My question involves paternity law for the State of: Az
22 years ago, while 6 months pregnant with my first child, I met my best friend. After her birth, when she was only a few months old, I was promoted at my job & given a position in which I travelled all over the US. This was how/when I met the biological father of my second child. We were hot & heavy from the very beginning & before I knew it, I was pregnant. His family pressured him to propose & "thinking" it was the right thing to do, I accepted. After a very violent drug & alcohol related incident, I fled with my baby & unborn baby in the middle of the night back to where I was from. I spoke to him via phone a week later when he told me to abort & lose his number. I did make contact with him again once youngest was 2 yrs-old. I asked him to write a letter to youngest explaining himself so I could put it away for when he was old enough & for when he had questions. He wrote saying we loved each other but he can't be the man he deserves as a father & he's sorry & to take care of me. I still have the letter.
Then, 20 years ago my best friend & I married & then he signed the Voluntarily AOP form at our local Health Department knowing our 1 yr old wasn't his biological child as she was a product of rape (We did this for a few reasons: bc of how she was conceived we knew no one was ever gonna come looking for her so there was no father/daughter relationship we were severing but by doing this it gave her a dad and secondly, we didn't want her to ever have to know where she came from; my best friend was black as was my rapist). When we married, I was already 5 months pregnant from a previous relationship (he was white) as I've mentioned above. A few months later my best friend/husband joined the military. Soon after, our son was born; but his time though, since we were married my husbands name automatically went on the birth certificate.
Fast forward 5 years later & we got a divorce. When we discussed filing, I told him I was not putting the kids down as a product of our marriage. He informed me he was still their dad & loved them very much & is the only father they've ever known so I agreed & I listed the children as products of the marriage. After all, he signed paternity for our oldest so she had his last name & was added to the birth cert. & we were already married when our son was born so he too, had his last name & was on the birth cert. We went through successful mediation & came up with an agreement we both signed & became an order. We both separately attended the parenting class required of us & we agreed to the child support calculations (I have the parenting worksheet from the court showing after his support obligation, that left him with $2500 a month). Later, they asked him if he'd been paying since we separated & he said, "no"; therefore, the judge ordered retroactive support back to the date of separation. That alone became a judgment for almost $10k. He didn't fight me on anything, except the divorce, he didn't want one & refused to show up over 10 times so I was finally granted a default divorce, after a year & a half!
During my legal separation, I met someone, fell in love & we had a baby. My ex-husband and fiancé' got along really well & he was very happy for us. He continued to communicate & see the children for the next few years until right about the time my fiancé' & I married & my ex-husband met someone (his now current wife). A few months later I notified my ex we were moving to LA because my mom was facing a life-altering medical diagnosis. He completely understood (he always liked & got along with my mom) & he had my cell & her addy. I didn't hear from him again. Suddenly, child support stopped coming too. His number had changed, too. So, I went through an outside agency that helps enforce a child support order. I was told he'd gotten out of the military & they were trying to find him. After almost 2 years of no payments, the agency contacted me: he was back in the military & my payments resumed. However, now there was a substantial arrearage from all those years of no payments & interest.
In 2005 I got a divorce from my second and last husband and have been a happily single-parent ever since. I've devoted my life and every fiber of my being to these 3 amazing human beings. I made my fair share of mistakes when I was younger and strived super hard to be open with my kids so they'd learn from my mistakes.
Our oldest child graduated from high school but the support order remained the same (he didn't file to have it lowered) until our youngest graduated from high school last summer. Then, the payments continued but not under "current" but under "arrearages". This went on (4 months) until the holidays last year when I suddenly stopped getting support (support is still being taken from his pay by the military but he checked the box requesting the court to hang on to it while the case was being decided so the clearinghouse has it). I immediately looked online and saw he filed a petition to stop IWO. I never was served so I waited to see what would happen next. However, I immediately contacted the Arrearages Dept & paid them to do a computation of our case; it came back he owes almost $50k. Then, it was placed on the inactive calendar & a week before it would've been dismissed he filed a request to terminate IWO & also submitted a letter to the judge stating he doesn't owe any money bc he's been paying for children that aren't his (I had contacted the court & paid for everything he'd been filing over the phone & they emailed it all to me). I filed immediately for a protected address (seriously, my story is long enough, you don't need to me to go into the serious harassment & threats his current wife has been doing to myself & our 2 children for the last few years... not to mention launching a character assault on me everywhere she goes.. online social media, texts, emails, etc) & provided proof of all of it & it was granted. I then responded the only way I was legally allowed to respond to what he had filed... a petition for a hearing along with a brief letter to the judge giving her a copy of the kids birth certs (listing him as dad) along with the Az computation of arrearages (thus disproving his initial filing where he marked the box stating he owes no support, current or back). I didn't want to file for a hearing bc I knew I couldn't go to Az (despite a financial hardship, my youngest is a special needs child with severe medical issues & I'm disabled for 14 brain surgeries myself; that doesn't even begin to also cover the severe anxiety I have from her terrorizing us) but it was my only option. I then immediately file for a request to appear telephonically citing all my reasons I just listed along with proof for every reason. This too, was granted. Then I see a "letter" was filed. It was a few pages of lies (mainly: "been in military close to 20 yrs", "no liens for unpaid child support & there would be if I owed any", "a woman can write in any name she wants on a birth cert & this is what MOM did bc she doesn't know where the real bio fathers reside", "oldest was already born before we married so not of our marriage", "youngest was born of marriage but not mine as I'm black & he's white", "I did what the court ordered & paid bc I had no means to take MOM back to court to fight this blatant paternity fraud", "I could probably turn the tables & ask the court for DNA tests & request MOM pay me back for all I've paid but I knew she didn't know where the bio dads were & I knew the kids needed to be taken care of", "she left the state with the kids & I've had absolutely no contact with MOM or the kids since 2000", "did I & do I wish now that I would have tried to do something about the kids not being my bio kids, yes, but I can't go back, it's over & done with now"). I didn't respond as it was a letter and mainly lies but waited for the hearing date. We were given an hour with a mediator to try to resolve the issues and if not the next 45 minutes would be an evidentiary hearing with the judge. The letter made it clear unless the case would be resolved that day unless under an extreme set of circumstances a new hearing would need to be set. This hearing was just the other day.
