What an idiot. You claim dad is the problem and given the possibility to remedy the problem, you say you do not want to remedy the problem if it means dad doesn't suffer.
You are either a troll or a situating person that has no business being around anybody's children in a quasi parental position. It would appear you are the problem in all of this.
and the reference to defacatilon:
The statement, in less PC terms is: shit or get off the pot.
it means: either get busy taking care of business or get out of the way so you are 't impeding anybody else that needs to take care of business