Felonious Assault by an Ex-Boyfriend

[asj]

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Ohio

My ex boyfriend drinks way too much. I have been working on an exit plan out of the relationship for a while because of the physical violence and the excessive drinking. I told him that I did not want to be around him at any time when he is drinking.

One day he came home from drinking with one of his buddies. I was upset and planning on going to the shelter for the night. I told him that he needed to leave. That I didn't want to be around him when he is drunk. He told me that I was a horrible person, that I never let him do anything, that he is a grown man and should be able to drink at his own home, that I don't know anything about life and that I'm a stupid dumb whore yadda yadda yadda. I then yelled that he needed to go NOW. He spit in my face and said "I'm not going anywhere." So I told him that I was going to call the cops and I ran into the house. He followed me and tried to keep me from shutting the door and locking it so I could call the police. I kept pushing him to try and get him out of the house and he was pushing back. The children where in the house and I was scared. He then overpowered me and pushed me onto the couch. I tried to push him off of me and I knocked his glasses off. He then got enraged and started slapping and punching me with both hands on each side of my face over and over again. I then ended up on the ground and he kicked me and was punching me closed fisted in the back of my head. I turned my head and he punched me right in the face. That's when blood started pouring out of my nose and mouth. I saw white and my body felt very weak. I remember saying "call the squad" right before I passed out. I was then knocked unconscious. I honestly don't know how long I was knocked out for. When I came to, the front door was open and I saw a car drive by the house. I crawled out of the house and started running and screaming help so that they could help me. When I turned around I saw that his vehicle was gone. I'm not sure when he left, but he left me unconscious on the floor. The neighbors came over and called the police and took the children for me. I was sent in an ambulance to the hospital where I was diagnosed with severe injuries enough for them to charge him with felonious assault.

Ok so that's basically what happened. My problem is that he keeps swearing up and down that I hit him first. Seriously... so, where are the nicks and cuts on my hands from where I hit him? Where is his concussion? Anyway, my question is that even if he gets the court to believe that I smacked him after he spit in my face (gosh I kinda wish I did), would he get away with what he did to me? Would I be put in jail? I'm probably not thinking very clearly but I am terrified. I just want to make sure that I know where any angle could go so that I'm not blindsided. I've never been through court before so I don't know what to expect.

Thank you for reading my case.

[llworking]

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Ohio

My ex boyfriend drinks way too much. I have been working on an exit plan out of the relationship for a while because of the physical violence and the excessive drinking. I told him that I did not want to be around him at any time when he is drinking.

One day he came home from drinking with one of his buddies. I was upset and planning on going to the shelter for the night. I told him that he needed to leave. That I didn't want to be around him when he is drunk. He told me that I was a horrible person, that I never let him do anything, that he is a grown man and should be able to drink at his own home, that I don't know anything about life and that I'm a stupid dumb whore yadda yadda yadda. I then yelled that he needed to go NOW. He spit in my face and said "I'm not going anywhere." So I told him that I was going to call the cops and I ran into the house. He followed me and tried to keep me from shutting the door and locking it so I could call the police. I kept pushing him to try and get him out of the house and he was pushing back. The children where in the house and I was scared. He then overpowered me and pushed me onto the couch. I tried to push him off of me and I knocked his glasses off. He then got enraged and started slapping and punching me with both hands on each side of my face over and over again. I then ended up on the ground and he kicked me and was punching me closed fisted in the back of my head. I turned my head and he punched me right in the face. That's when blood started pouring out of my nose and mouth. I saw white and my body felt very weak. I remember saying "call the squad" right before I passed out. I was then knocked unconscious. I honestly don't know how long I was knocked out for. When I came to, the front door was open and I saw a car drive by the house. I crawled out of the house and started running and screaming help so that they could help me. When I turned around I saw that his vehicle was gone. I'm not sure when he left, but he left me unconscious on the floor. The neighbors came over and called the police and took the children for me. I was sent in an ambulance to the hospital where I was diagnosed with severe injuries enough for them to charge him with felonious assault.

