Can I Take Custody Without Going Back to Court Based on a Child's Wish

[free9man]

Your point? He can't even put together a simple sentence with proper grammar and punctuation.

Not that I disagree with his entire point of view, but he seems a bit hot-headed at times.

Sorry, got my fathers mixed up.

[Paul Arsenault]

She left without telling me where they where going, I came home one day, and POOF!! one bag of clothes on the front porch. I supose i cant prove drug abuse, my oldest daughter would probably contest to it if this matters.

Why do you think your 15 year old suddenly wants to live with your, versus Mom, after not seeing you for 3 years?
She is fed up with the verbal abuse and emotional. Her schooling is being affected by it.

Have child services and animal control (nice pick up, disagreeable) been involved yet?
NO

What led up to Mom allowing her to visit after 3 years of nothing?
She told her mother she was going to visit her older sister and not me.

[FatherKnowsBest]

She left without telling me where they where going, I came home one day, and POOF!! one bag of clothes on the front porch. I supose i cant prove drug abuse, my oldest daughter would probably contest to it if this matters.

This is all you really need to know paul

If you are still married with no order in place, that means either of you can take the child wherever you want. You can go get your daughter and bring her back with you, and mom could come take her back. If you take her and mom decides she wants to take legal action, she can petition the court for custody with an order that the child be returned to her pending the outcome of the trial. Jurisdiction for this and further custody matters would then be where the mother lives. If mom does nothing about it, and the child lives with you long enough to establish residency where you live (generally six months - look it up for your state), then you can file your own petition there and your area would have jurisdiction over the matter.

You can get into a bit of a game of tug-o-war if you're not careful. Since I don't know the mother, and I don't know how she would react (really no one knows for sure what anyone will do), I couldn't tell you what your strategy should be.

[Dogmatique]

She's a lazy prescription junkie who is apparently keeping your daughter safe and sound for at least 3 years while you've done nothing to see your daughter?

I'm not sure exactly how that...hang on a minute.

You are in another relationship, yes?

Who are the other children involved?

One more for the road: If your daughter decides in three weeks that you suck and your house sucks and NH sucks most of all - you'll let her go right back to Mom, yes?

Believe it or not, I am going somewhere specific and it's probably to your benefit, Dad.

[Paul Arsenault]

Ok, her aunt has been taking care of her for the last 3 years with her mother living there, please understand that I just wanted what was best for my daughter at that time, I was gone for a week at a time for work, she never wanted to be there to begin with, but at the time i thought it best, I was wrong!
Yes in a relationship, a young boy and girl came with her. Not my children. My daughter is very smart and knows what she wants, she will NOT want to go back, I am sure of this.

[FatherWhoWon]

This is all you really need to know paul

"All you need to know" is almost never contained in only a single paragraph.

[Paul Arsenault]

"All you need to know" is almost never contained in only a single paragraph.

I agree, still all good info.

- - - Updated - - -

She's a lazy prescription junkie who is apparently keeping your daughter safe and sound for at least 3 years while you've done nothing to see your daughter?

I'm not sure exactly how that...hang on a minute.

You are in another relationship, yes?

Who are the other children involved?

One more for the road: If your daughter decides in three weeks that you suck and your house sucks and NH sucks most of all - you'll let her go right back to Mom, yes?

Believe it or not, I am going somewhere specific and it's probably to your benefit, Dad.

I think if you read the posts that I had mentioned I had no Idea they where going, it took some time, months for me to find them.

- - - Updated - - -

Paul, let me ask you a couple of questions.

1. Why do you think your 15 year old suddenly wants to live with your, versus Mom, after not seeing you for 3 years?

2. Have child services and animal control (nice pick up, disagreeable) been involved yet?

3. What led up to Mom allowing her to visit after 3 years of nothing?

- - - Updated - - -

5. Why has taken 3 years for you to act?

Response to 5
Please understand that I just wanted what was best for my daughter at that time, I was gone for a week at a time for work, she never wanted to be there to begin with, but at the time i thought it best, I was wrong! now this is all changed and have a happy home.

[FatherKnowsBest]

3 yrs of no action and it still continues now. Paul, why aren't you on your way, driving right now, to go pick up your child?

[Dogmatique]

Ok, her aunt has been taking care of her for the last 3 years with her mother living there, please understand that I just wanted what was best for my daughter at that time, I was gone for a week at a time for work, she never wanted to be there to begin with, but at the time i thought it best, I was wrong!
Yes in a relationship, a young boy and girl came with her. Not my children. My daughter is very smart and knows what she wants, she will NOT want to go back, I am sure of this.

I'd rather hoped that wouldn't be the case (for your sake).

But here's what we have. A 'Disney Dad', with other kids to play with/tease/control and a mother-figure who is likely on her best behavior, all of which tends to get your average 15 year old girl all sorts of antsy and excited and OMGZ they don't make me do CHORES!.

See where I'm coming from?

In her eyes, she's hoping to high heaven that she'll get 3 years of idyllic teen-ship.


Dad, I really do hope you take this to heart - because it's truly not intended to hurt you - but she's actually not that smart to know what she wants, or at least make her own decisions about it.

You have three years of "Dadness" to make up for and you really don't know each other too well at this point. Once school, babysitting and chores come back into the equation, after not being able to see all of her friends any more, after having to switch schools and then deal with all the trauma that goes along with that as well as being at - pregnancy notwithstanding - the most hormonal she'll ever feel in her life...I'm sorry, but this is a recipe for disaster.

And worse? She didn't even TELL Mom she was going to see you. She lied.

Do you really think she's mature enough to make that decision herself?

You're being played, Dad.

Regarding the state of the house at Moms. If she was actually telling the truth about it, DFCS (or whatever they're called in Georgia) would have stepped in LONG before now.

You can't hide the smell of cat urine in your clothes for too long and most of the school employees are what's known as "mandated reporters". In other words, if they suspect abuse or neglect, they have a legal duty to inform child services.

Okay. Hit me with it. Because I'm likely going to get torn to shreds for this post.

[Paul Arsenault]

Ok Here it goes......................

No I am not on my way to pick her up......yet, I have been in contact with her, all these post seem to me like I have not for 3 years, we chat online, we skype, we text and chat on the phone, all of which her mothers knows nothing about because she is fearful she will be yelled at. She had to lie, or her mother would of never put her on the plane, I know this to be a fact, I lived with her for 25 years, I think she is smart enough to decide where she wants to be yes. She never wanted to leave to begin with. Dont think I am being played, she has an older sister who was there for 2 years and left at 18 years old for the same reasons. I have smelled first hand of the cat urine thing when she got here I had to wash all her clothes and bags, Not going to hit you with anything, its all good input to me.