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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    13

    Default How to Defend Myself Against a Protective Order Petition when I Didn't Harass

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: California

    So long story short my future wife's ex husband (who they have children with) is filing a restraining order against me because I told him "he shouldn't do things to make his children hate him", because he was using a typo in a court order to his advantage and taking the children away from Mother on christmas eve, the children were historical and very emotional about it. He is also stating there is a history of harassment because 4 days prior i was at a school performance for the kids and he came up and sat at the same table i was sitting and was playing on his phone very loudly. As the play was about to start I asked him nicely to turn down the volume on his phone and he refused, i asked once more and again he said "no". Later that day he approached me while i was standing in line waiting for food and stood right next to me, I walked away. Again that same day he walked up to me and engaged in conversation with me. He is stating that this caused emotional undue stress to himself and his children and that i interfere with exchanges of the children, which i do not interfere i stay at my car and he stays in his home. He is requesting that the judge enact a 150 Yard stay away order and i feel like i have done nothing. What should i do and what should i say? The court date is in one week. BTW i always try to keep my distance from him he is the one who walks up to me and talks to me, i always walk away from or ignore him.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,384

    Default Re: How to Defend Myself Against a Protective Order Petition when I Didn't Harass

    Requesting a protective order is not the same thing as being granted a protective order. Have you been notified that one has been granted?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: How to Defend Myself Against a Protective Order Petition when I Didn't Harass

    Nothing has been granted yet but I'm afraid this guy is going to try and ruin my life with this restraining order because then anytime i try to go to the kids schools performance and he shows up i have to leave or any time at the 6 year olds baseball game and he shows up I will have to leave. I was thinking maybe i can counter file a restraining order against him to just not talk to me because he has over the past 2.5 years stalked me from house to house, called my cell phone multiple times, stalked my parents, harassed me by calling me names and to this day (up until he filed this restraining order) would walk up to me and try to talk to me and would follow me around the kids school... I just cant believe the judge even allowed this to go through... I'm really at a loss and i dont have money to hire an attorney.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,384

    Default Re: How to Defend Myself Against a Protective Order Petition when I Didn't Harass

    But you just said that nothing's been granted yet. That means a judge didn't allow it to go through; not yet and may not at all. You're assuming that because one was requested it will automatically be granted. That is not the case.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: How to Defend Myself Against a Protective Order Petition when I Didn't Harass

    Well the restraining order was granted by the judge to go to trial, not all of them go to trial, im just curious if you think he might win or should i file a counter restraining order?

    Thanks again.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    20,594

    Default Re: How to Defend Myself Against a Protective Order Petition when I Didn't Harass

    Quote Quoting rtloeffler
    View Post
    Well the restraining order was granted by the judge to go to trial, not all of them go to trial, im just curious if you think he might win or should i file a counter restraining order?

    Thanks again.
    Okay, so, if I understand you right, a temporary order has been issued and served on you and there is a court date pending on the matter? Or, was the temporary NOT granted, but the court scheduled a hearing on the matter anyway?
    **********
    Retired Cal Cop Sergeant & Teacher

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: How to Defend Myself Against a Protective Order Petition when I Didn't Harass

    Sorry i took so long to respond im in the middle of moving.
    The temporary was NOT granted, but the court scheduled a hearing on the matter anyway.

    Thanks again. please help.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    1

    Default Re: How to Defend Myself Against a Protective Order Petition when I Didn't Harass

    I was in a similar, yet reversed position last year in kentucky. I was the petitioner in a PO case against my ex. This is what I learned in KY..
    First of all, if you feel the need for legal representation, contact your local Legal Aide Society. If they are able to help you, great. If not, ask them for a referral to maybe, a local law school. I used a Law Student and she took the case to the judge and the cost was nominal.
    Second, I'm not sure that attempting for a cross-PO is a good idea, it doesn't 'look' good, more like a retribution thing. If you want to bring that past to the light of the judge, you could slant it a bit better by stating 'these are the things he has done, (so long as you have evidence [i.e witness/text documentation/recordings], if you don't have these things, it would be better left unsaid)..but if you do have evidence, bring it to court with you. That includes witness/texts/emails.. print it out if you can, but make your own case. I might go so far as to state that while these things were happening, you were protecting her child(ren). If the judge decides to grant the PO, you might ask for exemption during the children's extra-curricular activites (it basically allows for a temporary break in the PO). It was granted in my case. Make sure that the judge understands you are no threat to those children, and the only problem is between a bitter ex and the new bf. I'm sure the judge will see that and not use that for a basis for granting the PO.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    20,594

    Default Re: How to Defend Myself Against a Protective Order Petition when I Didn't Harass

    Quote Quoting rtloeffler
    View Post
    Sorry i took so long to respond im in the middle of moving.
    The temporary was NOT granted, but the court scheduled a hearing on the matter anyway.

    Thanks again. please help.
    Then you will have the opportunity to present evidence at the hearing.
    **********
    Retired Cal Cop Sergeant & Teacher

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: How to Defend Myself Against a Protective Order Petition when I Didn't Harass

    Quote Quoting C@l@mity
    View Post
    I was in a similar, yet reversed position last year in kentucky. I was the petitioner in a PO case against my ex. This is what I learned in KY..
    First of all, if you feel the need for legal representation, contact your local Legal Aide Society. If they are able to help you, great. If not, ask them for a referral to maybe, a local law school. I used a Law Student and she took the case to the judge and the cost was nominal.
    Second, I'm not sure that attempting for a cross-PO is a good idea, it doesn't 'look' good, more like a retribution thing. If you want to bring that past to the light of the judge, you could slant it a bit better by stating 'these are the things he has done, (so long as you have evidence [i.e witness/text documentation/recordings], if you don't have these things, it would be better left unsaid)..but if you do have evidence, bring it to court with you. That includes witness/texts/emails.. print it out if you can, but make your own case. I might go so far as to state that while these things were happening, you were protecting her child(ren). If the judge decides to grant the PO, you might ask for exemption during the children's extra-curricular activites (it basically allows for a temporary break in the PO). It was granted in my case. Make sure that the judge understands you are no threat to those children, and the only problem is between a bitter ex and the new bf. I'm sure the judge will see that and not use that for a basis for granting the PO.
    KY ain't in CA.

    Now, how was the OP protecting the children?

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