Husband Wants to Move Out of State, I Don't Want To

[FatherKnowsBest]

I agree. The poster made the assumption that because he kept losing jobs that he was the primary caregiver. That is never a wise assumption to make.

I asked the OP if she was working so that i could confirm or deny that assumption. This statement by her seems to imply that he was spending a great deal of time at home caring for the children.

he has been unemployed more than he has been employed.

All we can comment on here is the information provided by the OP. There was nothing posted to say she was the primary caregiver and only the quote above to deduce that he may be. So, i believe it was a fair assumption, based on the information provided. Yes, we can all guess and make up stories that will imply otherwise, but if we are going strictly based off the information provided, he is primarily caring for the children.

[llworking]

I asked the OP if she was working so that i could confirm or deny that assumption. This statement by her seems to imply that he was spending a great deal of time at home caring for the children.


All we can comment on here is the information provided by the OP. There was nothing posted to say she was the primary caregiver and only the quote above to deduce that he may be. So, i believe it was a fair assumption, based on the information provided. Yes, we can all guess and make up stories that will imply otherwise, but if we are going strictly based off the information provided, he is primarily caring for the children.

Again, I disagree. We don't know the ages of the children, we don't know the hours that mom works, we don't know if the children still go to daycare even when dad is unemployed, we literally don't know anything at all the indicates whether either parent is the primary caretaker because none of that information has been given in this thread. You made an assumption. On top of that, based on how often they have made major moves, its pretty clear that mom hasn't had the opportunity to make a major career path either...its pretty clear that the moves have been for dad's job opportunities.

[FatherKnowsBest]

Again, I disagree.

That's understandable, i'm just going on what i read. I don't know the OP or her soon to be ex, so i don't know for sure either way. What from her post gave you the impression that she was the primary caregiver? Maybe i missed something.

[Dogmatique]

This is what Montana has to say on the subject:

Montana:

(1) A parent who intends to change residence shall, unless precluded under 40- 4-234, provide written notice to the other parent.
(2) If a parent's change in residence will significantly affect the child's contact with the other parent, notice must be served personally or given by certified mail not less than 30 days before the proposed change in residence and must include a proposed revised residential schedule. Proof of service must be filed with the court that adopted the parenting plan. Failure of the parent who receives notice to respond to the written notice or to seek amendment of the residential schedule pursuant to 40-4-219 within the 30-day period constitutes acceptance of the proposed revised residential schedule. Mont. Code Ann. § 40-4-217.

In other words, the non-relocating parent has the burden of proof.

Colorado says this:

In re Marriage of Ciesluk, 2004 WL 1117900 (Colo. Ct. App. 2004) (holding that Colorado relocation statute as amended no longer contained presumption in favor of custodial parent);

In other words, there's no presumption for or against - best interest becomes the controlling factor.

[drthyrd]

Whoa - sometimes I forget posting history is important. OP's first post appears to indicate he got a woman pregnant. OP is one of the miraculous purple unicorns - a true he/she

[Dogmatique]

I'm also guilty of not checking post hx.

Ooops!

[hagen]

I'm sorry, I was away from the computer for a few days and missed all of the above.
Two Things:
1) My first post was for a close friend of mine, whom I was concerned about. He didn't want to talk to a lawyer, and I wanted him to know his rights. I posted it as my own because I didn't want people to think it was the old "I have this friend..." routine. It is completely unrelated to my life or circumstance.
2) My husband was not the primary care giver. I was. I was the main income provider while I was pregnant with our first. I have not worked since giving birth. I have been 100% Mom. Even during his lengthy lay-offs he did almost nothing to help with kid/s. The moves were because he insisted that he would/could provide. He would get very angry when I talked about working. And with all the moves it would have been difficult. All of his work troubles were always someone else's fault and could be fixed by a new job or new location. I believed and went along for too long (Yes, that was my fault.) All of this leads to my previous statement about being unwilling to continue in this lifestyle and why I am heading for a divorce.
We have been in our present location for about a year and I have made connections in this community. I also could find work here, which is another reason I am not keen on moving away. If I was to move, I would only want to go back to where I have family support.
Mostly what I wanted to know was: could I stay here, or move back to Oregon, without him being able to take the kids. And if moving to CO would be worse long term.
Hopefully this clarifies a few things.
Thank you, again, for your time.

[Dogmatique]

Reread LLworking's response.

She's spot on