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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
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    12

    Default How to Keep the Children Away From My Ex's Drug Using Girlfriend

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: IL

    Hi. I posted once a while back about a rough relationship with my sons father and his girlfriend. After that post things got worse with the girlfriend. Last fall my ex finally split with her for the umpteenth time, which I was hopeful would be the last. My ex and his girlfriend have a daughter together who is 2. A few months after they split my ex gained custoday of their daughter. The daycare their daughter went to found her head to be severely infested with lice, along with ringworm on her chest. They called DCFS who then unsuccessfully attempted to contact the mother. When she was eventually found, she was reportedly incoherent. From a search of public records it looks as if my ex filed an EOP and was then granted custody for 2 years. I'm not sure of the legalities, only what my ex has told me.
    At that time my ex confided in me that within the last year of their relationship, his ex girlfriend had gotten into drugs and was slowly spiraling out of control. He said she was lying, cheating and stealing. I know of 2 occasions where she was so sick she ended up in the emergency room (unknown for sure what the cause). She had guardianship of her 2 nephews which she lost. They were taken to a foster home in another town. She has an older daughter with someone else and I am unsure what happened with her.
    My ex and I have a 4 year old son together. Now when my ex split with this girl, things between us got tremendously better. He even told me about how much our son had changed when in his care. He said he became more outgoing and social and actually seemed like he was enjoying the time with his father. It's a night and day difference.
    Last night my ex came to pick up our son for his weekend visit and he was accompanied by his ex girlfriend. He informed me they are "working things out". This left me shocked and terrified. My ex has assured me she has put her drug using ways behind her (just a couple weeks ago), however she has proven herself to be a very untrustworthy person. It's only a matter of time before my ex moves back into the same home they once shared and our lives return to the crap they once were.
    I can't trust my ex to protect my son. He has left him alone week after week with a drug user that couldn't even take care of herself. He has fought with me over this girl, he has defended her time and time again. His ex girlfriend (another girl whom he has 3 older kids with) took away his visitations with his 3 kids due to the situation with the girlfriend. They don't have a set court ordered visitation and he didn't fight it so it was easy for her. I, however, don't have that option as my ex has court ordered vistiontion EOW and one evening a week.

    Is there anything, absolutely anything, I can do to completely keep his girlfriend away from our son, or even not allow him unsupervised with her? I will be contacting my lawyer first thing Monday, but wanted as much info as I can get. What are my options and what will I need to help me? Keep in mind, my intentions are not to take away visits from my ex, but solely to keep my son away from someone who clearly is unstable. My thought is if she can't be trusted through the courts to care for her own child or nephews, how can she be trusted with someone else's child? Please help, I'll take any and all advice. I want my son safe and happy. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: How to Keep the Children Away From My Ex's Drug Using Girlfriend

    Generally you're going to require proof that she's a danger to your child.

    The court trusts both of you to keep the child safe; they'll generally give the parent (in this case, Dad) the benefit of the doubt when there's no proof.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: How to Keep the Children Away From My Ex's Drug Using Girlfriend

    Thanks for your response. I don't know have much proof to go on, just word of mouth mostly. I am hoping my lawyer is able to look further into my ex's case with his daughter who he gained custody of. I am also going to call DCFS and see what advice I can get on a situation such as this. I am hoping they can give me some insight on the case with my ex's daughter, such as the findings and if the mother/my ex's girlfriend is allowed to have her child unsupervised. I'm not sure how much info they can provide me, but it won't hurt to call.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    RTR/WDE
    Posts
    1,724

    Default Re: How to Keep the Children Away From My Ex's Drug Using Girlfriend

    DCFS does not give legal counsel.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: How to Keep the Children Away From My Ex's Drug Using Girlfriend

    The only things which matter is if she has a proven history of abuse.

    Honestly? You're reaching, unfortunately. Word of mouth means nothing, and there are many factors to consider.

    It's very unusual for custody to be granted for a set period of time. Custody is always fluid - it can always be modified if circumstances warrant.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: How to Keep the Children Away From My Ex's Drug Using Girlfriend

    I don't want legal counsel from DCFS, I just want info and advice on what would warrant them stepping in and if the person caring for my child is even allowed to care for her own child.

    Maybe I am reaching. And I know word of mouth is not enough. I guess I'm not one to think I may fail so might as well give up now.

    Thanks for your responses.

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