Psychologist David Fontes noted that when he advised male victims to call local
domestic violence programs for help, his clients found that “either the shelters and
centers never returned their calls, or they were told by the workers that they really don’t
have the services for male victims of domestic violence.”
In those cases when men in
desperate straits showed up at their door for help, Fontes noted that “some of the men felt
they were treated at these shelters and centers more with suspect than respect.”31
Ironically, not only do shelters discriminate against male victims, they also treat female
batterers as victims. In one case a female abuser called wanted to get help with her anger
management problem, but the local domestic violence center “tried to convince her that
she was a victim and not a perpetrator.”32 In a more curious case:
A woman was arrested and ordered out of the house following her assault against
her husband. She was referred to a shelter. Her attorney provided the shelter
counselor with a detailed account of what had transpired: “Mrs. C. grabbed Mr. C.
by his necktie (and) he pushed her away. Mrs. C. then punched his face and her
fingernail cut his neck.” And how did the shelter workers assess the situation in
its records? “Physical abuse” of the woman by her husband.33