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  1. #1

    Default Removing a Protective Order Against My Boyfriend

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: California

    I need help removing a restraining order on my boyfriend. We had a moment of domestic violence.
    He hit me, I called the cops, he got arrested, bailed out in 2 days, then I file for a temporarily restraining
    Order. It got accepted until our hearing on the 19th of this month. Problem is I don't want to wait. I want
    To remove the restraining order. I've already went to the court and filled out a form to remove it. The judge
    Did not see me but she denied my request. Is there anything I can do to remove it before the hearing?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    California
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    20,594

    Default Re: Removing a Restraining Order

    No. Only a judge can remove a TRO. So, you'll have to wait until a court is willing to hear it. And, since most DV victims recant and forgive their abusers, the judge will likely wait until the 19th to hear what you have to say. The court might still issue the order, but make it a "play nice" order (i.e. peaceful contact). And, when his DV case goes, the court might also place a criminal protective order that prohibits contact or allows only peaceful contact - who knows?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
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    4,494

    Default Re: Removing a Restraining Order

    If he hit you then there should also be a criminal restraining order. Even if you file a civil restraining order, once he goes to court on the DV charges, they'll slap him with another one on top of the one you filed and you're NOT going to get that one removed because it will be the state issuing it.

    The courts have a thing for protecting you from yourself because time after time they see a man hit a woman, the woman lifting the restraining order and then he beats her up again or kills her.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
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    81

    Default Re: Removing a Restraining Order

    Quote Quoting CourtClerk
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    If he hit you then there should also be a criminal restraining order. Even if you file a civil restraining order, once he goes to court on the DV charges, they'll slap him with another one on top of the one you filed and you're NOT going to get that one removed because it will be the state issuing it.

    The courts have a thing for protecting you from yourself because time after time they see a man hit a woman, the woman lifting the restraining order and then he beats her up again or kills her.
    The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. Just because someone committed domestic violence once does not necessarily mean that an individual will commit domestic violence again. The probability of domestic violence occurring again is either 0% or 100%. Regardless, the most important thing a person can take away from domestic violence is learning self-defense, because one cannot know when danger will present itself. More than likely if the DA is pressing charges for the state, then one could hope there will not be a conviction. You can eventually lift the restraining order that you placed on the respondent/defendant. However, a criminal protective order may not be so easily lifted.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
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    20,594

    Default Re: Removing a Restraining Order

    Quote Quoting tophat
    View Post
    Just because someone committed domestic violence once does not necessarily mean that an individual will commit domestic violence again.
    Statistically, yeah, he will. And, in most cases reported to the police, the battery is NOT the first instance of physical violence, though it may be the first time it is reported.

    And the reason the courts often act to protect the victim is that the dynamic of DV victimology is such that some 75% of victims will recant or change their story in order to protect their abuser, and many will risk jail for perjury or charges of making a false police report in order to protect their abuser - a sacrifice rarely ever made by the abuser on behalf of their victim (most will stand idly by and selfishly allow their victim to take the fall).

    Regardless, the most important thing a person can take away from domestic violence is learning self-defense,
    When you come to understand what domestic violence actually is, you will learn that self-defense is not likely to help. Many victims do not raise a hand to protect themselves, and even physically strong and capable women are victims. DV can be as much about the psychology of dominance as about the physical aspect.

    More than likely if the DA is pressing charges for the state, then one could hope there will not be a conviction.
    That's what the DA does - pursues criminal charges on behalf of the people of the state. And, in the case of DV, if it occurred, I would hope there is a conviction!

    However, a criminal protective order may not be so easily lifted.
    Correct.

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