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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    you need to make it clear she is allowed in only as a very temporary guest and there is no landlord tenant relationship established.

    In fact, I would suggest your lawyer speak with her lawyer and make sure it is clear her being allowed to stay is for this very limited period of time and she agrees to leave after the court hearing.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    10

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    I think my lawyer is actually drawing something up to send to her lawyer, for her to sign. Something to that effect, that it is only temporary, until the final court date. I'm hoping it won't be an issue after my meeting with my lawyer next week anyway. jk, you seem very knowledgeable to this site. I have another question separate from this one that needs to go in another forum, but I'm not sure where to put it. Regarding my ex refusing to take a court ordered drug test. Can you perhaps point me in the right direction? I'm just not exactly sure where it would fit in...

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    Quote Quoting Arkdad68
    View Post
    I think my lawyer is actually drawing something up to send to her lawyer, for her to sign. Something to that effect, that it is only temporary, until the final court date. I'm hoping it won't be an issue after my meeting with my lawyer next week anyway. jk, you seem very knowledgeable to this site. I have another question separate from this one that needs to go in another forum, but I'm not sure where to put it. Regarding my ex refusing to take a court ordered drug test. Can you perhaps point me in the right direction? I'm just not exactly sure where it would fit in...
    Just ask your question on this thread. The volunteers here generally prefer that all questions for the same divorce be posted in the same thread.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    10

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    Ok, that makes it easy. Thank you. The ex was recently ordered to take a hair follicle drug test. This was court ordered. She went to a local testing facility where she lives and submitted to a urine test. I contacted the facility and was told they do offer hair follicle testing. My lawyer is doing the lawyer thing, drawing up another document to submit to the judge. I'm just wondering how that will impact my case. Will it look bad on her? Will it look bad on me that I called the facility? I didn't ask about her, just about the types of drug testing they offer. I know you guys aren't judges, and can't tell me what a judge will do. And I do have a good lawyer. But this is what I do at night... I stare at the ceiling and run through everything happening and second guess every move I make. I have my son right now. Until I picked him up a couple of weekends ago I had only seen him for 10 days in a year. We had made a mutual agreement for me to have him for Thanksgiving, which she backed out on the day before I was supposed to get him. Then at Christmas she told me I could have him only if I bought plane tickets for her adult children to fly out to see her. I agreed, then they decided they didn't want to go see her, so again, I didn't get my son. This time it was court ordered, and she still tried to keep him from me. I called the police with the order in hand and she backed down and gave him to me. I've went as long as 7 weeks without even being allowed to speak to him on the phone. I have numerous texts and emails from her, threatening to not let me talk to him unless I give her XX amount of money for XX reason. I already pay $874 a month in child support, her truck payment, insurance and cell phone bill. I go over all of this again and again, and I think, there's no way she'll get custody. But then I read about similar cases where the father lost. It just drives me nuts. I don't know how the courts look at things. I guess I'm just looking for personal experiences, something to give me hope. She turned me in for child abuse. It was unfounded (a dog jumped on him at the park, little dog, just scratched his leg). CPS never even questioned me about it. She's gone out of her way for a year to keep my son from me. I have pages of emails and texts. Are those admissible into court? But even after all that's happened, and all that she has done...she has had him for a year. Is there any way I will get him back? The school she has him in advised her to seek counseling for him because he was having trouble adjusting to being away from his home. I just got the report from them today. Page upon page of counselor notes saying how he is sad because he misses his dad, and his brothers and his home. (His brothers are her other children, she left them here with their dad). Also a note from a counseling session stated that he doesn't like his mom's new boyfriend, that my son was actually punished by him for singing a bible song. Her boyfriend is an atheist. My son has been raised in a religious home. Oh, my son is autistic (severely, but high functioning), so he really clings to things. He likes bible songs (he loves to sing). When we went to sing one the other night, he had a meltdown. This was before I got the reports from the counselor and realized he was no longer allowed to sing those songs. There's just so much that she's doing that seems so wrong, but is it enough to get custody awarded to me? I just hate this waiting game. I hate not knowing. I hate that my son cries for reasons I don't understand because his mother has uprooted his whole life. He was hardly ever having meltdowns before she left with him, just very rare occasions. Usually at school. So, what does it take for a father to get custody? I've never been in this situation, and I really don't know anyone else who has either. Any one that has any advice, personal experience, anything to keep me from going insane...anything. It will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    1,877

