I'm really not sure how I am over stepping any boundaries at all. The children are in my home most of the time. I do have a say so in my own house, especially since everything that goes on also affects my little girls. I guess I should give you a little background on my step sons. The oldest step son tends to get into trouble a lot. He's stolen our truck, and gotten in trouble with the police numerous times. He wanted to have two friends over for a sleep over and they thought they were being clever by sneaking out the window to smoke an illegal drug without us knowing. A neighbor thought we were being robbed and called the police. The police showed up and arrested all three boys and we had no idea what the boys were up to. He was placed on probation. Several more times hes gotten in trouble with same scenario at friends houses at sleep overs. Neither my husband nor his exe wife ever disciplines the children. I understand it's their children, However, in my home I have girls, so when the boys are over I do not allow sleep overs anymore. This is not only to protect my children, but his children too. I care about the boys, and I take care of them like I would my own children. If this is all going on in my home, do I not have a right as a step parents to enforce rules in my own home? I fail to see the logic in this, as I must have some rights as a loving step parent and mother.

My main problem is that I really feel it would be better if we could all communicate openly-but she refuses. yet she has no problem with me buying her kids clothes, feeding them, driving them back and forth places, etc. My husband and I also went to a family therapist who thought the exe wife was being hurtful to not only my relationship with step children, but to her own children by getting the kids involved in all of this.

if im over stepping boundaries what do you suggest I do? Just turn a cheek and let the chips fall where they may? One thing I will not allow is any illegal behavior from their 16 year old in my home.His grades have gone down, hes depressed and Im to blame because hes not allowed to have friends sleep over anymore But how can I trust him when hes constantly doing things that show me how irresponsible hes being. This is the kind of things I would like to speak with about to their mom. Thought together we could help each other since were coming together for the common good of her children. Im not trying to be their mom, they have a mother. I just care about them and want him to have a bright future. I fail to see how I can be to blame for all this-when its bad decisions on his part that has lead us to this junction.