My question involves adoption law for the State of: California

I had a baby with my ex boyfriend. We broke up when I was 7 weeks pregnant. He repeatedly denied that the baby was his. He was not involved during the pregnancy whatsoever. He is not on the birth certificate. After the baby was born, I bent over backwards to make the baby available to him. He did not even contact me until the baby was 2 weeks old, didn't see the baby until the baby was over a month old, and only visited with him a handful of times. During one of our latest conversations (which happen every month of so when he's been drinking), he didn't even know the baby's DOB. He hasn't paid a dime in child support. No one in his family has met the baby. The baby has never been to his house, and he has never "held him out as his own."

In the mean time, I met someone else and have been involved with him for quite some time. We are both over-planning worry warts. So we want to be prepared to handle paternity/adoption or whatever is best when the time does come. So here are my questions:

1. Step parent adoption was our first thought, but it would be fiscally detrimental to us both to be married (I would lose the scholarship for my son's expensive private day care that I couldn't afford without the scholarship, there is separate property issues with me owning a house and him not, his student loan payments would increase, and our combined incomes would put us in the highest tax bracket). How much more complicated is a second parent adoption in CA? Would two criminal attorneys (honestly, we both have no clue WTF to do) be able to handle it if we put our minds to it? Is it just too complicated? We're smart enough to know that sometimes its just better to hire an expert. But if we do, it might negate the savings of not being married.

2. Would my current BF signing a voluntary declaration of paternity achieve the same result? Would adding him to the Birth Certificate achieve the same result?

3. I don't think my ex qualifies as a presumed parent, but if he does, how does the abandonment argument work? Since our child is just a baby, he obviously can't communicate with the baby directly. So do I wait a full year of no support (in our case, no support since birth)? Or do I have to wait a full year since my ex last called me? Since he has called me, but hasn't specifically asked for visitation, would that not count as "communication" for the purposes of a step parent adoption?

4. My ex and I were not married. He has never welcomed the baby into his home and held the baby out as his own. He has never paid support. So I assume (correctly?) that he is only an alleged parent and not a presumed parent. In that case, do I still have to wait a full year of no support/no contact? Or can me and the current boyfriend (when we get married) initiate proceedings whenever we want?

5. Is there a wait time after my current boyfriend and I get married? Do we have to wait till we've been married for a year (so we should do it ASAP), or can we file paperwork the day after we get married?

6. If my ex is just an alleged parent, how much notice, if any, do I have to give him. The Court info page is pretty vague. I don't know his current address. Just his mom's. Do I even need to notify him at all?

7. If I somehow get my ex to consent to the adoption, or waive notice of further proceedings, how long is the consent valid?

Thanks in advance for any help. I know that's a lot of questions. ANY help is SO appreciated!!!