this, what is the process? I am somewhat hesitant because the order is only for 6 months (4 left) so I certainly don't want to put myself at any risk with the courts thinking I violated the order convincing her to drop it. Also, being that there are only four months left, is it even worth the effort? Could it take longer to go through the courts than to just let the order expire on it's own. Finally, if I make the request & she declines to have the order dropped, can it put me at greater risk.
    Bottom line, I accept accountability for my actions, I want to make reparations, but don't want to jeopardize myself.

    Thanks in advance.
    I'd say just leave it be and don't contact her.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    17,503

    Default Re: How to Get a Protected Person to Cancel a Restraining Order

    Agree.

    Leave it alone.

    If you and your ex still feel strongly about each other in four months, then make contact.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: How to Get a Protected Person to Cancel a Restraining Order

    Thanks for the replies. This is pretty much what I was thinking but, I will say I do miss her & the heart doesn't think logically
    Thanks again.

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