My question involves labor and employment law for the state of: Missouri
I like my job, I mostly love my co-workers 2 of my 4 bosses are fairly decent people. Unfortunately, I'm being messed with, taken advantage of and insulted. Some of the things are legal, some are not and some are huge bungles by my employer it almost makes me feel sorry for them.
I started my job in 8/2012. I had previously worked for the company 8 years ago, although a different division and got great performance reviews and left on good terms. My total seniority is close to 5 years now. In September of 2012 I attended a yearly, mandatory meeting in Florida for 5 days. My co-workers and I are administrative assistants so at the meeting we're basically staff, handing out name badges, agendas, pointing out where the bathrooms are, easy stuff. I really tried to prove myself there. I worked hard, bonded with co-workers, jumped in where I could. I was new and I wanted them to like me. For the next year I worked hard, took on a lot of new projects my 90 day and 6 month reviews were great. No complaints. I did get a new boss, Ray. No complaints from anyone except from Ray to my main boss about a yellow sweater I wore. I never wore it again. Whatever.
My two year old son was diagnosed with moderate/severe autism in 3/2013. I carried on with work as usual except in May and June I requested to use vacation time to tack an extra hour on my lunch one day a week to meet my mom and son at a hospital for my son's therapy and parent training. No problems at this point everyone at work knew of my son's autism.
As the time for the five day out of town meeting approached I asked my main boss if I could attend the first three days of the meeting, getting the staff through the busy time and then head home. I told him my son is non verbal and receives therapy from me in the evenings. We can't hire a teenager to watch him and my husband works long and unpredictable hours. My main boss says, that's ok for this year.
I was never offered any FMLA time and even though I knew I could request it for mandatory overtime I didn't. I didn't want to be a headache. Head down, nose clean make everyone happy is how I roll
The news of my leaving the meeting early did not sit well with two bosses, Ray and Tina. During my annual review in August 2013 they ripped me to shreds. They criticized my bad attitude at the 2012 meeting. I suppose they expected me to be my usual passive, no arguments self but they were wrong. I wanted examples, I wanted to know when, what, how and where. They had none. Ray didn't even know me then and I didn't even remember him at the meeting. There were about 600 attendees. Tina admitted I did fine at the meeting. Ray then said, you have to leave early this year to give that kid therapy and shook his head and rolled his eyes. My main boss was sitting there eyes bulging, mouth gaping. He had no complaints and at this point in the review probably wasn't sure what to do about the mess unfolding. After Ray said that about my son I gave up. I started crying. Not professional but damn it special needs parenting is hard, there's grief, there's stress, there's fear that on top of this review the fact that we were in a busy restaurant and the fact there was no way I could stab Ray with my fork and get away with it culminated into water works I couldn't stop. I ended up with a meets requirements on that review and a 59 cent raise. Gee, thanks. The rest of the comments on the review were stellar, I deserved an exceeds requirements and a higher raise. I was clearly discriminated against for needing to be home with my son.
I got over the review, I continued on working as if it never happened maintaining a professional relationship with Ray and Tina. In the meantime my workload has increased significantly. I was working an extra 5-10 plus hours a week in overtime I really didn't want but such is life. I took on another boss bringing number of bosses to the current total of 4. I do things now that probably are within the scope of my duties but they are in addition to my other duties and I'm drowning. I talked to my main boss about hiring another person or at least a pay increase. I did find out a new employee with similar duties, background and education to mine was making close to 20% more than me. A raise is not out of line. He said he would try. OK
In October I got pneumonia. Sweet. I was out of work for 7 days. I got a chest x-ray a cat scan two doctor's visits some antibiotics and steroids. I called my boss every day checking in and telling him what was going on including diagnosis and treatment. When I returned I brought in a doc's note and requested the time be FMLA. About 3 or so weeks later my boss says they applied the sick leave policy and paid me for two days but took my remaining 5 days of vacation. Nothing was said about my FMLA request. I was worried as I was saving those days for emergencies with my son. I asked what would happen if I needed to take a day for my son and he said he really didn't know but it would show up on my review and that I needed to have my husband and family step up and help. Like they don't already!
In January I had to take a snow day. I wasn't paid, nothing was said, I made up the 8 hours easily with overtime
I finally heard about my request for a raise about a week and a half ago. It was denied because my co-workers said I'm too quiet and I don't go to lunch with them. I didn't believe that so I asked them and they said it wasn't true, one was particularly pissed as her and I have a great relationship.
I went to HR and complained. I can't go to lunch with anyone because my son goes to therapy 4 days a week and at lunch I pick him up and my mom meets me at work and she takes him home until my husband or I get home. The 5th day I run errands at lunch or get the MUCH needed respite at a bookstore, the mall or the tanning bed. Cancer be-damned. I told HR that the VP and president of my division complaining about the not talking enough of mother of a non verbal autistic child was too much of a coincidence for me. She wrote everything down, agreed it was strange said she didn't want to believe it was discrimination but it all made no sense.
I said the same things to my main boss. I asked that given the situation and the discrimination that he talks to them again about my raise. I said I understand a no for legit reasons or company policy but not for this and that I had better not catch another whiff of discrimination at work again including Ray's comments about my kid needing therapy or his, there's something wrong with you comments. I also said there won't be any lunches as my three year old needs me and lunch is my time.
On Monday I'm going to request my time off with pneumonia be FMLA. My question is, can they require me to use my vacation time for FMLA (running concurrently) if there is a policy in place to pay employees under a separate sick leave plan. I thought if FMLA time was paid that vacation days didn't have to be used. The sticking point is there is a 5 day unpaid waiting period before the sick leave pay kicks in. Also, what are the repercussions for my employer not telling me FMLA would be denied for pneumonia, which it shouldn't be, and not providing me a written denial with a reason?
Should I go ahead and file a complaint with EEOC and the Missouri Human Rights for the review debacle and denial of a raise and then them not reviewing the request again after I made my case about lunches and complaining to HR?
Right now my husband and I are getting ourselves in a great position to be able to go down to one salary and I should be able to quit in the next 6-12 months so I'll go hard with this. I don't care anymore. I like the work, the company is a major employer in my city, looks great on a resume and it's a feat to get hired there but I'm not being treated fairly. It's depressing and all I wanted to do is a good job.
Thank you for reading. I know it's long but I at least hope a little entertaining

