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  1. #1
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    Apr 2012
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    Default How to Get Your Spouse to Agree to a No Fault Divorce

    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Virginia

    I'm interested in pursuing a divorce from my husband. It will not be amicable. There are no children. The home we live in (the only real estate owned by either of us) is in my name only and has never been in his name. I owned it before we even met. Short timeline: house was bought in 1993, he moved in in 1998, we married in 2004.

    The main reason for the divorce: husband walked off his job the week after we were married and has not even considered finding another job. Except for a small inheritance from his mother, I've supported the both of us solely from my work income (and, for a short period of time when I was laid off, from my unemployment benefits). I shan't bore you with more details; suffice to say that 10 years of this is enough, vows of "for richer or for poorer" notwithstanding.

    According to VA divorce laws, I don't have any "just cause" to divorce him. He doesn't (and never would) beat me, he hasn't committed adultery and he certainly won't abandon me. My only salvation rests in his agreement to a separation and/or divorce. Which won't happen. I have not yet taken the step of consulting a local divorce lawyer.

    My main concern in all of this is getting him out of "my" home when the time comes. There are few titled assets, and even fewer dollars, to divide.

    Is it possible, in Virginia, to initiate divorce proceedings with lack of "just cause" and force the offending party out of the shared home? I would presume that would not be possible, except, in this instance, VA law recognizes that the house is not marital property (even though it is the marital residence). Is there any chance for a financially and emotionally exhausted spouse to be granted a divorce in VA?

    The simple solution would be for me to move out and claim a no-fault divorce after the requisite year. But I can't afford to maintain both my house and a new residence. I would have to relocate to another state (and give up my job) to move in with family, so that is not an option. Besides, it's MY house (with 10 years left on the mortgage) and I shudder to think of what would happen to it in my absence when the person remaining in the house has no financial stake in keeping it in good repair. I do not want to sell the house, nor do I want to move out; I intend to live there for many more years.

    Thinking further along the divorce process, he'd probably demand alimony. But that's another bridge I'll have to cross when (if) the time comes.

    Any help or advice is greatly appreciated. (Disclaimer: Yes, I acknowledge that this monster is of my own making. Now I need to find out if it's possible to make it go away.)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: How Do I Force a No-Fault Divorce on an Spouse Not Receptive to Separation

    Quote Quoting Icarus7AC
    View Post
    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Virginia

    I'm interested in pursuing a divorce from my husband. It will not be amicable. There are no children. The home we live in (the only real estate owned by either of us) is in my name only and has never been in his name. I owned it before we even met. Short timeline: house was bought in 1993, he moved in in 1998, we married in 2004.

    The main reason for the divorce: husband walked off his job the week after we were married and has not even considered finding another job. Except for a small inheritance from his mother, I've supported the both of us solely from my work income (and, for a short period of time when I was laid off, from my unemployment benefits). I shan't bore you with more details; suffice to say that 10 years of this is enough, vows of "for richer or for poorer" notwithstanding.

    According to VA divorce laws, I don't have any "just cause" to divorce him. He doesn't (and never would) beat me, he hasn't committed adultery and he certainly won't abandon me. My only salvation rests in his agreement to a separation and/or divorce. Which won't happen. I have not yet taken the step of consulting a local divorce lawyer.

    My main concern in all of this is getting him out of "my" home when the time comes. There are few titled assets, and even fewer dollars, to divide.

    Is it possible, in Virginia, to initiate divorce proceedings with lack of "just cause" and force the offending party out of the shared home? I would presume that would not be possible, except, in this instance, VA law recognizes that the house is not marital property (even though it is the marital residence). Is there any chance for a financially and emotionally exhausted spouse to be granted a divorce in VA?

    The simple solution would be for me to move out and claim a no-fault divorce after the requisite year. But I can't afford to maintain both my house and a new residence. I would have to relocate to another state (and give up my job) to move in with family, so that is not an option. Besides, it's MY house (with 10 years left on the mortgage) and I shudder to think of what would happen to it in my absence when the person remaining in the house has no financial stake in keeping it in good repair. I do not want to sell the house, nor do I want to move out; I intend to live there for many more years.

    Thinking further along the divorce process, he'd probably demand alimony. But that's another bridge I'll have to cross when (if) the time comes.

    Any help or advice is greatly appreciated. (Disclaimer: Yes, I acknowledge that this monster is of my own making. Now I need to find out if it's possible to make it go away.)
    I think that you should get a consult with an actual divorce attorney in VA. What does he do with himself all day if he is not working?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: How Do I Force a No-Fault Divorce on an Spouse Not Receptive to Separation

    What you've discovered so far is correct - you either wait 6 months (if there are no children and you both agree to the separation) or 1 year, or you try to establish cause.

    I'm not seeing any way around this.

  4. #4
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    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: How Do I Force a No-Fault Divorce on an Spouse Not Receptive to Separation

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    What you've discovered so far is correct - you either wait 6 months (if there are no children and you both agree to the separation) or 1 year, or you try to establish cause.

    I'm not seeing any way around this.
    I am thinking more along the lines of making him WANT to leave and to find someone else to mooch from, without doing anything illegal.

  5. #5
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    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: How Do I Force a No-Fault Divorce on an Spouse Not Receptive to Separation

    I know you're not intending for it to be an insult, L, but not having a job isn't always a case of lazy-itis.

    Take me.

    Not working. In a catch 22 situation because despite a worsening of physical disease, I don't have enough quarters to qualify for SSDI, and I can't get SSI because our household income is *just* (and I mean *just*) above the income limits. Of course I could feasibly enforce the I-864, but given that CrazyEx is..well...crazy and on disability himself, that's going to mean exactly nothing in realistic terms.

    I heavily doubt that this is the case for the OP's soon to be ex, but yeah.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: How Do I Force a No-Fault Divorce on an Spouse Not Receptive to Separation

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    I know you're not intending for it to be an insult, L, but not having a job isn't always a case of lazy-itis.

    Take me.

    Not working. In a catch 22 situation because despite a worsening of physical disease, I don't have enough quarters to qualify for SSDI, and I can't get SSI because our household income is *just* (and I mean *just*) above the income limits. Of course I could feasibly enforce the I-864, but given that CrazyEx is..well...crazy and on disability himself, that's going to mean exactly nothing in realistic terms.

    I heavily doubt that this is the case for the OP's soon to be ex, but yeah.
    Oh I didn't mean anything like that. The OP mentioned nothing about health or disability issues therefore I did not address that. That is also part of why I asked what he does with his time...that might also be a gauge of what his capabilities are.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: How Do I Force a No-Fault Divorce on an Spouse Not Receptive to Separation

    I know

    I think you and I have had our share of deadbeats (even if they're from forums) over the years!

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