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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
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    14

    Default How Can I Become the Custodial Parent

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: South Carolina


    Hi I posted a long post of all the details in my situation and for the most part everyone is saying everything I mentioned is irrelevant and it really only matters on who the primary care giver was at the time my wife left. We have no domestic violence, abuse, drugs nothing like that. My wife started stripping against my wishes and she just left. She immediately got an attorney and an apartment. This was completely surprising. She has however done it once before when she left me for another guy but we reconciled. She works nights, a lot of them. Now by herself I assume it would be even more nights. She says she wont work the nights she has the kids. I work M-F school hours. I am home by 1 pm and pick up the kids from school every day, do their homework with them prepare dinner, give the littlest one a bath, and tuck them in. The other two children are 11 and 15. Can I possibly be the custodial parent. It just doesn't seem fair that she can up and leave for whatever reason she is doing it and just change the kids routine and stuff. Please let me know what you all think. Thank you Robert

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,890

    Default Re: How Can I Be the Custodial Parent

    Quote Quoting aces*wild
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: South Carolina


    Hi I posted a long post of all the details in my situation and for the most part everyone is saying everything I mentioned is irrelevant and it really only matters on who the primary care giver was at the time my wife left. We have no domestic violence, abuse, drugs nothing like that. My wife started stripping against my wishes and she just left. She immediately got an attorney and an apartment. This was completely surprising. She has however done it once before when she left me for another guy but we reconciled. She works nights, a lot of them. Now by herself I assume it would be even more nights. She says she wont work the nights she has the kids. I work M-F school hours. I am home by 1 pm and pick up the kids from school every day, do their homework with them prepare dinner, give the littlest one a bath, and tuck them in. The other two children are 11 and 15. Can I possibly be the custodial parent. It just doesn't seem fair that she can up and leave for whatever reason she is doing it and just change the kids routine and stuff. Please let me know what you all think. Thank you Robert
    Robert, you aren't going to get any different answers here than you got on that thread.

    You cannot just up and move your children to AZ and expect to have a good outcome. You can file for divorce and to establish custody and to get court permission to relocate your children to AZ. There is no guarantee that you will win, but you can try.

    If you stay put here you have a decent shot at primary custody, but you will have an issue with your working hours, as you will not be available from 3:30 AM or so each day. So you are more likely to end up with a form of shared custody...and you are going to have to figure out, on your custody days, how to provide for the children's care from 3:30 AM until they go to school.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: How Can I Be the Custodial Parent

    (There's no reason to start a new thread)

    I suspect that once hit with a custody suit, she'll suddenly stop working so much and play the "I'm the caregiver/best option" card.

    There is a complication you mention here that I don't believe was mentioned in the other thread: the ages of the children.

    The older they get, the less important "I'm with them every night" becomes. You really, really, really need an attorney here. What was first believed to be something of an ace up your sleeve might not be at all.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
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    14

    Default Re: How Can I Be the Custodial Parent

    Yes, Im sorry, I am not planning on Arizona anymore. I was meaning if I stayed here. My 15 year old gets up with the 11 year old and 6 year old to help them get ready for school each day.

  5. #5
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    Oct 2006
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    15,890

    Default Re: How Can I Be the Custodial Parent

    Quote Quoting aces*wild
    View Post
    Yes, Im sorry, I am not planning on Arizona anymore. I was meaning if I stayed here. My 15 year old gets up with the 11 year old and 6 year old to help them get ready for school each day.
    That is not what you said previously. What you said previously was that you had to miss work sometimes because your wife never came home. This is a prime example of why you must be very careful what you say and how you proceed. If you are not planning on AZ...then good. At a minimum you should be able to get shared custody, and you have a shot at primary.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
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    14

    Default Re: How Can I Be the Custodial Parent

    There was something that happened that I just found out about. Not sure if it is relevant or not. Well Wednesday night when my wife didn't come home, the next morning I went into her club and told the manager she was missing and didn't make it home and that she finally texted me around 630am and told me she was too drunk to drive home. I told them that she is my wife and we have 3 children and if they let her leave that way again I will do everything in my power to contact whoever I need to in order to complain or seek legal action. Well I found out they fired my wife. They told her they don't want these types of "family" issues to interfere with that place. My wife is very angry with me to say the least. She says I hope your happy because now I have no money and no way to work. She says now she may have to find another club or go out of town to work. She is MAD!!!! Is this bad for me? I haven't received any process server documents yet, she was supposed to file something yesterday but she never mentioned if she did. Is there a move for me now? Again I have no desire or plans to keep our children from her. I do not however want them to live with her, even half the time. Please let me know if anyone has any suggestions. Thank you very much.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    228

    Default Re: How Can I Be the Custodial Parent

    Seriously.. STOP trying to paint a bad picture of mom and start figuring out what YOU can do for the children. WHY are they better off with you? What can you provide? And really? Quit assumming things. Your wife told you she was too drunk to drive via text at 6:30am. Why did you go to her place of employment and blame them? How do you know if your wife was even truthful? Maybe she just wanted you off her back and didn't want to come home so she made it up? Maybe she left the club at 1am and partied with friends or maybe just simply sat in the car by herself drinking her "juice" in the water bottle. Who knows? Just take care of your kids and figure out a plan for them.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: How Can I Be the Custodial Parent

    Ok I understand that. BUT my point was she doesn't have a job!! Im just asking if the court looks at that. That's all. Thank you.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,890

    Default Re: How Can I Be the Custodial Parent

    Quote Quoting aces*wild
    View Post
    There was something that happened that I just found out about. Not sure if it is relevant or not. Well Wednesday night when my wife didn't come home, the next morning I went into her club and told the manager she was missing and didn't make it home and that she finally texted me around 630am and told me she was too drunk to drive home. I told them that she is my wife and we have 3 children and if they let her leave that way again I will do everything in my power to contact whoever I need to in order to complain or seek legal action. Well I found out they fired my wife. They told her they don't want these types of "family" issues to interfere with that place. My wife is very angry with me to say the least. She says I hope your happy because now I have no money and no way to work. She says now she may have to find another club or go out of town to work. She is MAD!!!! Is this bad for me? I haven't received any process server documents yet, she was supposed to file something yesterday but she never mentioned if she did. Is there a move for me now? Again I have no desire or plans to keep our children from her. I do not however want them to live with her, even half the time. Please let me know if anyone has any suggestions. Thank you very much.
    That was an extremely inappropriate things for you to do. You caused you wife to lose her livelihood right at the time that you are getting a divorce. It will be viewed as being deliberate on your part. Expect that to cause you very serious problems in your divorce...particularly in terms of alimony, property division and child support. The was just an incredibly foolish thing to do.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
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    Default Re: How Can I Be the Custodial Parent

    Oh. My. Flippin. God.

    OP - you REALLY did this?!

    You have just shown the court that you care not one whit about co-parenting or what's in the best interests of the children. This can seriously backfire on you - and I mean SERIOUSLY.

    And I'm not even going to start on the "Well, Mom now doesn't have a job so can be a SAHM if she wants - more available to the children than Dad will be" factor.

    The court doesn't care that she's unemployed - the court will care though that you deliberately sabotaged her employment. You may have just handed Mom custody on a little silver plate.

    - - - Updated - - -

    (If it needs to be explained why or how, I'll leave it at "best interests")

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