I seriously apologize for not being more condensed in my explanation, therefore I'll try to do so now....
The mediator asked if he had paid me directly any money to which he admitted he hadn't. She asked him why does he feel he doesn't owe the money then (did she not read our case file.. or at minimum the last few filings?!) to which he says bc the kids aren't his biological kids. She asks for an explanation & he says, oldest was already born when we married & she was pregnant with the youngest when we married, thus making these kids not his so he should be granted relief from having to pay for these kids. She asks me what I have to say and I said he is their LEGAL dad and I've never stated he is their bio dad. I tell her he signed the AOP ARS 25-812 for our oldest & we were married when youngest was born & that's called "presumption of parentage" ARS 25-814; in doing so, he agreed to all inherent responsibilities. Furthermore, he never stated he wasn't their dad, in any capacity at any time... not during mediation, parenting class, divorce proceedings, documents nor child support hearings...not even to the military (he gets extra money each paycheck for each extra dependent). She asked him if this was true & he said he did sign the oldest's birth cert but he never signed anything for the youngest. I corrected him on what he signed but he said I was wrong... uh, okay. She asked him why he never disputed the kids as being his & he said because he couldn't afford an attorney to try to fight it. The mediator asked me what did I want? I said for him to pay what he owes. Then my ex says he hasn't seen the children or I or spoken to any of us since 2000 to which I let them know is inaccurate. I explained we didn't move until 3 years later & he knew where we were going. The mediator kinda snapped on me & said, "so you denied him visitation?" I said, "excuse me?!?" She said, "you didn't provide visitation?" I immediately let her know per our divorce decree, see our parenting plan & on page 5 it clearly states I have sole legal custody & he is ordered 100% financially responsible for any and all visitation related expenses. There is also no stipulation about permission & moving since he is military, he can't very well "need" my permission to move & we agreed it was only fair to have it that way on both sides. She asked him what he wanted. He said he wants out & if I don't walk away & drop this case for arrearages he is going to go after me with everything he has for paternity fraud & he will get a court order to force me & the kids to have DNA testing & then get a judgement against me to pay back every last red cent. Again, she asks what do I want? Again, I say for him to have to pay his arrearages as child support can't be retroactively modified. However, I am willing to work out a deal with him if he'd like. He said, "hell no" so I said, "Let the judge decide". I was told to call the other number in 20 minutes & the call was over.
I called in & after we were both sworn in, it gets kinda fuzzy for me. The judge said to him, "from what I understand, please correct me if I'm wrong.... you say you don't owe this money because you're not the kids dad". He agrees. She then says the same beginning to me and asks the question....."...you want him to pay you all of these arrearages?" I agree & she asks me why? I tell her because he is their "legal" dad. She asks me how did I come up with that?!?!?!? I once again, explain my reasoning : Voluntarily signed AOP and Presumption of Paternity... and the 20 years he's had to do something about it. It was hard to hear but he asks to address the court & she allows it. He said something about how he filed something last week that will change this case completely regarding the paternity. She asks him what date & he gives her a date. I look it up online on my end & nothings been entered as of yet; the same for her. Therefore, she says whatever he filed I have a right to respond to and since it'll be about deciding paternity (say what?!) that'll make her decision so much easier. She said she is granting me to appear telephonically again & made a new court date with her in TWO MONTHS! My head is still spinning....
I called yesterday & even though it still isn't showing on the docket, it's in a "pending" status, they emailed it to me. I am beyond frustrated. What is it? Again, it's a "letter".
