My question involves restraining orders in the State of: Ohio
Such a wealth of information and guidance you provide here. This site is a great find! Thanks!
I'm vaguely familiar with CPO's, TPO's and such, but I'm ignorant of some nuances of situations where there is the potential for something tragic to occur.
Current GF of nearly a year has extricated herself from a 10 year non-spousal cohabiting situation that included emotional and physical abuse. 2 children are involved, but have not been a part of any abuse. Only the mother.
August 2013 GF obtained a CPO against the ex, and order stated: "...for reasons we believe the petitioner is and has been a past victim of domestic violence and abuse..." (based on previous CPO's filed) and indicated presently "behavior tantamount to stalking and menacing which necessitates this order.." You get the gist of it. He's apparently had CPO's filed, enforced, then expired on a couple of occasions. She's presently protected until August 2014.
* Never married
* She has sole custody
* He has visitation 2/days a week and then alternating weekends.
* Only communicate via Family Wizard.
* He's permitted to visit children during school hours, stop by church Daycare, attend extracurricular events, as long as he remains 15 feet away from her and say nothing other than "...a cordial hello"
I've never heard of such an arrangement, and consider this to be a liberal magistrate, but I can see how one wouldn't want to create a situation where there would be limited access to the children during extra-curricular. I'm trying to be open-minded here, I guess.
Since CPO has been put in place, he has:
A. Sent representatives to drop things in her mailbox, unsolicited. Response via Family Wizard: Who do you think you are? People can come to your house if they want. I supposed since we "violated" your mailbox, it had been better if we threw the things on your lawn. Get over yourself! Is this a violation/contempt?
B. Showed up in the wee hours of the morning to drop off things and leave messages on doorstop, unsolicited. Is this a violation/contempt? Response via Family Wizard: This whole thing is ridiculous. I don't care about your CPO or your broken down house Is this a violation/contempt?
C. Showed up with a moving truck to pick up items she agreed to give him, but only if he sent 3rd parties, per an arrangement with an attorney. Is this a violation/contempt? Response via Family Wizard: "My other buddies couldn't make it, and so I had to find another way to do it. Get over yourself with this BS CPO" Is this a violation/contempt?
D. Threatened to kick my ass (via Family Wizard) if he ever found out I spanked his children. I never have and will spank anyone's children. I don't believe in that, but SHE does and HE doesn't, which was apparently an issue between them when they were together. If they become my step-children, maybe. Big IF, here. Is this a violation/contempt?
It's my opinion that her passive past nature has him thinking that she's till under his rule, because he regularly provokes, insults, demeans, and belittles her via Family Wizard.
We did try to get him served for contempt, but he kept dodging service. The magistrate was like "..of course you do realize what's going on here, he's not fooling anybody, but I am unable to rule on anything without proof of him being served". His neighbors did say that he was at home a couple of times the Sheriff showed up.
It's my understanding though that you don't have to answer the door or accept service if you don't want, so apparently that's what he did.
My objective is not to come here and characterize this person, because I'm certain it will be considered as bias, but her ex is bad news. His past behaviors (arrests, CPO's, rejection of authority, and blatant contempt of CPO) have me concerned.
So for example, we WERE to get married..he would not be permitted to my house, on my property, nor is he of the character of people that I'd associate with unless I were doing so in some sort of religious missionary ministering (trying not to bring religion here) capacity. He's an unrepentant abusive man, with extremely poor boundaries and lack of empathy and respect for authority, the law, and people. Whether he'd try and kill this woman, I'm not sure, but I do consider him dangerous - only because of his lack or remorse for past deeds and brazen attitude and behavior now - which may not mean much legally at this time.
I'm not in fear, personally, though I had to testify in the last CPO hearing because I witnessed some very distressing behaviors on his part. It's touchy because physically I would destroy this man, but I'm in love with this woman, and I'd never want these precious little girls to look at me and be like "Papi beat up our Daddy". Not to mention it's ungodly and unseemly to be fighting people at my age.
Part of me is considering bouncing, but..you know...being in love and junk. These girls need a godly upright man in their life, not this emotionally arrested, intellectually dull and spiritual commoner as their only positive male role model. I don't want to be their Dad, just help their mom guide them into a life of fullness and righteousness.
Please forgive me if any of my statements above seem unwarranted and petty...I'm not an attorney.
I'd like to see her get the CPO extended to another couple of years..or at least until after/if we got married. I'd also like to have any and all communication done via Family Wizard indefinitely.
Visitation is fine when he decides to pick them up. He recently decided he didn't want to be bothered...for a while. Up til this week, he hadn't seen the girls since Thanksgiving. He said until she agrees to get his child support reduced, then he'll get the girls whenever he could unless she and (me) wanted to just take over, and he'll move out of the state because this whole thing is BS.
I suppose after we married, I'd be more in a legal and appropriate position to deal with things on her behalf. Right now, I'm just the helpless clueless boyfriend trying not to get to deeply involved in all this business as I'm not her husband.
She calls him the village idiot who picks fights in bars with the biggest guy and ends up laid out on the floor. I have issues with such characterizations because his behavior is more grave and serious than that, I believe she's coped with it by minimizing it all these years. He's going to get himself and someone hurt, or killed.
Thoughts? (About possible contempt) This is long...sorry.
Thanks!

