Can I Take Custody Without Going Back to Court Based on a Child's Wish

[cbg]

Your guess with regards to when Doggie was growing up is a couple of decades off the mark. Now, me, I was born in the mid 50's. My dad worked 80 hour weeks and was constantly on call, but I still have plenty of memories of him taking us to the park, or for rides out to the natural caverns near us to look for animals in the woods, or just playing games with us.

My husband's kids have countless memories of him coaching their Little League teams, taking them to sports events, spending all the time possible with them.

So please don't assume what other peoples experiences have been, or what parents who don't find it necessary to post on legal boards may be doing.

You really have no idea how offensive you're being, do you?

[LawResearcherMissy]

If i can show them how important it is for a child to have them in their life, then my 'romanticizing' is all worth it.

NO. That is NOT what we do here. Knock off with the theatrics and stick with useful information, or shut up and leave. Or be made to leave.

Your agenda gets in the way of helping people.

[FatherKnowsBest]

Your agenda gets in the way of helping people.

Sorry, i thought that was helpful.

[jaimepaige3]

Me being the oldest daughter, I saw how bad it got before we were moved to GA over 3 years ago, I basically raised my sister when my dad wasn't home. My mother would sleep all day and all night waking up periodically to take more meds. Now don't get me wrong I absolutely love my mother but there were more options to do instead of move straight to GA. As my mother said "GA was the last resort" When we got to GA my aunt used to yell at me until I went off on her. I couldn't stand it anymore a month later I asked my dad to get me a one way ticket. I got up here and I stayed. A bout a month of me being up here my mom stopped talking to me. Wouldn't let my sister talk to me. And she finally started talking to me again a year and a half later. Me and my boyfriend went down to visit my sister in OCT of 2013. I noticed how badly the living conditions have gotten, my mom told me not to tell my dad because she was afraid of losing my sister. Obviously my mom cares more about my sister then me. But my dad didn't know where we moved to, seeing as my mom never said a word to my dad. Them not being legally separated or divorced, allowed my mom to just leave. But Neither me or my sister wanted to leave NH. We had to sneak to talk to our dad while we were in GA. He felt before knowing how the living situation is, that he would rather us kids choose where to be. My sister came up for a visit just last week and told my father how bad things have really gotten. She is sick and tired of hearing our own blood, (Aunt and Mother) put me and my father down. She can't stand being yelled at.

The issue with why its taken so long for my dad to act was that we didn't tell our father how bad everything really was, and for all I know my father felt as though we should choose where to be. But knowing now what he does, he wants to help us in every way. My father, while me, my sister and mother still lived in the house our parents had together, sent almost his whole pay check to us kids to make sure we had a house, food and all the necessities and more. There was more then enough money for a comfortable life. My mother stopped paying the bills and lied to us kids. I am now 20 years old an feel as though our situation is quite a bit different then some out there. Its hard to understand exactly what may be going on in our lives.

[Dogmatique]

And all of a sudden, the sister turns up?

How convenient.

Another adult to claim an unsuitable living situation and does nothing about it?

How baffling.

[Paul Arsenault]

I hide nothing from my girls they too have an opinion. I told them I was doing this and to read it and chime in if they wanted to, so this is why she did. Not sure why this is baffling, Not sure why you seem to think we are sitting idle, we have been trying to figure out what to do, this is why we are here. I just want to try and give everyone the big picture and try and find some guidance.

[Dogmatique]

I might have missed it. But in case I didn't, have you actually talked to Mom about it?

(Mom does know..right?)

[Paul Arsenault]

No have not talked to her, she wont talk to me, email mabe, thats it. If i do try and talk to her about this she might run and/or take it out on my youngest.

[Dogmatique]

Forget your intentions.

Forget what the child wants.

This is how - based purely on your posts here - this will likely play out.

Mom is so furious with all three of you that she files for custody faster than you can blink, and requests that you have only supervised visitation, in Mom's home state.

Why? Because on paper, in her eyes, none of you can be trusted. Remember, family court doesn't work like criminal court -Mom doesn't have to prove that anything criminal has occurred. All she has to do is tell the truth - she sent your child to be with your other daughter and between the three of you y'all finagled a way for your daughter NOT to be where she's supposed to be, with absolutely no respect or regard for Mom's rules.

You haven't bothered with visitation in over 3 years and suddenly all you want to do is keep your daughter from the only parent who - in the eyes of the court - has given a hoot about her welfare all this time. Do you not understand that this carries massive significance? Do you not grasp how this can look in court?

- - - Updated - - -

Seriously, you better get that child home when she's meant to be home.

[CourtClerk]

I hide nothing from my girls they too have an opinion. I told them I was doing this and to read it and chime in if they wanted to, so this is why she did. Not sure why this is baffling, Not sure why you seem to think we are sitting idle, we have been trying to figure out what to do, this is why we are here. I just want to try and give everyone the big picture and try and find some guidance.

I would like to know.... if the OP has been sending a check every week since mom and the child have been gone, where he was sending the checks when he claims he didn't know where they were (even though he sent a check every week and sometimes sent his WHOLE check)?

How, if he's living on the brink of poverty to support this child did he have the time, energy and money to date a woman with 2 children and how he's paying those bills?

How large a house he has so that he can accommodate yet another child?

How he managed just to wash out cat urine and bags? I'm not a cat owner, nor have I ever, but it's my understanding that you can't just "wash" out cat urine?

If her clothes were THAT bad that you had to immediately go wash her things, why not send her home with new things as opposed to the cat urine soaked clothing she appeared with (that you saw)?

Every court in the nation makes available a method for people who are experiencing financial difficulty to (1) file their own documents at low or no charge and (2) get access to free or cheap legal assistance, why in 3 years have you not availed yourself of those services? You seemed to have time to date.

How is it that your 20 year old daughter found your post on this website in order for her to respond? Do you make it a habit to get your children involved in these custody matters? However, since she seems to want to get involved, and seeing as if mom will allow the younger daughter to visit the older daughter, why didn't you use this as a way to get your daughter back into your custody before now?

In other words... your priorities are screwed up, dad.