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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
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    2

    Default 15 Year Old Daughter Doesn't Want to Visit Father's House and Thinks She Has a Choice

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Wisconsin

    My daughter lives 25 miles away, she goes to high school in Milwaukee. All of her friends are in Milwaukee. I want her to come over every other weekend and she does not want to. Her mother will call me when my day is approaching and tells me that she does not want to come. I have asked her mother to work with me on this, and that she is also my daughter and I would like to see her. I have 50% placement which I do not fully enforce because she goes to school by her mother . My daughter is starting to get in trouble and her grades went from all A's to barley passing. So I am trying to get a hold of my daughter to find out what is going on and support her in school. Mother is resistant to this. My daughter is starting to say she does not want to come here because of my wife. My wife does not physically or emotional abuse my daughter and has always been supportive of my daughter. My daughter is using this as an excuse not to come. I am not sure what I can do in this situation. As a father I know she needs my structure, discipline, and love. My daughter also chooses mothers house because there is no structure and she runs that house. The mother acts like a friend and not a parent, because she is afraid of losing her.

    Thanks,
    An upset father missing his daughter.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,521

    Default Re: 15 Year Old Daughter Doesn't Want to Visit Fathers House and Thinks She Has a Cho

    Point out to Mom that it is a court order, not a court suggestion, and that she can be found in contempt of court if she does not adhere to the order. This can end with Mom in jail.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: 15 Year Old Daughter Doesn't Want to Visit Fathers House and Thinks She Has a Cho

    Ditto, take her to court for contempt.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,307

    Default Re: 15 Year Old Daughter Doesn't Want to Visit Fathers House and Thinks She Has a Cho

    This can end with Mom in jail.
    ...and you, Dad, with 100% custody. Honestly, you should exercise your 50% time, even if it means you're going to have to go out of your way to get kiddo to school, so you can keep a better eye on her grades.

    Mama needs to step up and be a parent, not kiddo's bestie.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: 15 Year Old Daughter Doesn't Want to Visit Fathers House and Thinks She Has a Cho

    Forgot to add this.. The mother has said shes old enough to make her own decisions on where she wants to be, so now my daughter thinks the same way. Is this true in Wisconsin?

    Thanks again.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: 15 Year Old Daughter Doesn't Want to Visit Fathers House and Thinks She Has a Cho

    Nope, absolutely not true.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,521

    Default Re: 15 Year Old Daughter Doesn't Want to Visit Fathers House and Thinks She Has a Cho

    There is only one state, and that state is not Wisconsin, where a minor under the age of 18 can make that decision, and even in that one state there are exceptions.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: 15 Year Old Daughter Doesn't Want to Visit Fathers House and Thinks She Has a Cho

    Quote Quoting cbg
    View Post
    There is only one state, and that state is not Wisconsin, where a minor under the age of 18 can make that decision, and even in that one state there are exceptions.
    There is only one by statute...but there is at least one other (mine) where judges commonly give older teens the right to choose.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting millerwl71
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Wisconsin

    My daughter lives 25 miles away, she goes to high school in Milwaukee. All of her friends are in Milwaukee. I want her to come over every other weekend and she does not want to. Her mother will call me when my day is approaching and tells me that she does not want to come. I have asked her mother to work with me on this, and that she is also my daughter and I would like to see her. I have 50% placement which I do not fully enforce because she goes to school by her mother . My daughter is starting to get in trouble and her grades went from all A's to barley passing. So I am trying to get a hold of my daughter to find out what is going on and support her in school. Mother is resistant to this. My daughter is starting to say she does not want to come here because of my wife. My wife does not physically or emotional abuse my daughter and has always been supportive of my daughter. My daughter is using this as an excuse not to come. I am not sure what I can do in this situation. As a father I know she needs my structure, discipline, and love. My daughter also chooses mothers house because there is no structure and she runs that house. The mother acts like a friend and not a parent, because she is afraid of losing her.

    Thanks,
    An upset father missing his daughter.
    Dad, is there any way you could move closer to the child and start exercising your 50/50 again?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,521

    Default Re: 15 Year Old Daughter Doesn't Want to Visit Fathers House and Thinks She Has a Cho

    I'm sure there are plenty of states where older teens are, in some circumstances, given the right to choose. But not where the right is guaranteed or binding on the court. Which is what the OP wants to know about.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    604

    Default Re: 15 Year Old Daughter Doesn't Want to Visit Fathers House and Thinks She Has a Cho

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Dad, is there any way you could move closer to the child and start exercising your 50/50 again?
    Winner winner!

    It's going to be difficult enough for dad to assert his rights to fifty percent if he's let things go like this so long. If he's still that bit of distance, it will be even more difficult (however, I fail to see why a 25 min drive to school should have led dad to the decision to become a weekend parent in the first place. That should have never happened, and dad has fault for allowing it to).

    I forsee that if dad attempts to resume the 50/50 schedule, mom files a petition to modify the order to reflect the ongoing arrangement that they have had. And I don't think it would be all that difficult for her to get. Dad needs to be aware that he's dug himself a hole that he needs to be careful digging himself out of.

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