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  1. #1

    Default Setting Up a Custody Order With No Visitation for the Non-Custodial Parent

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Washington

    Our son has neurological issues. He cannot communicate, and he gets very upset during any change. So, as part of the custody agreement, there was to be a clause which stated no new roommates of the opposite gender (ie. no living with a girlfriend/boyfriend). This would probably end up being changed within a year when we go back for the child support adjustment, since my ex will either be getting promoted or lose his job (he's military) in that time frame. He cannot re-enlist without that promotion so if he doesn't get it we'd have still have to change the child support because he'd be making less. Anyway, rather than give up living with his girlfriend (the woman he left me for) he'd rather give up his visitation rights. He accepts that is what our son may need but that he says he is unwilling to give up his life for anyone. I told him if he did that he had to be certain. He has agreed to sign papers so my question is do we just put down no required visitation or is there another way to go about this? We are moving to Washington in a couple months so our laywers told us to wait and file there, though they don't know Washington state law. He has been delaying it anyway so we couldn't file in Hawaii because he wanted to make sure I didn't sue his girlfriend and knows I can't afford a lawsuit here and in Washington. (Hawaii still has an Alienation of Affection clause allowing spouses to sue the lover and he knows I have documents showing we were trying for another child and nasty emails from his girlfriend.) But I don't want him to decide three or four years down the road to pop back up again and play with our son's emotions. He did that with his first son when I started sending him birthday and christmas gifts from our son. He tried to be dad for a few months then disappeared again. I don't want my son to got through that, especially since he's so young he won't remember his father. (He's two) Does anyone know if there is a way for him to sign away his legal rights to visitation and custody. He knows he'll have to pay child support still, so that isn't issue. But I don't know how good it will be for him to suddenly demand visits from a four or five year-old who has no idea who he is. I've tried talking to him about all this but it comes down to "Well ******* (stars for the name not foul language) said the kid can sleep on the floor so I'll drop him off at midnight". My favorite was "******* and I agree that me spending two hours with him over this four day is more than enough." I'm sort of relieved he wants to give up his rights to be honest. He's had a CPS report against him that was dismissed but he yells at our son and our son seems afraid of him a lot of the time. But it gives you an idea of what I'm working with and why I want something legally binding if this is what he is saying he wants.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Father Wishes to Give Up Paternal Rights (Not Necessarily Responsbility)

    You and he can file a stipulated agreement with the court that you have sole legal and sole physical custody, and Dad has no visitation.

    This will not, however, stop him from changing his mind down the road.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Father Wishes to Give Up Paternal Rights (Not Necessarily Responsbility)

    But if he does change his mind he would still have to go through the courts to get visitation again right? He can't just reappear and demand to take our son. That's what I'm trying to prevent.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    35,894

    Default Re: Father Wishes to Give Up Paternal Rights (Not Necessarily Responsbility)

    Were you actually married to Dad?

  5. #5
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    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Father Wishes to Give Up Paternal Rights (Not Necessarily Responsbility)

    Quote Quoting MotherofDragons
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    But if he does change his mind he would still have to go through the courts to get visitation again right? He can't just reappear and demand to take our son. That's what I'm trying to prevent.
    Yes, if the stipulated agreement states that he has no visitation, then yes, if he changes his mind sometime in the future, he would have to go through the courts to obtain visitation.

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