Going to Court Over Custody

[acm1134]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida

The biological father of my 3 year old has had little to no involvement in her life. My daughter knows my husband as her "daddy" as he has been there since she was a little over 1. Now her bio father's mother and father have had involvement in her life and she knows they are her grandparents. A little over a year ago, my husband and I relocated from FL to NC and we told the bio father and he said okay that is fine. He said he wasn't going to pursue any court or legal involvement for custody/visitation but the day before we moved, I was served with papers for custody/ visitation. He stated his father has paid for his lawyer and he was the one pushing for him to file for some kind of visitation. That happened back last November and the case was at a standstill since January. As of a few weeks ago, I received a parenting plan from his lawyer. Let me just add that we haven't heard from him (call, text, mail, any attempt) in the last 6 months so we just assumed he let it go and that was that. Even before that, his attempts were rare to non existent. We are unsure where to go from here. The bio dad doesn't pay child support, hasn't actively helped raise her at all, and has really just been in the shadows for the last 2 and a half years. My husband wants to adopt her as his own seeing as she knows him as the father figure in her life. I assume I will be scheduled a mediation in FL and then possibly court. What are my chances of the judge taking in account all of the fact that he hasn't been involved ? I have phone records, bank records, and I have kept a calendar of any and all attempt contact from her bio dad so we would be able to show this in court. At this point I haven't invested in a lawyer, would it be recommended if we end up having to take this to court ? If I don't have representation, would it basically be me against the lawyer ? Also, in NC we have enough to prove abandonment to allow my husband to adopt so we are wondering should we just go ahead and attempt that process ? Thanks in advance !

[SuperPop]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida

As of a few weeks ago, I received a parenting plan from his lawyer.

Has paternity been established? (Important question)
What did the parenting plan you received outline as far as amount of time for him?
Did the Parenting plan say anything about 'move aways', 'address changes' or 'radius'?

BTW: Having your child call your husband 'daddy' is looked VERY poorly on by the courts, IF paternity has been established, your child has ONE LEGAL daddy, and that is NOT you husband. I have PERSONALLY seen major sanctions put forward in cases in which mothers did this. In one extreme cases i saw, the mother refused to stop even after the judge warned her, it lead to the father getting Full Legal custody(if i remember correctly, he got Joint Physical). In a lesser case it was used as 'contempt' and the father was able to increase his parenting time because of it(not significantly, but he got everything he asked for, he wanted additional after school time). So, DON'T DO THAT!

[aardvarc]

Is dad not paying support that he has been ordered to pay by a COURT? Or is there no child support order? If the latter, then dad's lack of payment means nothing. If the former, what steps have been taken to have dad held in contempt?

[llworking]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida

The biological father of my 3 year old has had little to no involvement in her life. My daughter knows my husband as her "daddy" as he has been there since she was a little over 1. Now her bio father's mother and father have had involvement in her life and she knows they are her grandparents. A little over a year ago, my husband and I relocated from FL to NC and we told the bio father and he said okay that is fine. He said he wasn't going to pursue any court or legal involvement for custody/visitation but the day before we moved, I was served with papers for custody/ visitation. He stated his father has paid for his lawyer and he was the one pushing for him to file for some kind of visitation. That happened back last November and the case was at a standstill since January. As of a few weeks ago, I received a parenting plan from his lawyer. Let me just add that we haven't heard from him (call, text, mail, any attempt) in the last 6 months so we just assumed he let it go and that was that. Even before that, his attempts were rare to non existent. We are unsure where to go from here. The bio dad doesn't pay child support, hasn't actively helped raise her at all, and has really just been in the shadows for the last 2 and a half years. My husband wants to adopt her as his own seeing as she knows him as the father figure in her life. I assume I will be scheduled a mediation in FL and then possibly court. What are my chances of the judge taking in account all of the fact that he hasn't been involved ? I have phone records, bank records, and I have kept a calendar of any and all attempt contact from her bio dad so we would be able to show this in court. At this point I haven't invested in a lawyer, would it be recommended if we end up having to take this to court ? If I don't have representation, would it basically be me against the lawyer ? Also, in NC we have enough to prove abandonment to allow my husband to adopt so we are wondering should we just go ahead and attempt that process ? Thanks in advance !

No, you absolutely should not attempt a stepparent adoption in NC when there is a pending custody/visitation case in FL. The FL case officially cancels out any abandonment grounds that might normally be available to you.

Clearly its not dad who is interested in the child, its the grandparents. However, that doesn't change the fact that dad WILL get some sort of visitation with the child, so you need to be prepared to accept that.

[acm1134]

Paternity was established when he signed the birth certificate (im assuming) and when I responded to the initial papers sent from his attorney, I stated that I acknowledge he is the bio father without needing paternity. He is basically asking for all of summer vacation spring break and Christmas break. As for 'move aways', 'address changes' or 'radius', just basically states that I have to let him know if I do any of these, nothing says I can't do any of them. There was never a problem with us moving on his terms and nothing legal was ever set up so that we couldn't move. Also as for the whole 'daddy' thing, her bio dad likes my husband and agrees he is a good father figure to her. He knows she calls him dad ( which she took up on her own ) and has never had a problem with this. I don't see him trying to push that. I can only hope they won't try to use this against me in court seeing as it's never been an issue before.

- - - Updated - - -

I figured that much so we will just wait and see how things are after this case is closed.
The parenting plan he sent me states he wants split custody. In mediation I plan on asking him for sole custody, seeing as he lives in Fl and has never made any decisions for her to begin with. Also, I plan on asking to reduce the time for summer break to where he can have her for 2 or 3 weeks so I can have time with her too. I honestly don't see him following through with any of this for longer than a year or so. She has never been his interest so I know just because he has court ordered visitation he probably won't try to make the effort.

[SuperPop]

He's not the Bio-dad he's the legal father, the ONLY father this child has, get over yourself, if you pull that crap in court in front of a judge, or HIS lawyer finds out you have the child call your husband dad, they will shut you down FAST, it is NOT ok. What he's asking for is not unreasonable, in the school district i live in summer is 12 weeks, while the whole summer is a bit much, i think 4-6 consecutive weeks is extremely reasonable(Think all of July) considering right now he is giving up seeing the child anytime he wants and with YOU moving away, i hope he is asking you to pay all travel expenses also.