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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    8

    Default Should You Modify Custody After the Parent Moves and Stops Contact

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: oregon
    Trying to make a long story short, my ex husband as of 1/2/14 moved out of state and contacted our daughter on 4/10 to let her know he got a job transfer. That is the last she/we heard from him. We know where he is; however he never bothered to tell our daughter goodbye, nothing. I had to get his address from the courts as he would not tell me.
    We have joint custody with me as residential parent. We were separated since July '13 and he moved 4-5 houses away. He had every wednesday and every other Friday night. He offered for her to see him a couple of Wednesdays and she declined, however he never offered to take advantage of visits on Fridays as he was gone every weekend or had his new friend over. He has been child support so no issues there yet. Paperwork states that he can never force our daughter to see him or spend time. Reason for this is prior to filing, he totally ignored her, stood her up for dinners, school engagements etc. There are alot of hard feelings. With him deciding to transfer and move, should I attempt to go for full legal custody or would it be to my benefit to leave as is. Again, he last contacted her on 4/10 and it is now 5/11. She doesn't want to call or text him or basically have anything to do with him. I try to encourage, but I will not force. Any advice would be helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Ex Moved Out of State, Hasn't Bothered W/Daughter in a Month

    Yes, it might be a good time for custody to be modified.

    1. Daughter has lived with you since January
    2. He lives in a different state which, unless it's a border town, makes it more or less impossible to keep her in the current school district

    These two things constitute an absolute change of circumstance.

    Take a look here: http://courts.oregon.gov/OJD/OSCA/cp...flPacket4.aspx

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Ex Moved Out of State, Hasn't Bothered W/Daughter in a Month

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Yes, it might be a good time for custody to be modified.

    1. Daughter has lived with you since January
    2. He lives in a different state which, unless it's a border town, makes it more or less impossible to keep her in the current school district

    These two things constitute an absolute change of circumstance.

    Take a look here: http://courts.oregon.gov/OJD/OSCA/cp...flPacket4.aspx
    Daughter has lived with her since July 2013. Dad moved out of state in January, but did not inform anyone of the move until April.

    While I agree that she certainly has a change in circumstance, I am wondering if its even necessary for her to file for sole legal custody at this point. Dad appears to be about as disinterested as it gets.

    OP, How old is your child?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Ex Moved Out of State, Hasn't Bothered W/Daughter in a Month

    It's precisely because he isn't interested that brings me to the idea of changing legal custody. If he's going to be absent, she needs to ability to make decisions herself without him putting his boot in just out of "neener neener" reasons.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Ex Moved Out of State, Hasn't Bothered W/Daughter in a Month

    Thanks for the replys/advice. To reiterate, my now ex moved out July 2013 and we were divorced in Jan of 2014. He did call daughter April 10 to let her know he was transferring to neighboring state, but was vague on when. He ended up leaving without telling either of us approximately a week and half later. Again, he never utilized the time he had when he lived 4-5 houses down, never helped with her day to day care as in picking her up from school, taking her to sports activities, nothing. Missed awards assemblies, PT conferences etc. Now that he is out of state and near his farmily, I am concerned that under their influence, he will decide he wants more time etc.. My daughter is 10 has made up her mind she now wants nothing to do with him. He goes through weeks with no more than a text, then leaves w/o telling her goodbye. Pays support, that is all! In no way, shape or form has he been a father since moving out.

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