Ok so that's basically what happened. My problem is that he keeps swearing up and down that I hit him first. Seriously... so, where are the nicks and cuts on my hands from where I hit him? Where is his concussion? Anyway, my question is that even if he gets the court to believe that I smacked him after he spit in my face (gosh I kinda wish I did), would he get away with what he did to me? Would I be put in jail? I'm probably not thinking very clearly but I am terrified. I just want to make sure that I know where any angle could go so that I'm not blindsided. I've never been through court before so I don't know what to expect.

Thank you for reading my case.

I sincerely doubt that he is going to get anywhere with the "she hit me first" argument. Your injuries were serious a documented, he obviously doesn't have any (other than perhaps busted up knuckles). I sincerely doubt a judge would give him any credibility.

[Nursekd]

I honestly don't know anything about domestic violence laws. But since you had such severe injuries and he didn't, I'm not sure it really matters who threw the first punch. Even if you did hit him, that goes way beyond self defense. Maybe someone experienced with domestic violence can chime in. Regardless of what happned, this relationship is extremely toxic. Please think about that, and what affect it will have on your children. Stay safe.

[Mephis]

Don't worry about what he claims, no reasonable person is going to believe that a purported slap in the face is justification for beating someone unconscious and leaving them for dead. Abusers commonly place the blame of their actions onto the victim in an attempt to justify what they have done.

If you have not already get a copy of the medical records to the investigating law enforcement agency. If this has just recently happened start taking photographs of your injuries with a date & timestamp in order to document them.

If he has been charged it should be a condition of his bond that he have no contact with you, direct or indirect. I would also urge you to seek out a Domestic Violence Restraining Order and get that put in place because it is often easier, for law enforcement, to look up the RO as opposed to trying to look up a bond.
Check to see if there is a Crime Victims Advocate, they may be able to assist or at least have information for local DV shelters and resources.

No one deserves to be abused.
Keep yourself safe.

[flyingron]

Retalliation is not self defense.

[Dogmatique]

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Ohio

My ex boyfriend drinks way too much. I have been working on an exit plan out of the relationship for a while because of the physical violence and the excessive drinking. I told him that I did not want to be around him at any time when he is drinking.

One day he came home from drinking with one of his buddies. I was upset and planning on going to the shelter for the night. I told him that he needed to leave. That I didn't want to be around him when he is drunk. He told me that I was a horrible person, that I never let him do anything, that he is a grown man and should be able to drink at his own home, that I don't know anything about life and that I'm a stupid dumb whore yadda yadda yadda. I then yelled that he needed to go NOW. He spit in my face and said "I'm not going anywhere." So I told him that I was going to call the cops and I ran into the house. He followed me and tried to keep me from shutting the door and locking it so I could call the police. I kept pushing him to try and get him out of the house and he was pushing back. The children where in the house and I was scared. He then overpowered me and pushed me onto the couch. I tried to push him off of me and I knocked his glasses off. He then got enraged and started slapping and punching me with both hands on each side of my face over and over again. I then ended up on the ground and he kicked me and was punching me closed fisted in the back of my head. I turned my head and he punched me right in the face. That's when blood started pouring out of my nose and mouth. I saw white and my body felt very weak. I remember saying "call the squad" right before I passed out. I was then knocked unconscious. I honestly don't know how long I was knocked out for. When I came to, the front door was open and I saw a car drive by the house. I crawled out of the house and started running and screaming help so that they could help me. When I turned around I saw that his vehicle was gone. I'm not sure when he left, but he left me unconscious on the floor. The neighbors came over and called the police and took the children for me. I was sent in an ambulance to the hospital where I was diagnosed with severe injuries enough for them to charge him with felonious assault.

Ok so that's basically what happened. My problem is that he keeps swearing up and down that I hit him first. Seriously... so, where are the nicks and cuts on my hands from where I hit him? Where is his concussion? Anyway, my question is that even if he gets the court to believe that I smacked him after he spit in my face (gosh I kinda wish I did), would he get away with what he did to me? Would I be put in jail? I'm probably not thinking very clearly but I am terrified. I just want to make sure that I know where any angle could go so that I'm not blindsided. I've never been through court before so I don't know what to expect.

