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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    2

    Default Absent dad now wants joint custody and summer months in Maine

    Hi I desperately need some help or advice.. my ex just served me with papers taking me back to modify a court ruling. He has not seen his daughter in 3 1/2 years and all of a sudden now wants joint custody, summer months, he lives in GA I live in ME, and no child support for the time she is with him. He moved out of state after he was released from jail. He was charged with domestic abuse, negligence and endangerment of a child among a few others. The courts gave me sole parental rights and responsibility and he was only able to see his daughter after extensive counseling and her and his counselor AGREE and then start with visitation. Well we can not have contact as a PFA order and i have no idea if he has done his counseling. his now fiance, of 7 months or so, sent me a letter wanting to takle her for 10 days..hello! ( plus his fiance has 2 children that live in ME she lives in GA and doesnt have custody of her children!!) she hasnt seen him in years and now he wants to just take her...I dont think so, plus it was her firast week of kindergarten. Also he has not paid child support as he has been ordered, recently I have been receiving a few small amounts and the only time he sends anything is when we go to court and within 3 weeks it stops again! What are my rights and what can I and should I do?? Plus his family is very negative and its all my fault that he abused us...I dont want her subject to that...I have never once spoke ill about her father. She has asked about him 6 times in 3 1/2 years......

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    46

    Default Re: Help!! Absent dad now wants joint custody and summer months! ME

    I seriously doubt the father would be able to get joint custody. The courts will most definitely give him partial custody. as long as he has never done anything to harm the child there is nothing that can be used against him that I see. He can always claim he moved to GA for work. By the way if you have joint custody there will be no child support at all.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    2

    Talking Re: Absent dad now wants joint custody and summer months in Maine

    Thank you for your advice,
    A few more things....he was charged with endangerment of a child ( the child we share) it was documented that he left her home alone twice when she was 18 months old and that he was chasing me at high speeds and slamming into the back of my car with her in his vehicle, along with other things she has seen done in front of her. He claimed he moved to GA for work and was not stable and in the right frame of mind to even see his daughter. He lives in a dreamworld, works under the table, the smooth talking type of guy. Cant be responsible for himself and thats what scares me! Its her best interest I have in mind and from I saw in the time we were together..he would not make a fit parent. Is this something i can handle on my own with all documented court papers or does it sound like i need a lawyer? I really can not afford one. Thank you for your time it is greatly appreciated!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    46

    Default Re: Absent dad now wants joint custody and summer months in Maine

    was he convicted of the charges? I would get a lawyer. I am living proof that people can change. I didn't used to be a fit parent by my own admission. I have made a complete 180 in my life over the years and I now consider myself to be one of the best fathers you can find.I am not saying he changed, I am just sayng it is possible. I would definitely fight to keep her with you and away from that creep. Try to get legal aid, call the local courthouse they can point you in the right direction.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    46

    Default Re: Absent dad now wants joint custody and summer months in Maine

    this is mike's wife. i had basically the same problems with my x-husband. as long as you have a pfa he cannot be near you, court order violation. if the pfa includes the childs name and is still valid he can't have contact with her it is a direct violation of a court order also. my x-tried the same thing after my son was 6 years old and he still got partial physical custody and joint legal because he never hit my child although he threw me accross rooms and punched me with him in my arms and more it was still not enough to keep him away. it wasn't soley done to my son. the only difference i see is your x has endangerment of a child and neglect, social services or what we know as cys here in pa would be someone who could inter cept to help keep him away from her due to his criminal background. i would get a lawyer, i believe you have enough with those two convictions to stop him from seeing her and to remain with full custody but it has to be something that is brought up in court to be able to use it. however if for some crazy reason they would allow him you should be able to fight for supervised visits, and request that he show proof he completed those courses or they enforce that he still take them if he hasn't. you may also request for the best intrest of the child if he does get her to have him worked into her life since she doesn't know him. like a perimid working up to those over nights and such gradulely but that might be hard since you are in 2 different states make sure at least 6mths before an over night. you might be able to use the girlfriends background against him to since she will be liveing with him or around your daughter also, i have done that to and they have allowed it.

    childsupport is not a right to see or not to see a child but if he is behind in it it will look bad on him the court may take that into consideration on a reflect of his parenting though. like if he is say $2,000 behind then how will he support his child if she is with him, that kind of thing. if it is court ordered anytime my x is behind for a reasonable about i can enforce it and have him thrown in jail for it but he pays $500 a month so it would be kinda dumb for me to. while he is in there that still is added up he is still responsible. if he doesn't pay it or she is with him he still has to provide it for her weather you have full custody or primary physical. the only way he would not is if you have joint custoday with joint you both have shared time so there would be no support to either. the only other way would be he wouldn't have to pay it is if it was not court ordered or depending on his income and what domestics relations would say he should pay.

    sorry this is long i hope the info will help you more.
    mary

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