My question involves a relationship in the state of:CA
My now husband, when we were not married, cheated on me, lied to me, made a mess of our life.....sadly enough, I took him back and married him. Since he had a history of cheating, lying, secret email accounts, phone numbers, etc., I wrote up a 5 page fidelity agreement that we both signed, dated, and notarized.....It stated what he could and could not do, where he could go and not go, how involved he could get his daughter with our life, etc (ALL FROM THINGS HE HAD PREVIOUSLY DONE). To someone reading this agreement, it might sound as I was a controlling person but no one knows what I endured for 2 years. I realize that I was stupid for taking him back and believing him when he said he would change, my bad- but I really hoped for my happily ever after story.
Long story short, he felt it easier to leave and file for divorce, than to abide by our agreement- although when he signed it, and he said that it didn't matter what I asked him to sign, because he loved me so much and could not live without me and would never do anything but right by us.
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So he left, moved in with his daughter- violation of our agreement, changed his address on some mail- violation of our agreement, changed his mail and icloud username and passwords - violation of our agreement. The agreement stated that if he were to ever break any of the items, that he would have to pay for my rent and utilities for 3 years. Again, he said he would have signed off his blood, as he was so devoted to me that he would do everything right and according to our agreement. The agreement is the only reason that I took him back and the purpose of it was that if he ever started to go off to the side somehow as he did before, that he would stop and if not for his love for me, but for the sake of not breaking the agreement, that he would stop and do the right thing.
so now what?
He says that he has had 5 lawyer look at the agreement and they claim that a judge would laugh at it....I am sure that is not the case, but that is what he claims....
Is our agreement valid? it stipulates items to be or not be done and it has consideration- break it and pay for my rent and utilities for 3 years.
I have 30 days to file a response to his divorce papers and although I know that this is something totally separate, I want some advise......I don't know how to respond but most concerned about the agreement
Last note- what cause him to leave and file - one night just over 2 weeks ago, when he thought I was fast sleep, he did strange sexual things to me...I was wide awake and pretended to be sleep- I was both very frightened of who this person was that I was sleeping next to, and what is he engaging in during the day that made him perform these acts to me and if he had a double life. I move a couple of times and changed positions and each time he went dead still and waited for me to "sleep" again and then he started again....I was too shocked to say anything. In the morning, he leaned to me and made love to me, as we normally did in the mornings and I allowed it to happen because I was sure he would say something about what he did to me. He said nothing. Several times that day I asked him if we had sex the night before, as I was unusually sore in a couple of spots. He just looked me in the face and told me that no, we absolutely did not have sex- I asked an he answered the same at least 4 times. That day when I was at work, he received and deleted an email instantly (even deleted it from his trash folder). It so happens that I saw it as I had his email up on my work computer. When I asked him about it, he started to get angry that I always accuse him and I don't trust him, etc. I reminded him that because he had lied and cheated, we had an agreement that said he cannot delete emails and needs to be transparent. Since he was being so mean, I bought up the sex from the night before - he again denied anything and then I told him that I was in fact awake. He kept denying it until I finally told him that what he did to me was rape. Once I said that word, all of the sudden he recalled having sex with me and now tried to explain that he did bad and that he shouldn't have done that, etc. It the word RAPE that scared him so much that blew up to a fight and him leaving for the night to go to his daughters and then filing papers for divorce 2 days later (two weeks ago exactly)......If I had never said rape, the fight over the email would have blown over and all would be fine.....
despite all this- I want to know about my agreement. I feel betrayed. I took him back after all that crap and he does this....and then files for divorce because it's easier than to be with a single mom and 2 kids.

