Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 43
  1. #1

    Default Developmentally Delayed Child Fights Visiting the Non-Custodial Parent

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: TN

    So, step-parent here, and before I begin just want to say there is no parenting plan nor visitation plan for the child and the biological parent.(The biologically parent has also never pursued one)

    Yet, trying to facilitate a relationship with the father and the child.(The mother just wished he drop off the face of the earth, but that's here nor there.) The child hates going over there, and his behavior is getting worse.

    I even posted a video(this behavior is repeatable - link below) of him being dropped off today. At about :32 of the video it jumps to where he is finally out side the car but frantically trying to get back in. What you don't see in the video prior to the 'jump' is the child holding on the seats and falling on the backseat floorboard before he's carried out.

    Just trying to do what's best. I know if we don't make him go over there, they can state we aren't doing what's in the best interest of the child and that could affect custody. Even though the father NEVER calls and probably sees the child once a month, and it's us initiating contact.

    We try to ask the children why he hates going over there. He only states he's mean to him, and nothing to do over there. The child is also developmentally delayed.

    What do you think from the video? What are our options?

    youtube.com/watch?v=B0ouAVNTsBo

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Force Child to Visit Bio Dad

    "I don't know why you are acting like this but I'm not dealing with it"

    that is your problem right there. You have to deal with it because it is your child. Refusing to "deal with it" is what I see as the actual problem.


    "you show that to a judge..I'm going to get into trouble for making him go"


    Nope, you aren't.


    I heard nothing even hinting at you attempting to discover why the child is so resistant to seeing his father. Maybe it's time to find out if there is an actual issue or you make greater efforts to explain to you child that his father is not the Devil and he needs to give him a chance.

    The child is also developmentally delayed.
    then you really need to "deal with it"

  3. #3

    Default Re: Force Child to Visit Bio Dad

    You didn't hear anything because the child always acts like this when goes over there. Just talking about going over there...makes him upset, even before we drive over there. Like I stated before, I already gave the reasons why he doesn't like going over there, or what he states.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Force Child to Visit Bio Dad

    Agreed.

    And if Mom doesn't think the child is picking up on the obvious disdain, she needs to think again.

    With that said, if there is no court order in place technically Mom does not have to allow visitation. She should really consider the benefits and risks of this though. Even without an order, if she suddenly stops visitation the court just may decide that she's in the wrong.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Force Child to Visit Bio Dad

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Agreed.

    And if Mom doesn't think the child is picking up on the obvious disdain, she needs to think again.

    With that said, if there is no court order in place technically Mom does not have to allow visitation. She should really consider the benefits and risks of this though. Even without an order, if she suddenly stops visitation the court just may decide that she's in the wrong.
    We don't speak about him. He doesn't even support the child. Did you see the video? And your advice is to still force the child?!?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Force Child to Visit Bio Dad

    Quote Quoting XxRaVeNxX
    View Post
    You didn't hear anything because the child always acts like this when goes over there. Just talking about going over there...makes him upset, even before we drive over there. Like I stated before, I already gave the reasons why he doesn't like going over there, or what he states.

    I heard the child and the statements are direct quotes I heard you say in the video.


    if those are the reasons, then you need to "deal with this" and investigate as to whether there is any validity to the statements or the child is simply "playing you". Do you ever speak with the father to discuss the issue? Especially since the child is developmentally challenged, I would think that a couple parents could set aside their differences for the best interest of their child.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Force Child to Visit Bio Dad

    Quote Quoting XxRaVeNxX
    View Post
    We don't speak about him. He doesn't even support the child. Did you see the video? And your advice is to still force the child?!?

    What do you think will happen?

    Dad isn't going to lose his parental rights, put it that way. The child WILL be visiting once a court order is in place.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Force Child to Visit Bio Dad

    He's not mature enough to handle it, his response is I don't know. He told me he spanked the child after we left, because the child hit him. (Teaching a child not to hit by hitting)

    Also he has no parental rights, the child was born out of wedlock.

    http://www.state.tn.us/tccy/tnchild/36/36-2-303.htm

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Force Child to Visit Bio Dad

    He told me he spanked the child after we left, because the child hit him
    .and that is [wrong] [right]?




    XxRaVeNxX;756325]He's not mature enough to handle it, his response is I don't know.
    it sounds like the parents need a parenting class or 2 or 20. Especially given the child's issues, the entire issue is more complicated that a typical child custody/visitation issue.

    Maybe acclimatizing the child to the father at some place the child is more comfortable and less likely to lash out.


    I do understand what you are asking about though and it can be heart wrenching to force a child to do what they don't want to do. I'm not totally heartless. It's just that I see it appears you have already given up on the child. There was no attempt at counseling the child. No attempt to assuage his fears or concerns. You are going to have to work with your child AND the father to get the child over this.

  10. #10

    Default Re: Force Child to Visit Bio Dad

    Counseling the child? There is no coaxing him. Being at our house, just talking about going over there, sends him into a tantrum....that is there no counseling...

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Custody and Visitation Issues: Custodial Parent Wants Child Back After Sending Her to Stay with Non Custodial Parent
    By natosha27 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-26-2013, 09:50 PM
  2. Modification of Support: Paying Child Support to Custodial Parent Child Living with Non-Custodial Parent
    By hedliq in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 08-23-2013, 08:20 PM
  3. Custody and Visitation Issues: What to Do About Problems When Child is Visiting the Non-Custodial Parent
    By Daddio in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-01-2012, 01:50 AM
  4. Illinois Divorce and Opposite Sex Visiting Custodial Parent
    By Asweeney in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-07-2009, 04:49 AM
  5. Guardianship: Co-Guardianship Issues With Developmentally Delayed Adult Child
    By kdw404 in forum Disability and Elder Law
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 05-11-2007, 05:23 AM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources