Why a name change, if your husband isn't interested in stepparent adoption? Or if he is, why not go in that direction?

The child is domiciled in Pennsylvania, so you file there. If you want New York to record the change on the child's birth certificate, you will follow New York's requirements for documenting the court ordered name change to the department of vital records.

You will attempt to notify the putative father by attempting to locate him and serve him with a copy of the petition. If your process server cannot locate him, you can petition the court to permit substituted service. His rights have nothing to do with the friendliness or unfriendliness of his nation of origin. Read this.