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  1. #1

    Exclamation Changing a Custody Order Based on the Other Parent's Long Absence

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: ca,orange county
    okay so i am a 21 yr old mother who has been raising my son alone since he was 5 months old he is now 41/2. when me and his father separated he was 4 months old his dad only stuck around for about a month then was deported to mexico he has been out of his life fully since then no contact once so ever not an email phone call nothing not from him or any of his family. my so is young and going thow a rough time in life after the lost of his younger brother he very fragile so i don't want there to be any issues if by chance his father decided to return. i would like to fill for full legal and physical custody of him so there is no problems because today my mother received a facebook message from his father saying hes still in mexico but TJ so close, he did not ask about his son at all, he is not a good person and i really don't want him have any rights over my sons well being i'm young and have never had to do anything like this so im here looking for some help things are tight and there's no way i can afford a lawyer to help me so im hoping you guys can i have filled for child support in the past but nothing was done due to the fact that hes in mexico they could not find him to collect. im just worried my son is finally doing good hes going to school and playing baseball and emotionally he is getting better i don't want to screw his head up by his dad stepping back in hes to young to understand he has had my fiance who has been his daddy for 3 years now and for another man he has no clue who is is or never head of him it would be a hard one for him to get at such a young age.

    thank you

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Default Re: How Do I Get Full Custody 4yr Son when Father Has Been Absent for 3 1/2yrs, Young

    Full custody won't take Dad's rights away.

    You might be better off simply doing nothing at this point. Poking the sleeping tiger might end in a result you don't like.

  3. #3

    Default Re: How Do I Get Full Custody 4yr Son when Father Has Been Absent for 3 1/2yrs, Young

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    Full custody won't take Dad's rights away.

    You might be better off simply doing nothing at this point. Poking the sleeping tiger might end in a result you don't like.
    But what about legal custody won't that do it ? He messaged my mother saying he plans on comeing back here soon I don't want him to be able to make any decisions when it comes to my boy I fear the trigger is starting to wake

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How Do I Get Full Custody 4yr Son when Father Has Been Absent for 3 1/2yrs, Young

    He's your mutual child - not just yours.

    No, full legal won't take away Dad's rights either.

    You're going to have to have a pretty good reason why Dad shouldn't have any visitation. If you have anything less than "He committed serious abuse/neglect" or "He was convicted of trying to murder me", he's going to get some sort of visitation if he files for it.

    If your son doesn't know that your husband isn't Dad, he needs to - preferably before Dad files for anything. He may also benefit from counseling.

  5. #5
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: How Do I Get Full Custody 4yr Son when Father Has Been Absent for 3 1/2yrs, Young

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    He's your mutual child - not just yours.

    No, full legal won't take away Dad's rights either.

    You're going to have to have a pretty good reason why Dad shouldn't have any visitation. If you have anything less than "He committed serious abuse/neglect" or "He was convicted of trying to murder me", he's going to get some sort of visitation if he files for it.

    If your son doesn't know that your husband isn't Dad, he needs to - preferably before Dad files for anything. He may also benefit from counseling.
    I am going to disagree a little. Dad was deported to Mexico. He is banned from coming back into the United States. This isn't a case of an overstay or someone who entered illegally, this is someone who is actually banned. The odds of dad taking it to court are very slim, since he is banned from being in the US.

  6. #6
    Join Date
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    Default Re: How Do I Get Full Custody 4yr Son when Father Has Been Absent for 3 1/2yrs, Young

    The funny part of that, is that family court can't do a thing to Dad if Dad actually wants to try and risk things.

    Now, there'd be nothing illegal about somebody calling ICE and letting them know where Dad will be on a certain date at a certain time. Nothing illegal at all (I know you see what I'm getting at there).

    OP also did not say that he was banned for life. If he isn't, Mom should be aware of that.

    And I do think Mom needs to seriously consider that sleeping tiger - specially if his Mom is also playing with the darned thing.

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