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  1. #1

    Default Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle, Please Help

    I know I'm thinking in the mindset of "me" not getting time with him and vice versa. But at the same time I grew up without a father and wish I had more time with one so I think that's where some of my mind set comes from.
    I live in central Florida, where my son was born and raised majority so far. We are both from Northern south Carolina which is about 8 hours driving distance away. The guy she is talking to that is trying to get her to move with him is in Idaho though, further away from any family plus myself.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle, Please Help

    So Mom is also currently in Florida with you? And you're more or less sharing the parenting as of right now?

  3. #3

    Default Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle, Please Help

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    So Mom is also currently in Florida with you? And you're more or less sharing the parenting as of right now?
    Yes she is living with me in Florida for about 7 months now. So our son sees both of us regularly. Again she doesn't know that I know anything at this moment.

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    Quote Quoting llworking
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    Dad, can you give us a timeline on things? I am unclear as to how long mom and the child were in SC, and how long they have been back in FL.
    She lived with me for about 1 1/2 years and then lived in sc for just over a year and has been back in Florida for 7 months now.

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    Quote Quoting aardvarc
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    And and even MORE important question....

    You're in the military. Are you on active duty? Subject to being deployed? If so, you're going to have to realize how unstable that makes you in comparison to mom when asking the court to order one of you to be the primary custodial parent.
    Yes I am active duty military that has potential to deploy, I understand how that can hinder this for me. What I am wanting mainly is time and split decision making. When we were split up the first time she would barely let me see him for a month long and it was only after she had him for almost 3. She said she would only allow me to have him for a month every 3-4 months.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle, Please Help

    Quote Quoting Anonymous.law
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    Yes she is living with me in Florida for about 7 months now. So our son sees both of us regularly. Again she doesn't know that I know anything at this moment.

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    She lived with me for about 1 1/2 years and then lived in sc for just over a year and has been back in Florida for 7 months now.

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    Yes I am active duty military that has potential to deploy, I understand how that can hinder this for me. What I am wanting mainly is time and split decision making. When we were split up the first time she would barely let me see him for a month long and it was only after she had him for almost 3. She said she would only allow me to have him for a month every 3-4 months.
    Dad, realistically if you are deployable its going to be difficult. You may very well temporarily prevent mom from leaving Florida, but if you are ever stationed somewhere else, or get deployed, then that goes out the window. Are you career army?

  5. #5

    Default Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle, Please Help

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    Dad, realistically if you are deployable its going to be difficult. You may very well temporarily prevent mom from leaving Florida, but if you are ever stationed somewhere else, or get deployed, then that goes out the window. Are you career army?
    I am currently in the air force but I am unsure how much longer. I would honestly like to get out and use my gi bill to go back to school full time but I have a few years left until I can do that.

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    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    Ordinarily, you and Mom would stand equal before the court and Mom would have a hard time convincing a court that taking Junior to live out of state would be in his best interests. A 50/50 timeshare just isn't going to happen, so we can take that one off the board completely.

    On paper, your military and deployability status cannot be held against you. And that's great - on paper. The practical reality is that when one parent is deployable and the other isn't, the courts have a tendency to favor the non-military parent simply because having to flip back and forth during a deployment doesn't make for the most stable of environments.

    It's not a wash for either of you at the moment and naturally if you could both work together for the sake of your son it would be much better for all involved. As that doesn't seem to be possible right now, all you can do from this point is speak with a local attorney to discuss your options.
    Thank you for being the first person to say that they cannot hold my military status against me on paper. I would prefer to do 50/50 with split decision making because he is just as much a part of my life as he is hers and he loves both of us equally. I am trying to stick it out as long as possible for the sake of him having both parents around. The one good thing is we can both put on a front and act as if nothing is wrong and be happy, especially around him. The other main concern I have though is money for an attorney, currently I do not have the extra expenses to cover the fees they charge. And I don't know if there are any options that could assist me while I'm in my financial hole

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle, Please Help

    Ordinarily, you and Mom would stand equal before the court and Mom would have a hard time convincing a court that taking Junior to live out of state would be in his best interests. A 50/50 timeshare just isn't going to happen, so we can take that one off the board completely.

    On paper, your military and deployability status cannot be held against you. And that's great - on paper. The practical reality is that when one parent is deployable and the other isn't, the courts have a tendency to favor the non-military parent simply because having to flip back and forth during a deployment doesn't make for the most stable of environments.

    It's not a wash for either of you at the moment and naturally if you could both work together for the sake of your son it would be much better for all involved. As that doesn't seem to be possible right now, all you can do from this point is speak with a local attorney to discuss your options.

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