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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Petition for Full Custody After Increased Child Support Order

    Okay, thanks. For a minute I was wondered if this was a new spouse being slightly miffed because her husband has to pay cs.

    CS was ordered 2 months ago.

    Dad files for full custody very soon afterwards.

    Based purely on what you've said here, I can see a judge being more than a little peeved at Dad's game. The timing is almost joke-worthy.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    California
    Posts
    10

    Default Re: Petition for Full Custody After Increased Child Support Order

    Thank you for these words:

    "A parent who bullies the other parent generally isn't going to stop if the other parent caves - s/he is going to get worse.

    I do understand where you're coming from, but in this situation Dad is more concerned with hurting Mom and/or getting his own way than he is about the actual child.

    Based purely on what's been written here, he'd get worse before he got better."

    I've always told myself that even though we have failed as husband and wife, there is no reason for us to fail as parents. That's why I have, all these years, been very passive and forbearing towards my ex-husband. It was all for the sake of our son. Obviously, this very "idealistic" view got me here.

    You're right ~ An intelligent hell is better than a stupid paradise.

    Thanks, again. P.S. I'm glad you never had to use the words "gettin jiggy" on my thread. I read your other post. =)

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    229

    Default Re: Petition for Full Custody After Increased Child Support Order

    Quote Quoting iamhismom
    View Post
    Since he's moved 60 miles away last year, he has changed his "alternate weekends" from "Friday night- Sunday afternoon" to "Saturday noon to Sunday noon". That means our son has only been having one "overnight" with his father every 2 weeks. Father also requested that I meet him halfway bec of the distance and gas cost. Although the court order is for him to provide all transportation during his visitation, I have been meeting him halfway just for our son to see him. Those times I declined to meet him halfway, he missed his visitations. He then blamed me and accused me of being a bad mother for not "helping" him see his son. I do not know how much more leeway I can give him.
    This changes things, 60 miles is an hours drive, with no traffic, its takes a week in some parts of Cali and he hasn't been using the visitation he already has. If all he wants to do is see the kid on Saturdays and you can prove to the courts this is all he's been using, you should be counter filing to reduce his time. Let his actions smack him in the face, hopefully it will wake him up and show him how his actions effect his child.

    BTW: there is nothing wrong with you driving part way, as the primary custodian, its part of your 'job description' to help facilitate a relationship between the child and the other parent.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Petition for Full Custody After Increased Child Support Order

    Oh good grief.

    No, Pop, we don't counterfile just for the hell of it.

    There is no NEED to do so in this case.

    And yeah, Dad should be driving the whole way - he created the distance.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    229

    Default Re: Petition for Full Custody After Increased Child Support Order

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    And yeah, Dad should be driving the whole way - he created the distance.
    I agree, legally, dad should be driving the whole way since he DID create the distance, dad can NOT compel mom to do that driving. But, it will only help avoid conflict between the parents if mom offers to do some of the driving. Sometimes, Dogmatique, 'do unto others as you want them to do unto you' should be thought of, simple social graces and flexibility are NOT a bad thing.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Petition for Full Custody After Increased Child Support Order

    Quote Quoting SuperPop
    View Post
    This changes things, 60 miles is an hours drive, with no traffic, its takes a week in some parts of Cali and he hasn't been using the visitation he already has. If all he wants to do is see the kid on Saturdays and you can prove to the courts this is all he's been using, you should be counter filing to reduce his time. Let his actions smack him in the face, hopefully it will wake him up and show him how his actions effect his child.

    BTW: there is nothing wrong with you driving part way, as the primary custodian, its part of your 'job description' to help facilitate a relationship between the child and the other parent.
    That is BAD advice. There is no reason why one parent should have to undergo financial expense due to the choices made by the other parent.

    You are raising a daughter. Do you intend to teach her to stand up to bullies, or do you intend to teach her to give the bully what they want to keep the peace?

    You are raising a daughter yourself. I hope that when she is a teenager you don't regret the examples that you are setting for her.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    229

    Default Re: Petition for Full Custody After Increased Child Support Order

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    You are raising a daughter. Do you intend to teach her to stand up to bullies, or do you intend to teach her to give the bully what they want to keep the peace?

    You are raising a daughter yourself. I hope that when she is a teenager you don't regret the examples that you are setting for her.
    Bullies? Or to help people in need and have compassion for a child? This is a hard drive for anyone, especially a child. Have a little compassion, would your child be more comfortable sitting in one car for an hour straight between homes, or a 1/2 hour with mom and a 1/2 hour with dad. I hope i can raise my daughter with some Empathy!

    You guys are so stuck on trying to screw the other parent you have trouble seeing that there are children involved here! A little common courtesy goes a LONG way in these kinds of situations!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Petition for Full Custody After Increased Child Support Order

    Quote Quoting SuperPop
    View Post
    Bullies? Or to help people in need and have compassion for a child? This is a hard drive for anyone, especially a child. Have a little compassion, would your child be more comfortable sitting in one car for an hour straight between homes, or a 1/2 hour with mom and a 1/2 hour with dad. I hope i can raise my daughter with some Empathy!

    You guys are so stuck on trying to screw the other parent you have trouble seeing that there are children involved here! A little common courtesy goes a LONG way in these kinds of situations!
    Oh come on here...this has nothing to do with being compassionate towards a child. A one hour drive for the child is a one hour drive whether its 1/2 of the way in one car and 1/2 of the way in another or all in one car.

    This is about dad being a bully. I am sad that you cannot see that.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Petition for Full Custody After Increased Child Support Order

    Quote Quoting SuperPop
    View Post
    Bullies? Or to help people in need and have compassion for a child? This is a hard drive for anyone, especially a child. Have a little compassion, would your child be more comfortable sitting in one car for an hour straight between homes, or a 1/2 hour with mom and a 1/2 hour with dad. I hope i can raise my daughter with some Empathy!

    You guys are so stuck on trying to screw the other parent you have trouble seeing that there are children involved here! A little common courtesy goes a LONG way in these kinds of situations!

    I guess married parents have a whole bunch of misery to deal with when they're taking the kids to that recreation park an hour away.

    Hell's bells, that time in the car can be excellent bonding time between the child and parent.

    We're not stuck on screwing anyone, Pop. Be careful that you're not blinding yourself and harming your child with your agenda though. "Best interest" and all that.

    (Your reference to flexibility was admittedly laugh-worthy coming from you )

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    California
    Posts
    10

    Default Re: Petition for Full Custody After Increased Child Support Order

    The NCP's demand for me to drive or meet him halfway ONLY came about right after the CS modification 2 mos ago. In fact his first message to me right after the hearing was "Since you were awarded more money, you have to drop *** off here or meet me halfway. Because of you I can no longer afford to pick him up."

    I was able to grant the NCP's request a few times. The other times I couldn't do it, he totally missed his visitations.

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