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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    10

    Default Can My Ex Return to the Marital Home After Separation

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Arkansas

    To make this as short as possible, here's the basics. Wife left a year ago this month to "visit family". She hasn't returned since then (except once for a day). She was in the state of Utah at first, then moved to Colorado to live with her boyfriend (her own admission). She filed for divorce in Utah, I counter filed in Arkansas. Judge in Utah gave her temp. custody. Jurisdiction hearing was put off twice (in Utah). When it finally went to court, Utah declared that Arkansas has jurisdiction. Until this point I had no idea where my son was. I knew they were in CO, and I drove out there once before she got temp. custody and she hid him from me (her oldest son told me they were near Denver). Our son is 8 and had been in school there for most of the year by the time jurisdiction was decided. The judge agreed to let her keep him there to finish the school year.

    School year ended and the judge has ordered visitation for 5 consecutive weeks, which ends 5 days before our final court date. The order also states that although she may have him back 5 days before the court date, she is not to remove him from the state of Arkansas until after the court date. I thought that was a little weird. Has anyone ever heard of this? She doesn't live here...doesn't have a house here...doesn't have friends here anymore, basically she burned all of her bridges. Now she is saying that she will be here five days before the court date to get him back and that she will have the police remove me from my home so she can stay here until it's all final. Can she do this? We did live in the house together, but it is premarital property, and I do have a prenup. Plus, she left it over a year ago. She returned to the state once a few months after she left (while she knew I was out of town), and took a lot of personal property out of the house. Some of the stuff was premarital property, some joint property. But she removed about $10,000 worth of stuff... I have replaced some of these things (like televisions, she took every single one), and I'd really rather not have to replace it all again. I offered to get her a motel room and she declined. Can she really make me leave my house so she can stay in it for 5-7 days? This just doesn't seem right to me... My lawyer is on vacation all next week so I thought I'd get some input elsewhere before I go completely crazy. She's sending me nasty emails every 30 minutes and just generally being a pain. I already have my son, which she tried to prevent. I there anything I can do to stop her from doing this? And does this seem weird to anyone else? Why would the judge give him back to her at the end of the five weeks, only to tell her she can't take him anywhere? The judge is aware of where she is living, knows she doesn't have anywhere to go here. I am fighting for full custody... This whole thing just seems bizarre to me.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    How is the home deeded?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    10

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    My name only. Has a mortgage, all in my name. I've made all payments. Insurance, etc. all in my name. Her name has never been on it.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    1,991

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    Does she have a key? Does she have a court order allowing her to stay there?

    If (Yes,No) call a locksmith tomorrow or replace the locks yourself if you are comfortable with that sort of stuff

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    10

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    She doesn't have keys. After she removed all of the stuff a few months ago I had all locks changed and security system updated. She can't physically get into the house, aside from breaking in I guess, but it would set the alarm off. But would the police actually make me leave my own house? She's saying that because we're still legally married that she has a right to stay here since she'll have my son during that time.... Honestly I wouldn't care if I weren't afraid of her removing more things from the house. I just want to know if that's actually a possibility. Police making me leave I mean...

    - - - Updated - - -

    And no, no court order. Just the order stating that she gets him back 5 days before the court date and can't remove him from the state... No specifics about where she is to stay or anything. The order is very vague, and more than a little confusing to me.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    Quote Quoting Arkdad68
    View Post
    She doesn't have keys. After she removed all of the stuff a few months ago I had all locks changed and security system updated. She can't physically get into the house, aside from breaking in I guess, but it would set the alarm off. But would the police actually make me leave my own house? She's saying that because we're still legally married that she has a right to stay here since she'll have my son during that time.... Honestly I wouldn't care if I weren't afraid of her removing more things from the house. I just want to know if that's actually a possibility. Police making me leave I mean...

    - - - Updated - - -

    And no, no court order. Just the order stating that she gets him back 5 days before the court date and can't remove him from the state... No specifics about where she is to stay or anything. The order is very vague, and more than a little confusing to me.
    You BOTH have equal rights to live in the marital residence until a judge says otherwise. She cannot have the police throw you out, but technically you cannot deny her the right to stay there either unless the sole right to live in the marital home has already been awarded to you as part of the divorce process.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    10

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    Ok, I was afraid of that. That does only apply to her though right? She's bringing her boyfriend, two of her sisters and her mom with her. Do I have to let them all stay here too? I can see this getting nasty in a hurry if that's the case. Could my lawyer file something with the court between now and then to prevent this from happening? I simply don't want all of those people in my house with access to all of my stuff. Perhaps if I pointed out to the court that I had offered to pay for a hotel room? I'm just not comfortable with this at all. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this before? I mean, she's been gone for a year. She abandoned everything here. There is no longer anything of hers in the house. (It's in a storage building on the property.) How can she just come in after that long and act like she can do whatever she wants? This is frustrating.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    Quote Quoting Arkdad68
    View Post
    Ok, I was afraid of that. That does only apply to her though right? She's bringing her boyfriend, two of her sisters and her mom with her. Do I have to let them all stay here too? I can see this getting nasty in a hurry if that's the case. Could my lawyer file something with the court between now and then to prevent this from happening? I simply don't want all of those people in my house with access to all of my stuff. Perhaps if I pointed out to the court that I had offered to pay for a hotel room? I'm just not comfortable with this at all. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this before? I mean, she's been gone for a year. She abandoned everything here. There is no longer anything of hers in the house. (It's in a storage building on the property.) How can she just come in after that long and act like she can do whatever she wants? This is frustrating.
    Talk to your attorney ASAP. There may be something that your attorney could do. I am not sure what, but there may be some kind of emergency motion that could be filed.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    I do not believe she has a right to move into the home but she assuredly does not have a right to make you leave.

    she abandoned the home and established a residence elsewhere. Divorce proceedings have already been instituted with her residence being listed as not only a different address but a different state altogether.


    The the only argument she would have to being able to move back in would be that it is the marital home. Using that argument you would have the same right to reside in the home until a court addressed the issue. I believe her establishing residency elsewhere breaks the claim of it being the marital home: she abandoned the home and her rights to claim it as still the marital home.

    You iu need to get this clarified in the courts though.


    and your son and anything involving your son has absolutely nothing to do with the issue.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stay in My Home

    Quote Quoting jk
    View Post
    I do not believe she has a right to move into the home but she assuredly does not have a right to make you leave.

    she abandoned the home and established a residence elsewhere. Divorce proceedings have already been instituted with her residence being listed as not only a different address but a different state altogether.


    The the only argument she would have to being able to move back in would be that it is the marital home. Using that argument you would have the same right to reside in the home until a court addressed the issue. I believe her establishing residency elsewhere breaks the claim of it being the marital home: she abandoned the home and her rights to claim it as still the marital home.

    You iu need to get this clarified in the courts though.


    and your son and anything involving your son has absolutely nothing to do with the issue.
    There is at least a 50/50 chance that the police will make him let them in...particularly if she has any ID showing that address. I agree that he likely would not get held in contempt or anything if the police do not make him let the in, but that's a risk. He really needs to see what his attorney might be able to do.

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