Quote Quoting my3sons
They have also contacted family and friends ...They also are harrassing me to ask a friend or family member for the money (me to borrow) to pay this debt.
You should review this article on your rights under the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act.

Quote Quoting my3sons
Since I am willing to work with them on a payment plan, can they still sue me and take me to court?
Yes.

Quote Quoting my3sons
Can they freeze or access my bank account or garnish any wages from my part time employment without taking me to court?
Generally no. Depending upon your state law, they may be restricted in those remedies even after they get a judgment.

Quote Quoting my3sons
If they eventually decide to work with me, do I have to give them the electronic transfer of funds from my bank account or do they have to accept a mailed check or money order on a monthly basis?
You can work out any settlement you choose. If they make electronic transfer a condition of settlement, and you don't agree to that term, it is possible that settlement negotiations would fail.