Intimidted Out of Seeking a Visitation Order

[paternityfraud]

My question involves child support in the State of: Florida

So im in a legal pickle and need additional opinions.

I was in the army and had sexual relations with a woman i did not know to well. several months later she found out she was pregnant and told me i was the only one she had been sleeping with. i was in iraq when she had the babies (twins) so i wasn't put on the birth certificates. when i got home we were planning on getting married in a couple months and she told me i was the only one she had been sleeping with. i signed a paper to put my name on the birth certificate (was notarized) but after talking to my mother decided not to send it in until after i did a dna test. well we did a courthouse wedding and things went south from there. about a month in my wife started cutting herself and threatening the twins if i left her. i was to scared to have her baker acted and she would self mutilate herself and threaten to tell the police i did it whenever i tried call during her "episodes". i found out about 6 months after she had sent in the paper i signed putting me on the kids birth certificates(without my knowledge). i told her i wanted a dna test, well she advised me she was raped by a man and and told me im not the dad cause she sent in a dna test. she told me the man raped her and she was only trying to use me to protect the kids. i was devestated but didnt know what to do i talked to a lawyer in ga where i was stationed and she found out and held a knife to her throat and was telling me she killed the kids and herself again if i left. Well another 14 month deployment under away i finally decided enough was enough. during my leave time i slept with her (retarded i know) and we started talking divorce. well she found out baby 3 was on the way. i came home tried working on things with her for the sake of the kids. baby 3 was born and things were getting worse. finally after a year we split up and i filed for divorce. well i did 2 mail identege dna tests and both said i was not the father of baby 3. shes claiming she was raped again and says that im probably not the dad.

now shes trying to get me off the birth certificates without putting a real father on. she asking for child support for all three if i cant get off and refusing to let me see them. after almost a year i finally got the notice to set mediation.

shes threatend to file for a DVI if i tried for any kind of visitaton while the divorce is goin on. im scared cause im a police officer in pasco and there granted with no evidence here all the time. her mom is trying to say i was abusive and threatend to shoot her and hit her during the marriage (all bs). im really scared of the dvi cause i want to get a job at a different department or get back in the army and a granted dvi will kill that (as well as my gun rights and collection away).

i have very little evidence and now shes trying to stop the dna testing and claiming i knew all the kids weren't mine the whole time. she created a facebook and myspace with my picture on it and messaged herself and is gloating how shell burn me in court with that and her moms testimony.

its been almost a year since ive seen the kids shes promised to let me have them on my off time a few times but always freaks right before i pick them up. she had the older two calling me Hans and tells them i will hurt them if im alone with them.

If the kids arent mine i just want to be let go im started to lose it because of all this stress how is any of this legal.........

how is someone expected to go on in life paying 1300 a month in child support for kids that aren't theirs...................

best part is she called the police where she lives and told them i beat her and raped her 5 months ago ........... at the time i was an hour away working as a cop...........she changed her story later but somehow wasnt charged with false report to leo.


now after two tours as an infantrymen in iraq a wound that i almost died from and a new (career) in law enforcement im losing everything.

[Dogmatique]

This is important:

Has the divorce been finalized yet?

Other than that, you signed the papers - that's all that Mom needed to satisfy the legalities. She didn't need further permission to actually mail in the paperwork.

This is what's going to happen:

Your paternity will be disestablished, and you will have no further rights or obligations.

OR

You'll remain the father, be ordered to pay child support and have the right to petition for custody/visitation.

If you answer the first question, it may help us narrow things down a little.

[paternityfraud]

no its been moving slow just got a letter to set a date for mediation

[Dogmatique]

At this point much depends on what you actually want to do.

Do you want to remain Dad?

(The reason I asked about the divorce was that if it was actually finalized neither of you would stand much chance at challenging paternity)

[paternityfraud]

I have mixed feelings...... I miss the kids and honestly brake down almost daily knowing im missing them. i know it might sound weird coming from a man but im scared to death of my ex i dont know why i stayed as long as i did i know she wont ever just let us be coparents. her grandfather has millions and shes told me a couple times she knows she can afford legal bills to keep taking me to court (which ironically her counter petition is for me to pay her legal bills). i want to do court approved dna tests and if im not the dad i want to be let go and be able to live with my scars. if i am the dad i want as much time as i can and to pay fair child support (not 1500 plus medical insurance and 500 a month in alimony she asked me for considering i make about 3500 a year).

[Dogmatique]

Child support is set by the state. Plug the numbers and see what it spits out http://dor.myflorida.com/dor/childsu...uidelines.html

Fight tooth and nail against alimony.

You can, and should, request a DNA paternity test. If you're not the father, you generally do have a chance at disestablishing paternity as part of the divorce action.

But you've got to get going because once that divorce is finalized your chances drop dramatically (as in, "none").

Please rest assured though - if you remain Dad you WILL be seeing those children, and regularly. Mom can't play that game. If she does, you need to get back here so we can help you further.

[Mr. Knowitall]

If you're not working with a lawyer yet, start now. Your posts make it pretty clear that you're in over your head, trying to litigate these issues without legal representation.