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  1. #1
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    Feb 2014
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    Default Can You Change Custody if a Teen Wants to Live with Father

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan

    We have joint custody of 10 and 13 year old girls. The 13 year old wants to live with her dad full time and leaves my house often to go to his without my permission. He allows it and by the time I file paperwork with FOC she is back. We have been through all the family assessment and revisited custody. She believes that when she turns 14 she will be able to choose where she lives. Will she? She claimed abuse by me 2x but the claims were unfounded. The investigators even testified in court during our custody battle to state that there was definitely no abuse in my home. We were ordered to have an assessment by a psychologist who determined there is alienation going on. I am only bringing this up because it's all in the FOC file. I am just worried that she will be allowed to choose him because he allows her to do whatever she wants.

    I need advice!!!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Teen Wants to Live with Father

    The age at which a child's decision as to where she wants to live is binding on the court is 18.

    Younger than that, a court may take a child's wishes into consideration but she does not automatically get to choose.

  3. #3
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    Feb 2014
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    Default Re: Teen Wants to Live with Father

    That was my understanding. Thank you for your time!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Teen Wants to Live with Father

    While I agree with cbg, I do think you've got to take it a little further and really ask yourself the hard question - that being, "What's in her best interest?".

    I'm a little dubious on the investigators saying flat out there was no abuse - unless they lived with you 24/7, it should have been "unfounded" or "inconclusive".

    Is there a solid reason why she wants to live with Dad?

  5. #5
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Teen Wants to Live with Father

    Quote Quoting MiMom722
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan

    We have joint custody of 10 and 13 year old girls. The 13 year old wants to live with her dad full time and leaves my house often to go to his without my permission. He allows it and by the time I file paperwork with FOC she is back. We have been through all the family assessment and revisited custody. She believes that when she turns 14 she will be able to choose where she lives. Will she? She claimed abuse by me 2x but the claims were unfounded. The investigators even testified in court during our custody battle to state that there was definitely no abuse in my home. We were ordered to have an assessment by a psychologist who determined there is alienation going on. I am only bringing this up because it's all in the FOC file. I am just worried that she will be allowed to choose him because he allows her to do whatever she wants.

    I need advice!!!

    How does the 13 year old manage to leave your home without your permission? If dad is facilitating this then perhaps you need to bypass the FOC and get an attorney to file for contempt of court...however no, she does not get to decide at age 14. She gets to decide at age 18.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Teen Wants to Live with Father

    That's an excellent point.

  7. #7
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    Feb 2011
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    Virginia
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    Default Re: Teen Wants to Live with Father

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    I'm a little dubious on the investigators saying flat out there was no abuse - unless they lived with you 24/7, it should have been "unfounded" or "inconclusive".
    Perhaps it was determined that the teen was being manipulative, and they wanted to emphasize that?

    It doesn't sound that implausible to me.


    Mom's definitely in a tough spot. The last thing daughter needs to learn is that she can pitch a fit, work the system, tell some lies, and get what she wants.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Teen Wants to Live with Father

    That's the point - "unfounded" suggests that it may have been a false report. "Inconclusive" suggests that there may be some abuse, but there's not really enough proof to act on it.

    Call it "no abuse whatsoever" is taking it too far.

  9. #9
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    Virginia
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    Default Re: Teen Wants to Live with Father

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    That's the point - "unfounded" suggests that it may have been a false report. "Inconclusive" suggests that there may be some abuse, but there's not really enough proof to act on it.

    Call it "no abuse whatsoever" is taking it too far.
    I do understand what you are saying. But I can still hear them saying what she said they did. It doesn't surprise me at all. And I think perhaps what I mentioned is part of their thought process. I'm not claiming that it's right or wrong.
    Besides, what the investigator said in court might not be the same as the exact wording used in their records.

  10. #10
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    Feb 2014
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    Default Re: Teen Wants to Live with Father

    The first claim was made because she came at me while throwing a fit and I grabbed her wrists and held her from hitting me. The second report was a false claim. She claimed I clawed her hands but there wasn't an incident to speak of and she said that her two sisters (we have an older daughter also who is 19) witnessed it, but when interviewed they agreed there was no incident.

    This all came at the same time she decided she wanted to live with him. We were ordered to see a psychologist. There is clear parental alienation (which I understand is barely recognized by the courts) and something else where she sees him as a victim of the divorce. She protects him. He physically abused me in front of the kids and she still sees him as the victim. All of this has been documented by the psychologist who assessed us for the courts.

    I spent thousands with my attorney and have filed in the past for him being in contempt. He gets a slap on the wrist and it fuels both of their fires.

    Yes, I'm in a hard spot because I cannot physically hold her in the house due to my fear of another CPS claim. I have just yesterday requested a mediation with FOC to work with her father on him actually setting rules and telling her that she needs to stay here during my weeks.

    Her reasoning for wanting to live with her father? She sets the rules there. Eats what she wants - does what she wants - whenever she wants. She also feels that he needs her there because he is depressed. Those are her words. The past two years, she has missed @ 20 days each year of school when with him and only 2 or so with me. The truancy officer is in constant contact with her dad. But since her grades are near perfect- the courts didn't look to hard at that.

    I am willing to look at all options... Trust me. Her And I have been through counseling and all it comes down to is everything that has gone on for 5 years is my fault. But hey, I won't let go of her. It's truly not in her best interest.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I just looked at both reports. They both read - insufficient evidence to support a finding of abuse or neglect.

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