"I request paternity testing be ordered & when it's proven & shown I'm NOT the bio dad of these kids, I request an order be signed to stop the IWO", "I don't wish for repayment unless the court deems it, as the kids needed to be taken care of bc MOM did not know & does not know who the real bio dads are", "I encourage them to seek them out for numerous reasons, I am not their father & they are very aware of this", "Oldest is not my bio kid as MOM was pregnant with oldest when we met & began dating", "she was born before the marriage, not born of the marriage, therefore a paternity test should have been done to determine paternity", " I did not sign any document (birth certificate) stating that I was the father", "MOM added my name to the birth cert. without my knowledge", "MOM doesn't know who the bio dad is, therefore, I, being employed & married to her at the time she added me as being the bio dad, I AM NOT!!", Youngest is not my bio kid as MOM entered into an affair with someone before we were married and conceived youngest", "we did get married while MOM was pregnant, as she told me, that youngest was my child", "I am black & youngest is white with blue eyes, there's no way the youngest can be my bio kid", "again, MOM added my name to the birth cert. without my knowledge", "youngest not my bio kid, was born of the marriage but again, not my bio kid", "when our divorce was final, MOM left the state with new hubby & I've not seen or heard from any of them", "I sought legal advice to get my name cleared as being their bio dad, but was informed that it would be very expensive & I couldn't afford to do anything as I had nothing", "I had to pay almost my entire months pay to two kids that weren't mine", "I had $300 a month to live on being in the military", "My current wife & I decided the kids needed to be taken care of & that it wasn't their fault that their own MOM didn't know & doesn't know who their bio fathers were or are", "we agreed to keep paying for them until emancipation for that reason", "my wife did try to contact the 2 kids on social media, the next day they had removed their accounts completely", "I have done nothing to them; my wife has done nothing to them", "I have NOT been allowed to see the children", "I was never informed of anything that had to do with them, & I never knew where they lived or what they were doing", "I still don't know where they live even after attempts to try to find them to get some kind of resolution to this paternity fraud", "I have served this country in the military for over 20 years", "I've never been in trouble; I don't even have a speeding ticket". "I request & pray you will grant paternity testing in this matter...if no testing can be granted, I request this matter be closed due to: 1) MOM leaving the state without informing me. Again, I have not seen or spoken to the kids since 1999, I was never given the opportunity to have the support modified due to MOM fleeing the area with the kids & insisting on hiding their whereabouts. 2) Overpayment for both kids due to emancipation. Oldest in Jan 2011 & youngest in March of 2013. Again, I just want this stopped. I've paid & overpaid for 2 kids that aren't mine for over 13 years".
I am obviously bothered by the lies and the inconsistency. However, I've kept my emotions out of it. I feel it's okay to vent in here in this forum though. I can't help but feel like his lies in his own letters alone will go to show a lot. Then again, I don't understand why a decision wasn't made yesterday?!!! This case always has been and only should be about one thing.. he filed to stop the IWO affirming all past due child support, arrearages & interest had been paid. I immediately filed with the Clerk to become a part of the official record the Arrears Calculation Report showing a principal & interest balance for a total of almost $50k. Since he never once even made a peep about not being their dad and because he voluntarily signed the AOP on the oldest and because we were married at the time the youngest was born, he is their legal dad. I don't know why this is such a nightmare.
I believe knowledge is power & the only way I can get anyones honest opinions or advice is to give up all these private & graphic details because I want to fight this. These two kids he took on & then left behind when he wifed up are both in college & that's what they use the money for. These kids still love him & feel indebted to him for being such a great & loving dad to them when he was an active physical participant.
ANY advice or would be greatly appreciated, as I am SO confused. I know SO many of you are veterans to this site and really know your stuff. In my own research, I have found the following.... therefore, if all of these Az statutes apply, how and why did this case not get settled the other day and what is next?
Proceedings to establish paternity of a child must be instituted before the child's 18th birthday 25-804
A voluntary acknowledgment of paternity is a determination of paternity and has the same force and effect as a superior court judgment 25-812
An order vacating the determination of paternity operates prospectively only and does not alter the obligation to pay child support arrearages or, unless otherwise ordered by the court, any other amount previously ordered to be paid 25-812
One may challenge a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity established in this state at any time after the sixty day period only on the basis of fraud, duress or material mistake of fact, with the burden of proof on the challenger and under which the legal responsibilities, including child support obligations of any signatory arising from the acknowledgment shall not be suspended during the challenge except for good cause shown. 25-812
A man is presumed to be the father of the child if: 25-814
~He and the mother of the child were married at any time in the ten months immediately preceding the birth or the child is born within ten months
~ A birth certificate is signed by the mother and father of a child born out of wedlock.
~A notarized or witnessed statement is signed by both parents acknowledging paternity or separate substantially similar notarized or witnessed statements are signed by both parents acknowledging paternity.

