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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    5

    Default How Can a Guardian Change the Name of a Minor

    My question involves name change laws in the State of: Louisiana.

    My husband and I have court ordered guardianship of and would love to adopt his 2 year old cousin. He refers to me and my husband as mommy and daddy, my parents, grandparents, inlaws ( his biological great aunt) all as his grandparents. His biological mom is my husbands first cousin, I have a good relationship with her. She sees the baby when it is convenient and on some holidays. She was 16 at the time she had her daughter (which was taken by child services, and then given back, and she still has her). She was also in child services custody while pregnant with my son, and living with my mother in law. She had him at 17.

    We started keeping our little man when he was 2 1/2 months old. Of course with it being family, we saw him at least once a week. As time passed, a day trip would turn into an overnight trip, an overnight trip would turn into the weekend which would eventually turn into the week. A week would turn into two weeks, which would turn into months at a time. The problem? She was still considered his legal parent. This went on until he was 11 months old. My husband, the baby, and myself, along with my family took a trip to Tennessee, he went with her permission for course. She didn't call or text to check on him at all. Her grandmother, who was also her financial support, passed away while we were in Tennessee. She finally figured out she could not care for both children, even with government assistance. She said that we could "have" him. Nothing was done permanently. We tried calling the department of child and family services the entire time. Their reply, "as long as the child is left with someone responsible that can care for him, it isn't abandonment or neglect." It finally took her not filing paperwork to renew his Medicaid to get something done.

    DCFS didn't want a long drawn out process because she didn't fight it, so instead of putting him in foster care, we were given legal guardianship. We obtained legal custody through the state on November 5, 2011. His biological mom would allow us to adopt him in a second. She has no issue with this at all.*What we're having trouble with now is, the convicted felon who is on the birth certificate, but isn't his biological father. He has also been in jail since my son was born, with a brief 2 month stent out but was then put back in on a parole violation. He's in prison until September*because he escaped from his work release program in October of 2012. He came to the first court appearance when the baby was placed with us, but because he was on the run he didn't come to the second one. He was found in our area and made threats against us and the baby. The stress that he cause during this time caused me to have a stress-induced miscarriage. He claims that as soon as he gets out if prison and on his feet, he is going to come after his son. Everyone tells me not to worry, that there isn't a judge on the planet that would give my son back to him, but I can't help but worry. I gave birth to my daughter in September 2013, and I'm concerned about what happens if either of them regain custody. How that will affect my children, myself, our families, and even our friends?*

    DCFS considers the case closed, so our case worker will not get involved or even give me advice on how we should proceed. My husband is a bi-vocational youth minister, I am a stay at home mom and student so we do not have thousands of dollars to spend at the moment. I just need advice on what I need to do.*
    Instead of doing an adoption at the moment, a friend suggested considering a possible name change until we can do an actual adoption.*

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Guardianship of My 2 1/2 Year Old. How Do I Proceed in Changing His Name

    Your friend's suggestion is what is known as a "backdoor adoption" - in other words, it's a sneak-around-the-law method.

    I understand your concerns, but if he wants a chance at being Dad, the court will usually give him a shot. His rights haven't been terminated, and he has standing to file for just about anything.

    I realize this is a delicate one, but I need to gently advise you to not claim the stress of Dad being around caused your miscarriage. I'm not disputing your statement, rather hinting that the court will likely disagree with you if it's mentioned.

    If he does follow through, your family will just have to work it out.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    38,867

    Default Re: Guardianship of My 2 1/2 Year Old. How Do I Proceed in Changing His Name

    Everyone tells me not to worry, that there isn't a judge on the planet that would give my son back to him, but I can't help but worry
    what does your son have to do with the man's child?


    unless of course you are considering his and the mother's child your son. You wouldn't really do that, would you? because he isn't your son.


    I
    instead of doing an adoption at the moment, a friend suggested considering a possible name change until we can do an actual adoption.*
    since you are only guardians, the courts would have no reason to change the child's name. If you ever get to adopt the boy, then you can change his name to whatever you want.


    She sees the baby when it is convenient and on some holidays.
    does she realize you want to remove her as "mom" and take her place? Does she realize she will have absolutely no legal rights to see the child?


    I gave birth to my daughter in September 2013, and I'm concerned about what happens if either of them regain custody.
    why would you be worried about either of them is the mother is so willing to relinquish the child to you to adopt?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    5

    Default Re: Guardianship of My 2 1/2 Year Old. How Do I Proceed in Changing His Name

    does she realize you want to remove her as "mom" and take her place? Does she realize she will have absolutely no legal rights to see the child?


