My question involves a child custody case from the State of: IL

My five year old sons dad doesn't honor his visitation rights...and they were only made because at the time he still lived at his grandmas house-and she (exs grandma) pushed it on him, it took him 5 months after not seeing him that long to finally go down and file for them.-enough nagging from her.

He doesn't come see him, pick him up, or even text me on holidays.

We have court ordered visitation days and my son and family live on this court ordered visitation schedule ONLY when his dad decides to enforce it.

In example, I could have family plans all day for a holiday, because NORMALLY we don't ever hear from his dad, but when his dad decides to try to be "father of the year" he suddenly will want him and it throws off all plans, routine and expectations for my son and my family. We are living at his convenience. This is not fair to my son or any of my family.

My ex's grandma who raised him will make every excuse in the world for why he doesn't see our son, and will even tell my son "your daddy cant come because he has to be at work to make your mom money." or "your daddy didn't come see you, because your mom didn't let you stay long enough" --Trying to blame it on me now that thats why he don't come.



Because I think its important he be involved with his other half of his family, on days when his dad is suppose to be spending time with him, I let him go with my ex's grandma...But after hearing those two excuses ^^ just stated above, I am not allowing her to pick him up.



I try to keep peace for my son's sake, but he is not happy for the right reasons. He is allowed to play bloody realistic zombie games such as "dead trigger" and "call of duty, black OPs zombie"..which are both purely adult games and not for a 5 year old.

I already have a text from his dad stating, "my wife and daughters come first." -When I told him how upset my son was when he(dad) was only over at his grandmas for a little bit and only played one game with him.

So my question is...Since he doesn't honor his visitation rights will it be pretty easy for me to have them changed to either limited or not at all?

The purpose of visitation is to set routine shared visitation and time for my son, but instead my son is dissapointed and told lies/excuses by his grandma and then appeased by his grandma with horrible video games to keep him happy because his dad doesn't come. As my son gets older he is questioning it more and now i've been thrown into the mix of being blamed as well for why he doesn't come.


I am not trying to take him from his dad, his dad has already done that. Now I am wanting my son to have better structure and routine in his life, not get pulled out of routine and plans when his dad decides to or have excuses being given to him every time, or be told he will be there next time and then be dissapointed over and over. It's not healthy and its given my son anxiety and hes come to the point of crying and telling me his dad only came over for a little bit to play one game with him once. The question of having a male role model isn't an issue either, as my fiance has been my sons role model and he calls him dad since he was 7 months old.-My son is now 5 years old.