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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
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    6

    Question Denial of a Restraining Order to Keep My Child Away From My Ex's Fiancée

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: Indiana!
    Breaking down a long story into a shorter version.
    My son's father & I (haven't been together for years) are currently having major problems. The biggest problem is his fiance, which enjoys making things very difficult for him and I to parent our child together. Because I asked his dad to help me with watching our son during his holiday break so I can work (he doesn't work right now) turned into a huge mess. The huge mess = he & his girlfriend calling me names and saying hateful comments about me in front of my son while they were texting me until 1 in the morning.. Getting into a argument with his father outside of my front door because I asked why he was being so hateful towards me. While arguing, his girlfriend got out of their car (which was in my driveway) yelling, screaming and saying every curse word possible. I told her a few times to get back in her car and mind her own business or to get off my property. After having enough of the fighting a made a comment about the lack of class they have, at that point the girlfriend came after me. She swung a few times but missed.
    Next, they took my son and left with him. I called the police to get my son back home, which worked. My son came home crying, so of course I sat him down to talk to him. My son then let everything out which killed me!
    He told me when his dad's girlfriend gets angry with him, she hits him. On the bottom, arms, legs and back of his head. He told me she's angry a lot and he's scared of her. Now even more scared of her, I-not knowing, my son was looking out of the window when the girlfriend tried to hit me.
    I filed for a protective order on behalf of my son against her (not his father), report to CPS, set-up counseling for my son and so on..... The protection order was denied! I CANNOT wrap my head around the idea of someone not seeing this as abuse. My son is terrified to go over there!!
    Here's the knowledge I need.... What could/will happen if I don't allow my son to go over there on his dad's weekend? Can I do anything about the order being denied?
    As stated, I'm not trying to keep him from his dad, just the girlfriend. They live together so I know she'll be there.
    The county court house told me I have to take his dad back to court to fight to get his visitation changed, which would take months... 1.) I'm not trying keeping my son from his dad... 2.) That does not make sense at all in this case.

    I don't understand... Parents are supposed to protect their children, but doing so can get the parent in trouble with the law?
    Please someone help me.... I'm lost on what to do at this point..

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: Knowledge on My Rights As a Mom of a Minor Who Needs a Protective Order

    You really need to tread carefully here, Mom. You are actually antagonizing the situation by reacting that way to Dad's fiance.

    That's not saying she's done nothing wrong - but rather, she's not the only one who did so.

    Were you given a reason for the denial?

    At this point, you really cannot withhold the child.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Knowledge on My Rights As a Mom of a Minor Who Needs a Protective Order

    May I ask how I'm antagonizing this situation? I would think if any parent were told from their child they're being hit. They would react the same. It's my job as his mother to protect him.
    Don't think this has anything to do with "being typical women", I've bought grocery for this women's family a few months ago when they had no money, I've gave their daughter clothes, I loaned her my school books to save her money.
    I'm not a hateful person. I go above and beyond to help others. So this isn't 2 women, just being crazy. All of us got along great just 3 weeks ago.
    Honestly, I don't see how I'm antagonizing anything in this situation.
    I was told in my county I can't put an order against her because she's not related to my son and the only thing I can do is take his father back to court to flight to get his visitation changed. Again, I'm not trying to keep him from his father, just the person my son says hits him.
    Please explain......

  4. #4
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    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: Knowledge on My Rights As a Mom of a Minor Who Needs a Protective Order

    You antagonized the situation by engaging in the fiancee's nonsense. I do understand, but seriously you need to rise above it because there are two people there who will testify that you started the whole thing.

    See where I'm going here?

    (I have no idea where you're getting "typical woman" from)

    So let's clarify: what has CPS done at this point?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    WV
    Posts
    230

    Default Re: Knowledge on My Rights As a Mom of a Minor Who Needs a Protective Order

    If you deny the father his court ordered visitation without just cause you can face a Contempt Charge.

    Apparently the court did not feel there was sufficient information supplied in order to issue a Protective Order or the girlfriend is actually not living with your ex.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Knowledge on My Rights As a Mom of a Minor Who Needs a Protective Order

    Here's the facts:

    "To file a protective order, you must have a qualifying relationship with the individual you are filing the protective order against (respondent) such as husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend or related by blood or marriage and/or be victim of sexual offense or stalking."
    -The reason my county did not grant the protective order is due to the facts: Clearly my son is not in a relationship with the respondent, my son is not blood related or related by marriage to the respondent, and this case does not involve sexual offense or stalking...
    I can't wrap my head around why the law is this way, but it is.