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    Please use paragraphs. My eyes hurt.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting Arkdad68
    View Post
    Ok, that makes it easy. Thank you. The ex was recently ordered to take a hair follicle drug test. This was court ordered. She went to a local testing facility where she lives and submitted to a urine test. I contacted the facility and was told they do offer hair follicle testing. My lawyer is doing the lawyer thing, drawing up another document to submit to the judge. I'm just wondering how that will impact my case. Will it look bad on her? Will it look bad on me that I called the facility? I didn't ask about her, just about the types of drug testing they offer. I know you guys aren't judges, and can't tell me what a judge will do. And I do have a good lawyer. But this is what I do at night... I stare at the ceiling and run through everything happening and second guess every move I make.

    I have my son right now. Until I picked him up a couple of weekends ago I had only seen him for 10 days in a year. We had made a mutual agreement for me to have him for Thanksgiving, which she backed out on the day before I was supposed to get him. Then at Christmas she told me I could have him only if I bought plane tickets for her adult children to fly out to see her. I agreed, then they decided they didn't want to go see her, so again, I didn't get my son. This time it was court ordered, and she still tried to keep him from me. I called the police with the order in hand and she backed down and gave him to me.

    I've went as long as 7 weeks without even being allowed to speak to him on the phone. I have numerous texts and emails from her, threatening to not let me talk to him unless I give her XX amount of money for XX reason. I already pay $874 a month in child support, her truck payment, insurance and cell phone bill. I go over all of this again and again, and I think, there's no way she'll get custody. But then I read about similar cases where the father lost. It just drives me nuts. I don't know how the courts look at things. I guess I'm just looking for personal experiences, something to give me hope.

    She turned me in for child abuse. It was unfounded (a dog jumped on him at the park, little dog, just scratched his leg). CPS never even questioned me about it. She's gone out of her way for a year to keep my son from me. I have pages of emails and texts. Are those admissible into court?

    But even after all that's happened, and all that she has done...she has had him for a year. Is there any way I will get him back?

    The school she has him in advised her to seek counseling for him because he was having trouble adjusting to being away from his home. I just got the report from them today. Page upon page of counselor notes saying how he is sad because he misses his dad, and his brothers and his home. (His brothers are her other children, she left them here with their dad). Also a note from a counseling session stated that he doesn't like his mom's new boyfriend, that my son was actually punished by him for singing a bible song. Her boyfriend is an atheist. My son has been raised in a religious home. Oh, my son is autistic (severely, but high functioning), so he really clings to things. He likes bible songs (he loves to sing). When we went to sing one the other night, he had a meltdown. This was before I got the reports from the counselor and realized he was no longer allowed to sing those songs. There's just so much that she's doing that seems so wrong, but is it enough to get custody awarded to me?

    I just hate this waiting game. I hate not knowing. I hate that my son cries for reasons I don't understand because his mother has uprooted his whole life. He was hardly ever having meltdowns before she left with him, just very rare occasions. Usually at school. So, what does it take for a father to get custody? I've never been in this situation, and I really don't know anyone else who has either. Any one that has any advice, personal experience, anything to keep me from going insane...anything. It will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
    Ok, here are your paragraphs. It really doesn't matter to the court who is male and who is female as far as custody goes. Your problem is that she has status quo (he's been living with her all this time) so it takes quite a bit for the court to uproot the child. You need to just keep documenting everything that is happening, and keeping the court informed. No one can guarantee that you will ever get custody, but doing those things will help to put the odds in your favor. Good luck.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    10

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    Sorry about that. It was late. My brain was working overtime and my fingers can't keep up...

    I've been documenting absolutely everything. I've kept phone logs of every time I've talked to him, and every time I've tried and not been allowed to. And now, every time she talks to him. Every text message and e-mail she has sent, I've kept. I have about 5 three ring binders full of stuff. The big thick ones, not the little one inch ones. I'm very efficient at keeping notes. I probably keep too many really...

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