    She has no interest whatsoever in MY son, and yes I do say my son, because I do not want there to be a difference between my son and my daughter. She called me on Mother's Day to wish me a happy Mother's Day, like she has for the past three years. She is perfectly content raising daughters without her son.

    why would you be worried about either of them is the mother is so willing to relinquish the child to you to adopt?[/QUOTE]

    And I'm worried about my children not his bio mom. And yes she's completely on board with whatever I want to do as long as she doesn't take care of him.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Guardianship of My 2 1/2 Year Old. How Do I Proceed in Changing His Name

    The problem is that Mom, legally, has no say over what Dad wants. None whatsoever.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
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    18,340

    Default Re: How Can a Guardian Change the Name of a Minor

    Quote Quoting ktm2008
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    I just need advice on what I need to do.*
    Instead of doing an adoption at the moment, a friend suggested considering a possible name change until we can do an actual adoption.*
    Sorry, but unless you have the money that it takes to litigate this, nothing will change.

    You don't get to adopt without the consent of both parents.

    You don't get to do a name change without the consent of both parents.

    You'll just have to settle for being guardians without changing the child's last name.

    By the way, the reality is that the name doesn't define the child and I think, like most, you want the child to carry your name because of your own emotional needs, and not the child's.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: How Can a Guardian Change the Name of a Minor

    Quote Quoting adjusterjack
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    Sorry, but unless you have the money that it takes to litigate this, nothing will change.

    You don't get to adopt without the consent of both parents, unless the courts involuntarily terminate both parent's rights.

    You don't get to do a name change without the consent of both parents, unless the court involuntarily terminate both parent's rights.

    You'll just have to settle for being guardians without changing the child's last name, unless you have the money to hire an adoption attorney.

    By the way, the reality is that the name doesn't define the child and I think, like most, you want the child to carry your name because of your own emotional needs, and not the child's.
    I added a bit to clarify for the OP. I am also not sure that changing the child's last name is an emotion needs issue. I think that the person who advised them to do that somehow thought it would strengthen their position legally, which of course it will not.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    5

    Default Re: How Can a Guardian Change the Name of a Minor

    First off as far as his biological mother she considers me his mother. Secondly visitation is in my discretion I do not have to let them as per my papers... And no it is not for an emotional need. And maybe saying that he caused my miscarriage is misstating… He broke out of prison and threatened the life of me and my children yes I consider that him causing my , what my OB/GYN called a stress induced miscarriage... I have them until the day that he turns 18 unless the court changes... Also his mother is backing everything 100% her right has not been terminated so that if something does happen she can say she wants that is my husband's cousin not the non-biological birth certificate father.

  9. #9
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: How Can a Guardian Change the Name of a Minor

    Quote Quoting ktm2008
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    First off as far as his biological mother she considers me his mother. Secondly visitation is in my discretion I do not have to let them as per my papers... And no it is not for an emotional need. And maybe saying that he caused my miscarriage is misstating… He broke out of prison and threatened the life of me and my children yes I consider that him causing my , what my OB/GYN called a stress induced miscarriage... I have them until the day that he turns 18 unless the court changes... Also his mother is backing everything 100% her right has not been terminated so that if something does happen she can say she wants that is my husband's cousin not the non-biological birth certificate father.

    Let me be a little more blunt.

    You cannot state that the stress suffered had anything to do with either your miscarriage, or the presence of custody issues. You will be slammed down in a heartbeat.

    You're not understanding the legalities here.

    If Dad - and questioning paternity at this point is NOT going to happen - wants visitation, he WILL be able to file for a specific visitation plan. Mom can't play musical daddies and neither can you.

    Mom is going to have a NO SAY WHATSOEVER in what Dad - LEGAL DAD - wants to do.

    So to summarise? If Dad - the guy on the birth certificate - wants to see his child, he's going to see his child. You need to wrap your head around that.

  10. #10
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    Jan 2006
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    38,867

    Default Re: How Can a Guardian Change the Name of a Minor

    Quote Quoting ktm2008
    View Post
    First off as far as his biological mother she considers me his mother. Secondly visitation is in my discretion I do not have to let them as per my papers... And no it is not for an emotional need. And maybe saying that he caused my miscarriage is misstating… He broke out of prison and threatened the life of me and my children yes I consider that him causing my , what my OB/GYN called a stress induced miscarriage... I have them until the day that he turns 18 unless the court changes... Also his mother is backing everything 100% her right has not been terminated so that if something does happen she can say she wants that is my husband's cousin not the non-biological birth certificate father.
    so, did you report this threat by him you argue caused your miscarriage? If not, don't expect anybody that means anything in this to believe you.



    . Also his mother is backing everything 100% her right has not been terminated so that if something does happen she can say she wants that is my husband's cousin not the non-biological birth certificate father.
    nope. not true. The father's rights are supreme over any other's rights unless he is proven to be a danger to the child or unqualified for some reason. If he falls under such classification, then you should be able to get his rights terminated now.

    Secondly visitation is in my discretion I do not have to let them as per my papers...
    at the moment.

    if either parent goes to court and they are capable of taking care of the child, your control over visitation, let alone custody itself, is in jeopardy. While the courts do a lot of things "in the best interest of the child" and given the child has been with you a considerable amount of time, make no mistake; nothing is absolute.

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