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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    24

    Default Can I Get a Different Judge if I Don't Think the Court's Decision Was Fair

    Hello everyone, and thank you in advance for any input and advice.

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: New York

    I am a considerable sized male, medium build.

    I also have a spouse with alcohol abuse issues. Taking anti-depressants with alcohol, and not coming home until whenever.

    My wife has abused me (as I refuse to fight back), and also has abused the pets. Up until now, I never reported it. But things seem to be escalating. And my fear is that the children are next on the list.

    I applied for a restraining order against my wife (a little more than half my weight and about a foot shorter than I). I listed the incidents involving myself as well as the pets. I also listed that my wife may be suicidal and may harm the children. Her words (in a text).

    When I walked into the courtroom, I was sworn in, and after going over the 'name, address' stuff, the judge asked how tall I was and my weight, and I answered. He then asked how tall and weight my wife was. And I answered.

    "Mr. Roy, you want me to believe that you are afraid of someone half your size ?"
    "Your honor, I am concerned about my children at this point. And I have never or would never put a hand on my wife in anger."

    This judge had his mind made up as soon as I walked into the courtroom.

    I'm wondering if I can go back and see another judge ?

    Is this possible ?

    Any input and advice is appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    229

    Default Re: The Judge Looked at My Size and Not the Facts, Can I Get Another Judge to Review

    These were old instances that you were requesting a current restraining order for. Nothing recent had happened.

    How tall are you and how much do you weigh? The issue isn't your size, in this case, it's that there was no recent events.

    What is a "Be Nice" order btw?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: The Judge Looked at My Size and Not the Facts, Can I Get Another Judge to Review

    It appears your recourse is to leave before something happens and you become a victim of the Federal gov'ts "prosecute the male" monetary police incentive program.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: The Judge Looked at My Size and Not the Facts, Can I Get Another Judge to Review

    if you were granted this order, who was going to move out of the house; you or her?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    24

    Default Re: The Judge Looked at My Size and Not the Facts, Can I Get Another Judge to Review

    Quote Quoting SuperPop
    View Post
    These were old instances that you were requesting a current restraining order for. Nothing recent had happened.

    How tall are you and how much do you weigh? The issue isn't your size, in this case, it's that there was no recent events.

    What is a "Be Nice" order btw?
    6'4", about 250 lbs. Spouse is 5'5", around 130 lbs.

    It's not a vacate order. She stays in the house. And we be civil to each other.

    So at this point, this paper does nothing to protect my children.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting jk
    View Post
    if you were granted this order, who was going to move out of the house; you or her?
    Her.

    I am currently the primary caregiver for the children.

    I am a stay-at-home dad. Due to medical issues.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting Disagreeable
    View Post
    It appears your recourse is to leave before something happens and you become a victim of the Federal gov'ts "prosecute the male" monetary police incentive program.
    If it were just us, I would have been gone a while ago.

    My children are my concern at this point.

    But I don't know where to go from here.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I am having divorce papers served this week.

    I was trying to coincide the restraining order with the divorce papers.

    Because I don't know what she will do when she is served.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: The Judge Looked at My Size and Not the Facts, Can I Get Another Judge to Review

    Take them with you.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    24

    Default Re: The Judge Looked at My Size and Not the Facts, Can I Get Another Judge to Review

    Quote Quoting Disagreeable
    View Post
    Take them with you.
    You're right.

    I was hoping to have her removed (vacate order) so the kids were not uprooted.

    This judge just burns my britches. If he had said that 'because there are no recent events', I could have gone with that.

    His big thing was all about my size versus her size.

    But push comes to shove, we are leaving.

    Any other suggestions and advice are helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    229

    Default Re: The Judge Looked at My Size and Not the Facts, Can I Get Another Judge to Review

    If you leave she will get primary access to the home, she will request that the children are returned to 'the only home they've ever known' and depending on age 'so that they can continue in school where they have built friendships and a relationship with the community'

    You will end up with a temporary order for EOW and she will have time to establish primary custody through status quo as some of these divorce/custody cases can take up to 2 years to complete.

    The FIRST RULE of divorce, don't move out!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    24

    Default Re: The Judge Looked at My Size and Not the Facts, Can I Get Another Judge to Review

    Quote Quoting SuperPop
    View Post
    If you leave she will get primary access to the home, she will request that the children are returned to 'the only home they've ever known' and depending on age 'so that they can continue in school where they have built friendships and a relationship with the community'

    You will end up with a temporary order for EOW and she will have time to establish primary custody through status quo as some of these divorce/custody cases can take up to 2 years to complete.

    The FIRST RULE of divorce, don't move out!
    Ages are 5,9, and 11. So yeah, that's what she'd come back with.

    And that's my other concern. Is taking them out of harm's way, and having that come back to bite me.

    But she's never home. Work is one thing, but this constantly being out with friends at all hours of the day and night. I think (barring sleep) she's logged in roughly 20 hours with the kids this MONTH !!!

    Who takes care of the kids ? ME !!

    (Sigh)

    So. How do I get her out ?

    EDIT:
    The house is in my name only. But we purchased it during the marriage.
    Don't know if that makes a difference.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: The Judge Looked at My Size and Not the Facts, Can I Get Another Judge to Review

    Quote Quoting SuperPop
    View Post
    If you leave she will get primary access to the home, she will request that the children are returned to 'the only home they've ever known' and depending on age 'so that they can continue in school where they have built friendships and a relationship with the community'

    You will end up with a temporary order for EOW and she will have time to establish primary custody through status quo as some of these divorce/custody cases can take up to 2 years to complete.

    The FIRST RULE of divorce, don't move out!

    Dad is a stay-at-home parent. Dad is the primary caregiver. Leaving the home WILL NOT change that unless he waits too long to file. Status quo is actually in his favor at this moment.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting george roy
    View Post
    Ages are 5,9, and 11. So yeah, that's what she'd come back with.

    And that's my other concern. Is taking them out of harm's way, and having that come back to bite me.

    But she's never home. Work is one thing, but this constantly being out with friends at all hours of the day and night. I think (barring sleep) she's logged in roughly 20 hours with the kids this MONTH !!!

    Who takes care of the kids ? ME !!

    (Sigh)

    So. How do I get her out ?
    You don't. What you do is file ASAP. You are the primary caregiver; in this situation that shouldn't change simply because you live somewhere else. You need to focus on the fact that you ARE the primary caregiver.

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