    Second: (From Parenting Guidelines)
    "Unacceptable excuses for one parent denying parenting time to the other include the following"
    "The child unjustifiably hesitates or refuses to go." ------- Being abused is justifiable, without question.

    So, for the comments stating I'm "withholding" my son from his father.... After finding the above info., plus a few other laws, I then called the court house and legal aid. Both calls I made and going over the information/laws I found, I'm not withholding my son and I'm doing nothing against the law..
    IN FACT: If I DID let my son go to his dad's house this weekend, that would be doing wrong in the eyes of the law... It's called "Failure to Protect a child."

    Just letting you know these facts... Before telling another concerned parent they're breaking the law... I suggest looking more into each states guidelines. Thank you!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    387

    Default Re: Knowledge on My Rights As a Mom of a Minor Who Needs a Protective Order

    Sounds like there was an issue with the facts of the case. Generally, the petitioner must testify to the facts of the case as they have direct knowledge of those facts. With minors, this is complicated by parental rights and the fact that many jurisdictions bar minors from the courtroom regardless of their status.

    Your best bet is probably to amend the custody agreement to address the fiancee. CPS may determine that an actionable cause exists or they may not. They might not even bother to investigate at all. Getting CPS involved does tend to antagonize other people involved in custodial disagreements.

  8. #8
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Knowledge on My Rights As a Mom of a Minor Who Needs a Protective Order

    Quote Quoting aspence10
    View Post
    Here's the facts:

    "To file a protective order, you must have a qualifying relationship with the individual you are filing the protective order against (respondent) such as husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend or related by blood or marriage and/or be victim of sexual offense or stalking."
    -The reason my county did not grant the protective order is due to the facts: Clearly my son is not in a relationship with the respondent, my son is not blood related or related by marriage to the respondent, and this case does not involve sexual offense or stalking...
    I can't wrap my head around why the law is this way, but it is.

    Second: (From Parenting Guidelines)
    "Unacceptable excuses for one parent denying parenting time to the other include the following"
    "The child unjustifiably hesitates or refuses to go." ------- Being abused is justifiable, without question.

    So, for the comments stating I'm "withholding" my son from his father.... After finding the above info., plus a few other laws, I then called the court house and legal aid. Both calls I made and going over the information/laws I found, I'm not withholding my son and I'm doing nothing against the law..
    IN FACT: If I DID let my son go to his dad's house this weekend, that would be doing wrong in the eyes of the law... It's called "Failure to Protect a child."

    Just letting you know these facts... Before telling another concerned parent they're breaking the law... I suggest looking more into each states guidelines. Thank you!

    I suggest you actually read the RELEVANT law.

    Here it is for you.

    http://www.in.gov/legislative/ic/201.../ar26/ch5.html

    We know that nobody at the court-house told you anything even vaguely similar to what you're claiming.

    Would you like to try again?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Knowledge on My Rights As a Mom of a Minor Who Needs a Protective Order

    Yesterday I took my son to a children's counselor, so he can talk to someone other than myself about anything and everything that's going on in his life. The past year has been very difficult for him, so as his mother I felt seeing someone was a must. Since the problems with his father & his father's fiance started, my son hardly eats, he's very emotional and sleeps a lot, which is not him at all. No child should have to go though depression at such a young age.

    My son shared the same information he did with me, with the counselor. State law, the counselor had to report what she was told. CPS called me last night to make sure I did not allow my son to go over to his dad's house for the weekend. CPS is investigating this case, I have a meeting at my home this coming week with a caseworker.

    Some may not agree with what I'm doing, but I will not take a chance. Taking a chance of my son being on the news because his father's girlfriend lost her temper to the max. As I told the caseworker, if I'm breaking the law I'll go to jail, but I'm being the protective mother I should be. The caseworker said, you're doing what you have to do by law.

    Btw, when I called his father yesterday nicely explaining why our son will not be going over to his home this weekend. His father defended his fiance by say, "I'm not saying she's not in the wrong, but one one is perfect. She has a bad temper." And he's father didn't seem to care he wasn't going to see our son this weekend. I will truly now tomorrow if he cares about his son... Our son's birthday is tomorrow. I hope is does call him, if he doesn't, that will crush my son's heart.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Knowledge on My Rights As a Mom of a Minor Who Needs a Protective Order

    Stop. Just stop. Stop with the imaginary counselor, stop with the imaginary CPS person calling you to make sure this or that. Stop making up stories.

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