Thank you for reading my case.

Honey, do this and do it fast. Get in touch with a DV advocate. http://www.aardvarc.org/ is an incredible resource.

The most important thing at the moment is not the legalities and not the possible consequences - the priority is getting you and the children out of that situation.

I'm sure you don't need to be told this, but he is NOT going to get better - he's going to get worse and if he goes that far over something so minor it's making me very concerned about your wellbeing.

Please stand by - I'm going to nab another poster who is an amazing advocate.

[viol8te]

There is no defense in "she hit me first..." I can guarantee you that. The reality is, he committed a domestic battery and the court will hold him accountable. With the amount of damaged that he caused, the children there to witness, the neighbors, the fact that he knew enough to leave to avaoid a potential arrest, your account of the event and the overwhelming evidence of photos of your injuries, he will probably take a plea rather than go to trial.

Which isn't a bad thing. He may still be charged with a felony rather than a misdemeanor. It may atill be a permanent conviction. You should be eligible for an order of protection with minimal problem. You may even be able to add the children due to the fact of them witnessing the abuse. He will still be ordered to complete a domestic violence program, which will incidentally benefit him and hopefully provide him with tools to better deal with relationships.

In the meantime, expext him to contact you, apologize profusely, swear to you that he will get help on his own. In fact, he may even claim to have found his own program so that you may feel that he's cured. Do not get it confused, he is not going to get better. He is just saying what he hopes you need to hear in order for him to get back in. Stay strong. Ignore him. Focus on you and the kids. Call the police as soon as he contacts you when your order of protection is issued. Be patient and be careful.

[asj]

(Please bare with me if my sentences are sporadic, I'm still dealing with a concussion) Thank you to everyone who has responded.. I do have a TPO, the court granted one for me on my behalf since I wasn't in any condition to appear at the arraignment. Yay. I do not plan on ever trying to get back into a relationship with him. I think once someone almost kills you, it's kind of a done deal. This whole thing is really all that I think about and I keep running in my head what ifs and possibilities. I just don't want to be surprised. His family actually told me that was what he was saying about what happened.

- - - Updated - - -

One more question:
Would the fact that he is a veteran help or hurt his case? To my understanding, Marines are trained in hand to hand combat and how to kill with their hands. Therefore, wouldn't his hands be considered deadly weapons? Just curious.

[Mephis]

I can't really speculate on what might happen in a trial. However if he decides to take the stand and his attorney decides to try and bring in his military service record then they are opening up the door for the prosecution to cross examine and bring up those points you just mentioned.

[aardvarc]

Just to add to the excellent responses....

I do have a TPO, the court granted one for me on my behalf since I wasn't in any condition to appear at the arraignment.

It's pretty common in cases with severe injury for the court to automatically issue a criminal protective order (one where the victim doesn't have to ask for it). But be VERY careful, and remember that a protection order is ONLY a piece of paper. It's ONLY value is (a) that it MIGHT scare someone away from committing more violent acts against you, and (b) if they do, it can mean additional penalties. HOWEVER, about one half of all domestic violence homicides occur AFTER a protection order is issued, because the simple reality is that people are going to do what they WANT to do. Persons in a charged up emotional state (and it's never more emotional than when it involves someone you've been intimate with and don't want to be intimate with any more) generally don't stop to think about that little piece of paper while they're loading their gun or hitting the gas aiming their car at you. Because the time AFTER leaving is SO dangerous, PLEASE make sure that you're working with a local victim's advocate on a personal safety plan. They can also assist you in gaining access to services and programs that you won't be able to find on your own. You can find your local programs here:

http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/states/menu.shtml

You can get a head start on your personal safety plan here:

http://aardvarc.org/dv/plan.shtml

Would the fact that he is a veteran help or hurt his case? To my understanding, Marines are trained in hand to hand combat and how to kill with their hands. Therefore, wouldn't his hands be considered deadly weapons? Just curious.

Yes, that's a possibility. You'll want to make sure that the prosecutor's office is aware of this. You can also check with them about applying for restitution or crime victim compensation regarding any medical expenses you incurred.