Hi everyone,
I am on an F1 visa since 2009 and will complete my PhD by the end of 2014. My long term girlfriend (who is also my cousin) is applying for her PhD this year and will hopefully reach the US in fall 2014 with full university funding. We would like to stay together in the US till she finishes her PhD, but do not have any plans for permanent residency (at least not yet). I plan to work after finishing my PhD while she completes her studies.
We will get married soon if that helps our case. Yes we are aware of the legal and moral issues around cousin marriages, but have already made up our minds to spend our lives together and cannot be talked out of it (we have been together for 8 years). Consequently, we are only looking for legal advice and not moral policing. In general, being able to support ourselves financially for the next few years is not an immediate problem.
My questions:
Are we better off being on F1 and F2 or J1 and J2 (assuming her university allows us to choose either)? From what I know, J1 and J2 seem better since transferring to an F2 upon the completion of my PhD will not allow me to work unless someone sponsors an H1 for me. J2 will give me more flexibility with the option of an H1 at a later date once I start working for someone. The 2 year home country rule seems to apply to us, but we will try to get it waived or worry about it later after 5 years. For now, being together and also being able to work (even if not immediately) are more important for me. The third option, of me availing OPT and then H1B through a sponsor while she comes on F1 and we eventually get married doesn't seem too good given the current job market.
In either case, is it better to get married now before she arrives in the US (which will have to be in a third country since it is not legal in our own country), or get married once she arrives in the US? Since I am currently in a third country for my research for the next few months, it is technically possible for us to get married here if required. What are the legal implications of she requesting a J1, reaching the US, getting married to me in the US while I am still on my F1, and then requesting a J2 for me?
Yes it's a convoluted scenario, and I will seek help from a lawyer, but wanted to get some general opinions before that.
Thank you.

