Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    3

    Default How to Get 50/50 Custody

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan. I am going to court next week for child custody/child support for my 7 month old son. His mother and I were never married. I worked overtime all year last year to support her household(5 children before our baby) and my place as well. In August 2013 we ended our relationship for good. I am not on my son's birth certificate although paternity was recently established. I never ever denied or questioned paternity, I only asked for the test because his mother makes me jump through all kinds of hoops to see my son. I was never allowed to go to a single doctor appointment during pregnancy, my son's mother hated and resented me the entire pregnancy. So much so that no one bothered to call me when she went to the hospital or tell me my son was born until over an hour and a half after he was born, by the time I got to the hospital they already took him to another hospital because he was 5 weeks early. I tried to get her to sign the voluntary paternity paper right after we got home, 3 times she denied, she did not want him to have my last name, and currently he does not. We had worked out a visitation schedule, all according to her and what she wants and everytime she gets mad at me she keeps me from seeing my son. I pay her child support, non court ordered but she only lets me see my son on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 9am-130pm. No weekends, no overnights, no exceptions. When there has been days where it's been too cold to get my son, she refuses to let me have any make up days. When I ask she either ignores me or gives me a nasty response and I'm afraid if I keep asking she will get angry with me and keep him from me again. Will I be able to get 50/50 custody? I believe a child needs both parents in their lives to grow up healthy. I can't stand the thought of being a "part time" dad to my son.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: How to Get 50/50 Custody

    Your son is 7 months old.

    No, you're not getting 50/50 unless you live next door to Mom and you alternate days.

    Mom doesn't actually have to allow you any visitation at this point. She didn't have to have you present for the pregnancy and birth.

    So what you need now is an enforceable visitation plan.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: How to Get 50/50 Custody

    We live less than 5 minutes apart. Is all the wrong she has done by keeping him from me going to be moot in court?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: How to Get 50/50 Custody

    The thing is, she hasn't done anything wrong. Without a court order, she doesn't have to allow any visitation.

    Mom is likely going to use "status quo" as a reason that you shouldn't get a 50/50 time-share. She's likely going to claim that the child has a more or less "set" routine, and there's no good reason (for her) to change that at this point.

    Do you have a good-ish relationship with Mom?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    244

    Default Re: How to Get 50/50 Custody

    50/50 is not handed out on a regular basis in most Michigan courts and they tend to hand it out even less in non married cases.

    More normal in Mi is joint legal and a standard parenting time schedule, however many courts will still factor in young ages and it can be less then standard time.

    What she has done to this point is unlikely going to matter at this time in court, because you were unwed, and she is presumed in Michigan to have custody, even if you sign the AOP, she has custody. It's not always wise to give parenting time before an order is in place in situations like yours.

    Who is your hearing in front of, FOC, Ref or a Judge?

    - - - Updated - - -

    An FYI for you, because you and mom have split up and have a child together, you will now be a part time parent, no matter what custody or amount of parenting time you get. Mom will also be a part time parent now to. It's a fact of split situations.

    One more thing what days has it been to cold to get your child? I ask as I live in Michigan and it has not stopped my grandchildren's fathers from getting them.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: How to Get 50/50 Custody

    I understand we will both be "part time parents", I guess I should have worded that better. I can't live with what she gives me now which is 14 hours a week, it's just out of spite she's doing this. What I mean is I want him with the same amount of overnights or close to it. I believe he should see his mommy and daddy equally, not whatever his mom sees fit. We do not currently have a good relationship. He is my only child and just want to be there for him. She did this to her daughter's father as well. I've been told that the fact she has kept me from seeing him whenever she gets upset with me will look very bad on her in court. Is his age a factor? A few weeks ago it was about -20 and I missed two days with him and she refused to let me have make up parenting time. We are going in front of a judge. I realize I had no rights with not being on the birth certificate, but I just want the same parenting time as his mom.

    - - - Updated - - -

    How can keeping a child from his father not be considered wrong? You hear all the time about dead-beat dads, what about mothers who intentionally keep children from their dads? Is that not considered wrong in the eyes of the court?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    1,877

    Default Re: How to Get 50/50 Custody

    Because there are no court orders. People only have to follow the orders given to them in custody situations. Moms have built in rights (because of biology) that unmarried fathers do not.

    How was paternity established? By a dna test ordered by the court? Or was this a home dna test?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    RTR/WDE
    Posts
    1,724

    Default Re: How to Get 50/50 Custody

    Quote Quoting zbeland
    View Post
    I understand we will both be "part time parents", I guess I should have worded that better. I can't live with what she gives me now which is 14 hours a week, it's just out of spite she's doing this. What I mean is I want him with the same amount of overnights or close to it. I believe he should see his mommy and daddy equally, not whatever his mom sees fit. We do not currently have a good relationship. He is my only child and just want to be there for him. She did this to her daughter's father as well. I've been told that the fact she has kept me from seeing him whenever she gets upset with me will look very bad on her in court. Is his age a factor? A few weeks ago it was about -20 and I missed two days with him and she refused to let me have make up parenting time. We are going in front of a judge. I realize I had no rights with not being on the birth certificate, but I just want the same parenting time as his mom.

