Quote Quoting flyingron
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As far as NC is concerned, if there's a father listed on the birth certificate he must either consent or join in the petition for the name change.
The fact you lied makes no difference. The fact you no longer know where he is makes no difference.

You have a mess, and it's not going to be a self file issue. If you can't find him and get his consent, it gets quite involved and the clerks will not even deal with you without a lawyer in this situation. Rather than just filing a bunch of forms as it would be normally, you'll need special affidavits and proof of notice and you're going to have to make a argument to the judge why there is a "just and good cause" that the name change take place.
I agree, however the OP needs to be clearer about one issue....

If the ex was actually put on the birth certificate as the legal father (not just mom giving the child his last name) then changing the child's last name doesn't change the fact that her ex will remain the child's legal father...and that might be more important of an issue than the child's actual last name.

If the child simply has the ex's last name, without the ex being on the BC as the legal father, then the ex doesn't even need to be served for the last name change.