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  1. #1

    Default How to End Support Without Changing Shared Custody

    My question involves child support in the State of: New York

    I have 50-50 shared custody with my ex. We had split the week 50-50. He just turned 18. 2 months ago, he asked me to file an urgent motion for me to get full custody. The judge rejected the show cause to have it heard quickly and adjourned it until the end of this month, after he would be 18. After that appearance, his mother said he did not have to go back to her house if he did not want to. I withdrew the motion because I did not want the court appointed attorney for my son to start running up legal bills.

    He has not been to his mother's house since 2 months ago, and has only gone out to eat with her 3 times. He wants to remain with me full time. His brother moved in full time when he was 16, but I continued to pay child support until he was 19 because the agreement says child support ends if the child "establishes a residence away from the mother." I did not go to court. I just told her I was stopping his share and adjusted according to the NY percentages. She said it was a nice thing to do, but no other objections.

    Now I want to stop child support for the 18 year old. She now has an attorney who has implied that she may sue me for back child support on my oldest, so I assume I should do this through family court.

    Since the agreement says it stops if he establishes a permanent residence away from his mother, and he will tell the judge that he does not want to live with his mother, anymore, can I simply file a motion to end child support usung that clause as the reason, or must I also request a change of custody?

    To me, it would seem like I could just stop paying because the agreement is a court order and it states that child support ends. I do not undersand why I should need to go to court for permission to COMPLY with the agreement. Why not just stop paying and have them take me to court and try to say why child support does not end as statee in the agreement. (Do people go to court when the child is 21 to ask permission to stop paying if the agreement says it stops at 21???)

    My ex and her attorney have a long history of filing motions in order to waste money- sometimes filing a motion, having me respond and then withdraw it.

    Next due date is May 1 so I want to do this immediately.

    Thanks,

    Mykidsdad

  2. #2
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    Default Re: How to End Support Without Changing Shared Custody

    From what you say, your ex- has a lawyer and is playing a pretty sleazy game ("Even though I know you had custody of our eldest once he turned 16, you didn't change the custody order so I can go after you for two years of arrears if you try to end support for our youngest") and she has a lawyer who is apparently willing to help her do exactly that. Personally, I would (a) lawyer up, myself, and (b) try to work out some sort of consent order to tidy things up.

    When a modification of support is predicated on a change of custody, the court is not going to terminate child support if the court is told that the custodial situation is unchanged. A motion to terminate support based upon your son's emancipation ("establish[ing] a residence away from the mother") would also require proof that he no longer lives with the mother. You can discuss with your lawyer whether that clause explicitly or implicitly requires that he also be free from parental support.

  3. #3

    Default Re: How to End Support Without Changing Shared Custody

    I will speak with a lawyer as you advised. Until that time, since the agreement also says that when the child attends college away from home, "The father can deduct from child support, dollar for dollar the amount he pays for room and board" at the college. Do I need the judge to let me deduct the dollar per dollar? (Our agreement says we each pay 50% of tuition and 50% of room and board with a SUNY cap- and he is going to a SUNY school). He is entering college shortly.

    Thanks.

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