Can I Take Custody Without Going Back to Court Based on a Child's Wish

[Mr. Knowitall]

Custody disputes should be handled between the adults, without the kids being placed in the middle.

I have a 15 year old Daughter who lives with her mother and aunt in Georgia, She was taken from me approx. 4 years ago and her mother never told me they where going.

We've established that you've known where she lives for a very long time, and that your elder daughter knew how to find you when she wanted to do so. I expect that your younger daughter also knows how to reach you.

Oh and by the way I am not divorced or legally separated either.

Why not? It sounds like it's time to remedy that situation. Frankly, you should have gone to court when you found out that your wife was moving to Georgia, at which time you could have established jurisdiction in your state and obtained a formal custody and visitation order.

They live in a trailer home with approx. 20-30 cats, dogs,horses....

The horses live in the "trailer home"?

She says the house smells and not very clean.

There's a solution for that, which I expect that your daughter doesn't want to hear. Think, "This house isn't going to clean itself."

She says she gets verbally abused for not completing tasks around the shelter, And sometimes for no reason at all.

The other way one might phrase the first part is that she gets scolded when she doesn't do her chores. Odds are, that would be the response to the allegation in any custody proceeding.

Does she have the right to decide where she wants to live? what is the best way to do this? And yes I do pay her mother money even though we are not divorced. I have no money for lawyers and such, but I cannot sit idle on this, please help!

Here's the thing: I agree with the others who have stated that if you turn this visit "to see big sister" into a custody battle, you will be in a difficult position. Mom can file for divorce and custody in Georgia, and she can argue to the court that you lied in order to get th 15-year-old into your home and are refusing to return her to her home and school. You'll get your say in court, but odds are that the judge in the short term would order the child returned to Georgia and her established custodial environment pending further proceedings.

Your best bet is to get mom to agree to let your child live with you. If you do not want to even try that, odds are that your best bet is to return the child to Georgia but to commence divorce and custody proceedings in that state. The child's wishes are not definitive but, if the court is made aware of them, they can influence the outcome.

Me and my boyfriend went down to visit my sister in OCT of 2013. I noticed how badly the living conditions have gotten, my mom told me not to tell my dad because she was afraid of losing my sister.

As others have suggested, if it's that bad then protective services should be involved.

But my dad didn't know where we moved to, seeing as my mom never said a word to my dad.

And yet you were in contact with your father and knew, in a heartbeat, how to contact him to have him send you a ticket. If you want us to believe that your father did not know where you were during the month between when you moved to Georgia and when he sent you the ticket, the question arises: Why didn't you tell him sooner?

He felt before knowing how the living situation is, that he would rather us kids choose where to be.

So you're telling us that your sister has chosen, to this point, to live with your mother?

How he managed just to wash out cat urine and bags? I'm not a cat owner, nor have I ever, but it's my understanding that you can't just "wash" out cat urine?

If it fits in a washer, you can wash it. Pillows can be tricky, as you have to get all of the cat urine out, but clothes aren't a big problem. For upholstered furniture, carpets and the like, you have to clean and completely neutralize the urine or it will continue to react with the material, producing that wonderful ammonia smell that you've probably encountered in some less clean cat homes. When that happens, you're pretty much reduced to replacing the item or carpet.

[CourtClerk]

If it fits in a washer, you can wash it. Pillows can be tricky, as you have to get all of the cat urine out, but clothes aren't a big problem. For upholstered furniture, carpets and the like, you have to clean and completely neutralize the urine or it will continue to react with the material, producing that wonderful ammonia smell that you've probably encountered in some less clean cat homes. When that happens, you're pretty much reduced to replacing the item or carpet.

Ahhh haaa, now I've got it. Granted, I've never smelled cat urine and from what I've been told, I don't wish to smell cat urine. I also try to stay out of the homes of cat owners who appear to stink of anything because I may encounter the smell of cat urine and smelly things make me ill.

[Lehk]

Cat urine is easy to deal with, you keep the litter box clean and the cat will naturally go in the box it is their instinct. Unless they are sick in which case they may need a vet if they have a UTI.