    - - - Updated - - -

    How can keeping a child from his father not be considered wrong? You hear all the time about dead-beat dads, what about mothers who intentionally keep children from their dads? Is that not considered wrong in the eyes of the court?
    Next time, be married to a woman for a while before having children. That's how one gets 'equal time' as a parent.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    244

    Default Re: How to Get 50/50 Custody

    It's going to be hard to get 50/50 unless mom agrees, just the way it is specially in unwed cases. They do not look at what has gone on up to this point, again unwed case. In Mi in unwed cases mom is presumed to have custody, signing the AOP only establishes you as father. You have to seek custody and parenting time rights through the courts. Mom does not have to do anything at this time, you have no custody or parenting time, you get what she gives you.

    Yes I know how cold it has been in Mi, but I don't see why that stopped you from getting your child, again you have no parenting time, so mom does not have to give you make up time. Even when you get this all in an order, if you cancel your time, mom does not have to give you make up time. Now who cancelled because it was cold you or her? The only time mom will have to give you make up time is if she cancels, but that is not until you have an order, she does not EVER HAVE TO give you make up time if you cancel, your loss, so don't cancel.

    Since your child is young, good rule of thumb, that cold out or your child is sick try and work it out with mom to do on another day, if she will not, then take your time anyways. Do this through email so you have it in writing that you tried to work it out with mom.

    It just depends on your court and Judge on what you will get. For some courts I have been in, in Mi 14 hours is about what you would get for the age of your child. Short, frequent parenting time is what many recommend for young children. Other courts will give more. In some courts his age will be a factor, he is still considered to be a baby, again short, frequent is what is still often used for that age. Some will start out giving overnights gradual for that age, others will go straight to standard time. Standard is for the NCP to get standard parenting time, which is basically one weeknight for a couple hours and every other weekend and every other holiday and the school break that goes with it. 50/50 is not standard, specially in unwed cases. That does not mean you should give up on the idea, I'm just saying it is not all that common and you need to plan on something else to.

    She is not keeping the child from the father, your getting time that she does not even have to give you at this time. You have no court order giving you parenting time, so stop with the "mom is keeping the child from the father". Your lucky she is giving you any time without a court order, because I don't recommend that to anyone, there are issues that can occur with that. You would have no rights even if you were on the BC, your missing in Mi in an unwed case, mom is presumed to have custody. All signing the AOP which then puts your name on the BC does is establish you as the father, you still have to seek any form of custody and any parenting time.

    Why? Because we know who mom is, we do not know who dad is, that needs to be established and then there is the issue that you can't just split a child in half, so parenting time and custody needs to be established.

    Have you looked up your county(it would the county the mom and baby lives in)circuit court site? Have you looked up your county Friend of the Court Handbook? Have you looked up the Michigan Child Support formula manual? Look these up and read them all, several times, the FOC handbook will basically guide you through much of this. If yours is not online, you can get one directly from FOC, but it must be from the county this case is going to be heard in. Do you know anyone that has their children in a split situation? Do you know anyone that actually does 50/50 in their split situation? I suggest you start talking to people you know and see how great 50/50 is, how great a split situation is for the kid, how much they love going from home to home. It's not a picnic for the child and you really, really need to make parenting plans based on that individual child, not what you or mom wants. Some kids have no issues and others do and it is best to pay attention to the child and go by that instead of worrying if mom has 1 more hour then you.

    I'm on the east side of the state, I know this area best, but if you want more help I'm usually around here. Mi courts are a bit different then other states, because we have FOC, Refs and Judges. Which one are you going to for this first hearing?

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Similar Threads

  1. Custody and Visitation Issues: Joint Custody, Want Full Custody, Other Parent Trash Talks to Children
    By pennyalvelo in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 10-08-2013, 01:46 PM
  2. Modification of Custody: Modifying a Joint Custody Arrangement to Give One Parent Primary Custody
    By Haisenberg in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 08-30-2013, 03:36 PM
  3. Custody and Visitation Issues: Can Parents Skip Custody Hearing when Giving Custody of a Child to a Family Member
    By prstormtrooper in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 06-21-2012, 11:13 AM
  4. Modification of Custody: What's the Effect of an Emergency Custody Order on Prior Custody and Support Orders
    By Helpasingledae in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-11-2012, 04:25 PM
  5. Modification of Custody: New Jersey Child Custody Modification to Obtain Primary Physical Custody
    By Novice in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-10-2011, 04:29 PM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources