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  1. #1

    Default Can I Refuse Visitation if Our Child Would Have to Fly Unattended

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Missouri

    My now ex husband was ordered years ago to re-establish a relationship with our child. Our child at the time was two and he had not seen him since he was about nine months old. Custody worked out well, although a part of the arrangement was he was ordered by the court to make his scheduled phone calls three times a week and all his visits or I would have the right to deny future visits. Now he does live in California, and he has said visits of six weeks in the summer and one week at Christmas, he is ordered to fly with my son during any exchanges, as there are too many wackos in the world and I was not sending my son on a plane by himself. Four and half years ago the phone calls stopped, maybe calls a handful of times a year, and he has not visited since then. My son who is now almost 14, will be in December no longer wants to go to California. So my question is, what do I do? Being that my parenting plan states he HAS to make 85 percent of his phone calls, and all his scheduled visits, can I deny further visits and not get into trouble by the court? I am not going to make my child go 2000 miles away from home, if he does not want to. End of story.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Louisville, KY
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    1,877

    Default Re: Momma Needs Some Good Advice

    If it really does say that you have the option to deny future visits, you could go back to court for a modification, but I doubt the judge is going to order that the child doesn't have to go at all. Even if the order does say that, I would get the judge to spell out when/if the child has to go see his father. If the judge does order the child to go and you don't send him, you could find yourself in contempt and/or losing custody of your child.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Momma Needs Some Good Advice

    Im not sure if you don't understand my post or what? I am not good at explaining things... The judge already lined it out in black and white, stating he had to make his visits, and phone calls, or my parenting plan states I have good cause to deny future visits. He was ordered to call Tuesday Thursday and Sunday at 730 pm my time.... He was also ordered to visit with my son every Christmas and Every Summer six weeks in the summer and one week at Winter. He has failed to do anything for the last four years. Pretty sure that is considered abandonment.... it was lined out this way, due to him needing to reestablish a relationship with his child, which also it should say he was three years old and not 2 years old up above, he abandoned my son and myself when my son was nine months old. I just didn't know if at this point I needed to go back to court or what, as my son has had barely any contact with him, and I am tired of the back and forth stuff he tries to pull.... it does more damage to a child when a parent goes back and forth, makes the child feel as though they have done something wrong... he complains and says he does not have the money to come see his son, but post pictures of him going all across California on his four wheeler and taking lavish trips with his now girlfriend.....

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Momma Needs Some Good Advice

    If your order ACTUALLY states word for word that you can deny visitation if Dad doesn't complete X, Y & Z, then it's pretty self-explanatory.

    You should however expect Dad to file for a modification - and if he gets it, you WILL be sending your mutual child.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Momma Needs Some Good Advice

    Quote Quoting mommaof3inmo
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Missouri

    My now ex husband was ordered years ago to re-establish a relationship with our child. Our child at the time was two and he had not seen him since he was about nine months old. Custody worked out well, although a part of the arrangement was he was ordered by the court to make his scheduled phone calls three times a week and all his visits or I would have the right to deny future visits. Now he does live in California, and he has said visits of six weeks in the summer and one week at Christmas, he is ordered to fly with my son during any exchanges, as there are too many wackos in the world and I was not sending my son on a plane by himself. Four and half years ago the phone calls stopped, maybe calls a handful of times a year, and he has not visited since then. My son who is now almost 14, will be in December no longer wants to go to California. So my question is, what do I do? Being that my parenting plan states he HAS to make 85 percent of his phone calls, and all his scheduled visits, can I deny further visits and not get into trouble by the court? I am not going to make my child go 2000 miles away from home, if he does not want to. End of story.
    You stated that dad hasn't attempted to exercise visitation in 4 1/2 years. What is prompting your question now? Is dad suddenly attempting exercise visitation or is this a "what if" scenario?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Momma Needs Some Good Advice

    And honestly - Dad has to fork out for an extra plane ticket because you aren't comfortable sending your teenager on a plane alone?

    There are more wackos in the local mall than on airplanes. Come on now.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Momma Needs Some Good Advice

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    And honestly - Dad has to fork out for an extra plane ticket because you aren't comfortable sending your teenager on a plane alone?

    There are more wackos in the local mall than on airplanes. Come on now.
    My son was three when we got divorced no I was not placing him on a plane by himself its not just the plane ticket is was about making my child feel comfortable with someone who is a complete stranger to him

  8. #8

    Default Re: Momma Needs Some Good Advice

    out of the blue he has started calling again in this last month... my son has expressed to me that he just doesn't want anything to do with him... I try to encourage otherwise but he is pretty mad/hurt by him at this point...

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
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    4,494

    Default Re: Momma Needs Some Good Advice

    Quote Quoting mommaof3inmo
    View Post
    I am not going to make my child go 2000 miles away from home, if he does not want to. End of story.
    Can I ask then what you think you're going to get out of posting here? You've already made the decision.

    But let me ask you this, are you just talking when you say that or are you willing to go into court and tell the JUDGE that you're not going to make him do it, end of story?

    I just need to see if it's worth me spending my time answering your question

  10. #10

    Default Re: Momma Needs Some Good Advice

    I am just frustrated and do not want to have to go to court... but do not want to allow him to treat my child like trash anymore!! Its not OK for someone to come and go the way he does... its effecting my child... and not in a good way!

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